Wheres your g spot

We’re more sex positive than ever. But we still haven’t erased some fundamental truths: Women’s bodies are still policed, sex education is still lacking, and talking about sex still carries a stigma. It’s created a whisper network around sex and made the very mention of the words female pleasure enough to make you blush. So this week we’re discussing good sex and why it matters. Our mantra? Owning your sexual pleasure is power.

It’s one of those fall days that’s more July than September and I’m late for coffee with Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., a sexologist and relationship expert. We’re here to talk about G-spots, C-spots, and A-spots (two of which I had to google in advance) all in the name of female pleasure. I throw my sweaty blond hair into a bun and start talking loudly and proudly about all things vagina.

The large party of men seated behind us are clearly horrified; 10 bucks says it’s because they’ve never found anyone’s G-spot, let alone heard of an A-spot. Then again, I didn’t know what an A-spot was either. Frankly, I bet a lot of women don’t—and it’s not our fault. So many of us struggle with shame over self-pleasure, let alone pleasure during sex, and don’t feel that getting to know our bodies is either necessary or acceptable. I bought my first vibrator at 22, and set the “right” scene—lacy black bra, flickering candles, low-beat music—to test it out. I mostly just felt weird under the covers with myself.

Before we got technical about the A-spot, G-spot, and C-spot, O’Reilly and I talked basics. “First give yourself permission to feel pleasure that is not sexual,” she says. How often do you sigh when you step into a hot shower? Make a sound in the back of your throat with that first sip of wine or bite of chocolate? How are women supposed to react to and engage with sexual pleasure when we can’t do the same with nonsexual sensation? The road to owning your pleasure starts before anyone gets naked.

“The most important part is identifying where on your body you as an individual experience pleasure,” says Leah Millheiser, M.D., a board-certified ob-gyn and female sexual medicine and menopausal health expert. “Putting the emphasis on spots can cause a lot of stress. Women go seeking them out, and when they can’t get there, they think there’s something wrong with them.” No matter where you are in understanding the anatomy of your pleasure, don’t feel pressured to get too hung up on any one hot spot. Before you start, O’Reilly suggests “wrapping your hand around your vagina and just see what that feels like. Close your eyes and fantasize with no inhibition, no rhythm, no restrictions.”

The C-Spot

First up, the C-spot, which is short for the clitoris. Your clitoris is a whole wishbone-shaped area that runs down either side of your vaginal opening, not just one spot, but that “little bump” right at the apex is usually the most sensitive spot. That’s your C-spot. “Its sole function is to create pleasure and ultimately lead to orgasm,” says O’Reilly, who is a We-Vibe sexpert, holding a hot pink vibrator from the brand in one hand and her iced tea in the other.

There are a lot of options for stimulating it—the old tried-and-true hand method (“Use the tip of your finger to roll around that area for direct stimulation,” she says) or, of course, toys. We-Vibe’s Melt uses something called “pleasure air technology” to pulse around the clitoris with increasing intensity,” she says. “A small bullet vibe with a flat tip is also a good option.”

The G-Spot

Personally, I’ve always been confused by the mythical G-spot. “The G-spot is an area that’s not inside the vagina but accessible through it,” O’Reilly explains. If you wanted to stimulate it, you’d reach into the vagina—not very deep—and curl your fingers up toward the wall of your stomach. “If you wait until you’re aroused to do this, the area feels more textured than the rest of the vaginal canal,” she says.

The elusive G-spot is one of the most hotly debated areas when it comes to women’s sexual health. But despite what you may have been told in your (less-than-great) seventh grade sex education class, the G-spot most definitely exists and is absolutely accessible.

“The G-spot is the urethral sponge hitting up against the vaginal wall,” explains Carolanne Marcantonio, LMSW, a senior sex therapist and co-founder of Wise Therapy. “Similar to an erect penis, the sponge gets bigger when aroused, so you can find it better when you’re turned on.”

That said, some people might think the G-spot doesn’t exist simply because not every woman has one. Plus, the G-spot wraps around the urethra, which can make you feel like you need to pee and isn’t always pleasurable, says Marcantonio. So if you don’t like this sensation, no harm, no foul—just skip the G-spot when you play.

But if you’ve stumbled across your G-spot a few times and were like, “OMGGGG”—listen up. It’s not just your G-spot that feels amazing. “When the G-spot is stimulated, it pushes against the mons pubis, which pushes against the clitoris and clitoral ligaments, which causes pleasure,” says Marcantonio. “It’s all connected.”

Now that you know the G-spot exists, how do you find it?

First things first, you need to know where to look. The G-spot is nestled between your pubic bone and the front of your cervix, about two inches into the vaginal opening on the front wall of your vagina (the one closer to your stomach, not your back). And while it’s long been regarded as a bit of a human sexuality mystery, once you find it, you can unlock that ever-elusive dual vaginal and clitoral orgasm (yes!).

Learn 14 mind-blowing facts that will completely change the way you think about orgasms.

But before you take your fingers on a spelunking mission, get into a sexy mood. When you’re aroused, more blood rushes to your pelvic region and the spot becomes raised and easier to find. So light some candles, fantasize, fire up some feminist porn, or do whatever else you like. Once you’re all hot and bothered, Marcantonio recommends “inserting your finger(s) two to three inches up, curving the finger(s), and then rocking them towards the belly button.” If you’re playing with a partner or a toy, you can also enter the vagina from behind, just keep the pressure pointing towards your belly button.

Your G-spot might feel rougher than other parts of your vagina, or feel like a ridged area, but that’s not always the case. “There’s no specific texture you need to be looking for,” says Marcantonio. “The best way to find it is to experiment.”

Once you find your G-spot (good job!), what should you do now?

Use firm, deep pressure to stroke the area. Try a rhythmic circular motion or more of an up-and-down technique, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, sexuality educator and author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. Another popular method is moving your fingers in a “come here” motion (kind of appropriate, right?).

Keep in mind that the G-spot isn’t actually on the vaginal front wall. Instead, it’s something you can feel through the center of the front wall, or a bit off to the left or right of the center. Since it’s not right there, you may need more pressure than you think to hit the jackpot.

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If you’re struggling to find the G-spot with your fingers, or just want more pressure than your fingers can produce, Marcantonio recommends trying a curved non-vibrating sex toy, such as the stainless steel Njoy Pure Wand dildo. Pro tip: Lube up the toy before inserting it slowly and making a rocking motion towards your belly button.

If it’s feeling good so far, increase the rhythm, and create a lot of friction as you go on to boost your chances of orgasm. “Stimulating the area will create sensations if it’s a hot spot for you. Some people describe a warm, flushing feeling throughout their genitals and body,” says Fulbright. “Others says they become a lot wetter.” Even better, she says women have reported G-spot orgasms feeling fuller, more intense, more emotional, and more full-bodied than the clitoral variety. Of course, if you don’t reach the Big O, but it feels crazy good anyway, that’s awesome, too. Getting to know your body better is always a good thing.

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“G-spot sensation also varies based on the menstrual cycle,” says Marcantonio. In fact, “all pleasure spots can change as the body progresses through its cycle.” So don’t freak out if the sensation changes throughout the month—that’s just your body doing its thing.

Can stimulating your G-spot help you squirt?

If you’re interested in squirting, a.k.a. female ejaculation, tapping into your G-spot might be the way to go. While not everybody can squirt, and ejaculation does not equal orgasm, “G-spot stimulation is often encouraged in exploring one’s potential to squirt since the ejaculate often occurs when a woman is peaking—not necessarily climaxing—during G-spot play,” explains Fulbright.

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Female ejaculation comes from “the buildup of fluid in the urethral sponge,” adds Marcantonio. If enough fluid builds up and is followed up by intense pressure (both on the G-spot and the clitoris), ejaculation can occur. It won’t always happen—and tbh, it depends on how hydrated you are—but if squirting excites you, it’s definitely worth a try. Just, uh, remember to put a towel down before you play.

Most importantly, remember that every body is different. So if your first attempt at G-spot stimulation isn’t a total success, just keep experimenting. After all, practice makes perfect, right?

If you are one of those people who has always wondered how to find the G spot – wonder no more. We will help you get up to speed, explain what it is, how to awaken it and how to stimulate your g spot.

What is the G Spot?

The G spot – or Gräfenberg spot – was named after the German scientist Ernst Gräfenberg who discovered it. It is one of the main pleasure spots on a woman. The G spot is an area you can locate and stimulate on the upper wall of a woman’s vagina.If it gets the right amount of pressure and stimulation for the right amount of time, the sensation can build into a G spot orgasm.

How To Find the G Spot

Because you can’t readily see it, the G spot feels elusive, surrounded by secret and mystery. Physically, it is located right past the pelvic bone, on the upper wall of the vagina. You can get a good idea of how to find the G spot if you know what it feels like.

To get a sense of its location, try the following:

  1. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth, right behind your teeth.
  2. Move the tip of tongue slightly inward and feel the bumpy part of the roof of your mouth.
  3. If you go a little farther back into your mouth with your tongue, there is a smooth area – this is a close approximation to what the G spot feels like.
  4. Inside the vagina, there is a rough area first; this is called the urethral sponge. Deeper inside, the vagina smooths out. This is where you’ll find your G spot. Pressure from your partner’s fingers on the smooth area gives the most pleasurable G spot sensation.

How Many G Spots Does a Woman Have?

If you are curious as to how many G spots a woman has – the answer is one. The G spot is actually more of an area of sensitivity than a spot, per se. This area can also move around inside the vagina throughout the month.

Every woman has a G spot and the potential for a G spot orgasm. However, the G spot can develop at different times for different women. In a small percentage of women, the G spot develops early in life and becomes a place where they feel a lot of sensation. For another set of women, the G spot doesn’t develop until later, and it can take weeks or sometimes even a year of consistent stimulation to feel pleasure from it.

Unfortunately, because women have been told the G spot is a myth, they give up exploring when they feel numbness or irritation from G spot stimulation.

How to Awaken the G Spot

During penetration, a penis or dildo brushes across the G spot. If the G spot has not been awakened, this is unlikely to provide enough pressure and stimulation to lead to G spot pleasure or orgasm. It can be helpful to first awaken the G spot using fingers.

Beginning with fingers has two perks: you can try out a wide range of pressures, starting gently and slowly, working up to deeper, faster, more intense forms of stimulation. Secondly – fingers are very sensitive and can map the most responsive locations on or around the G spot. Having your partner massage the G spot while applying increasing pressure, speed, and intensity is the surest way to awaken and arouse the G spot in women. This is particularly true if you remember to breathe and relax and accept that it may not happen right away.

How to Stimulate the G Spot

Once you have found and awakened this pleasure point, the question becomes how to stimulate the G spot.

When massaged patiently, the G spot grows and expands. This is also when you might feel like you need to pee. Many women are worried and embarrassed that they might pee on their partner, so they hold back at the most important pre-orgasmic moment, tightening up instead of letting go. This stops them from experiencing the depth of orgasmic intensity that the G spot can provide.

In your G spot explorations, give yourself plenty of time (at least an hour) and remember you don’t need to orgasm or ejaculate. Simply be receptive and feel what sensations are possible for you. Have your partner go slowly and lightly at first, and then build speed and pressure. Once you begin exploring the G spot, your clitoris might become less sensitive and/or more difficult to locate.

Make sure your partner tries lots of different strokes, speeds, and pressures. Give feedback about what feels best for you. Don’t forget, this is likely to change over the course of a day and over the weeks, months, and years of your life. As you become more aroused, you will generally be able to take more pressure. You may need a lot of pressure to orgasm from your G spot, or you may respond to lighter touch.

It’s also possible to awaken and stimulate your G spot with a G spot sex toy, designed specifically for that purpose. Some of them are simply shafts that have an upward curvature to apply pressure to your G spot. Other toys offer vibration options as well. While vibration is less important to the G spot than the clit, it can be very pleasurable to have vibration on your G spot.

How Can a Sex Coach Help You Find Your G Spot?

Now that you have all of the facts on how to find your G spot, it is time to go out and practice with yourself or a partner. If you or your partner feel any hesitancy around giving this new adventure a try, a visit to a sex coach can be helpful.

Additionally, a hands-on sex coach – such a Somatica coach – is able to demonstrate how much massage pressure you might need to use on the G spot on your hand or somewhere else on your body.

If you would like a sex coach to show you more directly how to stimulate your G spot, you could consider working with a sexological bodyworker.

The female G spot is pretty elusive and mysterious. So many people ask where is the Gspot in women and people with vaginas? And so many doubt it event exists. But trust us, it’s real. Here’s everything you need to know about the Gräfenberg spot (as it’s formally known).

What is the G spot, exactly?

The G spot is an erogenous zone, about the size of a 5p piece, located just underneath your front vaginal wall. It’s made from ultra sensitive, erectile-like tissue that, which when touched, swells – so it’s becomes the size of a 10p – and brings on feelings of sexual bliss (similar to the way your clitoris responds to contact) and may be ‘key’ to orgasm for some women and people with vaginas. Some even reckon it can be key to squirting/ejaculation, too. So if you’re wondering how to orgasm, finding your G spot might be the answer.

VPanteonGetty Images

Where is the Gspot?

First, lie back and get comfortable. Insert your finger a few inches into your vagina, with your palm facing up. Use lots of lube because it’ll feel better, and reduce the risk of injury or soreness.

Press into the front vaginal wall directly or make a ‘tickle’ motion. “You should feel a spongy area about one-third of the way in,” says Dr Sandor Gardos, staff sexologist at My Pleasure. Don’t be afraid to press firmly. It may feel strange – many women describe their spot as wrinkly, puckered or just different from the surrounding soft tissue.

If you can’t find the G spot, try searching from outside your body while your other hand is still inside. “Trace a line from your belly button to the top of your pubic bone, then press around the area,” says sex therapist Dr Judy Kuriansky. If you start to feel tingly, you’ve hit the spot.

Still coming up empty-handed? Then get using that erotic imagination of yours – when you’re aroused, your G spot hardens, gets rougher (sort of like a walnut) and doubles in size. Being turned on should make it more pronounced. And although it’s usually more comfortable to seek it out while lying down, squatting might give you deeper access.

If you don’t want to go exploring for yours yourself, you can always use a little helping silicone hand. G-spot vibrators target vibes to your G-spot (and your clitoris but you can turn this function off if you just want internal stimulation).

Tracey Cox Tracey Cox Supersex G-Spot Vibrator Tracey Cox lovehoney.co.uk £24.99

If you’re also into simultaneous clitoral stimulation, a rabbit vibrator is a really good shout. It’ll target vibes to your G-spot and clitoris at the same time. The Happy Rabbit mini is affordable and so soft and silky.

Happy Rabbit Rechargeable Mini Rabbit Vibrator Happy Rabbit lovehoney.co.uk £39.99

How can finding your G spot improve your sex life?

A few fast strokes won’t result in an instantaneous orgasmic explosion, unfortunately. But with practice and perseverance, you’ll get the hang of the type of movements that’ll increase your desire faster, and make it easier to orgasm. “Massaging your G-spot on a regular basis can increase blood flow through your entire below-the-belt area, which translates into heightened sexual response,” says Dr Kuriansky. “The new sensations can leave you so worked up, women who have never had an orgasm before have been able to reach climax.”

How you can guide your partner to your G spot

If you think you’re G-spot-challenged, imagine how uninformed your partner must feel. Start by asking them to gently slip two well-lubed fingers inside you, and then get them to alternate pressing their fingertips against your front vaginal wall.

Megan Madden / Refinery29 for Getty Images

Also, during foreplay, have them stimulate you internally as the other hand strokes your lower-belly border, stimulating your spot from the outside. Or prolong the G-spot sensation by guiding them there until you’re about to go over the edge, then suddenly push their hand away. “Ask them to play with your clitoris or the outside of your vagina for a while, then go back to your G-spot,” suggests Dr Gardos. Shifting back and forth will build so much sexual tension, you’ll be likely to come via G-spot stimulation alone.

Which sex positions are the best for G-spot stimulation?

Luckily, hitting your G-spot while having penetrative sex doesn’t have to mean doing contortions. “If you alter the angle of your partner’s penis so they can’t miss stroking your front vaginal wall, almost any position can thrill your G-spot,” says Dr Kuriansky.

The Rider (formerly known as Cowgirl)

Sofie Birkin

With your partner lying on their back, straddle them so you’re facing them. As they enter you, lean back slightly, your pelvis raised, hands behind you, supporting your weight. Slide up and down with slow, steady strokes. “When you’re on top, you can shift yourself – and your partner – around to find your G-spot more easily,” adds Dr Kuriansky.

Missionary

Sofie Birkin

If you prefer missionary, it doesn’t rate all that high on the G-spot scale, unless you place a pillow or two under your lower back. That raises your pelvis up a few inches so a penis or strap-on can easily rub against your G-spot.

Doggy style

Sofie Birkin

For a G-spot quickie, stand facing the wall with your hands against it and your partner behind you, their knees bent, so their pelvis is below yours. As they thrust at an upward slant, the entire length of the shaft will rub along the location of your G-spot.

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Hitting the G-spot

THE G-spot is probably the most talked-about aspect of sexual relations as it is believed to be able to produce very powerful female orgasms. Yet, it remains elusive to many.

For many women (and men), finding the G-spot is practically a lifetime endeavour. Some may never find it … but half the fun is in the finding!

Does it exist?

Is the G-spot real, or just an idea cooked up by a woman to make things more challenging for men? Well, conventional wisdom indicates that it does exist in some women but not in others, and that the sensitivity varies for every woman.

The G-spot is an area located about one to two inches inside the vagina on the front wall (the “front” wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as the belly button). The area consists of the bean-shaped spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland – it is to women what the prostate is to men.

When a woman is not sexually aroused, the actual area is no bigger than a pea, but once she is aroused, it increases to the size of a small coin. This is because the G-spot is composed of erectile tissue and swells up when blood rushes to it.

It feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue, rather like a walnut compared to the smooth, silky wall of the vagina.

It was named after a gynaecologist called Dr Ernst Gräfenberg, who first described the G-spot in the 1940s.

Finding it

So how does one find this mysterious spot? The most commonly recommended method is to insert the forefinger and crook it into a “come here” motion towards the front vaginal wall, sliding your fingertip along the top of the vagina until you find an area that is rougher than the rest of that vaginal wall.

Foreplay is important because a woman will be more sensitive if she is already sexually aroused. Experiment with the pressure and length of the stroke to find out what feels best.

Some women do not enjoy manual stimulation of the G-spot, but may enjoy penile stimulation during intercourse. It helps if the man’s penis has a natural upward bend and is able to make contact with the G-spot, but different positions may also work, such as the “woman on top” or the posterior position, or raising the woman’s pelvis.

It’s quite likely that you will not be able to find the G-spot on your first try. Women should not be shy to tell their partners what they are feeling during stimulation, and what feels particularly sensitive.

Gee, what does it feel like?

Different women have described different sensations with stimulation of the G-spot. Some women say that the first sensation is similar to the need to urinate – this is possibly because the G-spot is on the front wall, therefore pushing against the bladder.

However, when you become comfortable with it, you may be fortunate enough to experience a powerful orgasm, or even multiple orgasms if the G-spot is stimulated repetitively.

Some women even claim to ejaculate when their G-spot is stimulated. Research shows that approximately 10% of women release between 9ml and 900ml of fluid from the urethra during such an orgasm.

G-spotless?

Despite all the hype built up around the G-spot, we have to face the fact that not all women are G-spot-sensitive. Some women actually find G-spot stimulation to be uncomfortable or simply produce no sensation at all.

It is believed that women can intensify their ability to have G-spot orgasms by doing Kegel exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles.

Age may also make a difference in the type of orgasms women achieve. For most young women under 30, their relatively high oestrogen levels lead to thicker vaginal walls. Hence, it is more difficult to directly stimulate their G-spot area.

After their 30s, however, women’s oestrogen levels begin to decline, causing the vaginal lining to become thinner and the G-spot to become more accessible. So you may find G-spot orgasms more likely during your early to mid-30s.

Nonetheless, you don’t have to build your entire sex life around that little area known as the G-spot. If you and your partner take it too seriously, it may even end up ruining your enjoyment of sex.

If you don’t have a sensitive G-spot, just accept it. The clitoris and urethra are other erogenous zones that can be stimulated to provide pleasure. So experiment and explore other ways to improve your sex life.

n Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar is a consultant obstetrician & gynaecologist (FRCOG, UK). For further information, visit www.primanora.com. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.

Save the G-Spot

The G-spot doesn’t exist…

…at least, not according to recent science news headlines. But here’s why you shouldn’t take them at face value.

Scientists actually just gave the G-spot a better name. The new name? “Clitoral Urethral Vagina Complex” or “CUV.”

But why the change?

Science in Service to Pleasure

In recent years, our understanding of the “G-spot” and how and why it works has improved.

Sex researchers felt the name “G-spot” was causing women & their partners to search in vain for a magical “spot,” rather than appreciating the complex interplay of multiple aspects of female sexual anatomy.

With that in mind, here’s a review of these well-known erogenous zones — as a map for informed exploration…

All Hail the Clitoris

New imaging technology has revealed the true profile of the mighty clitoris.

The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings — more than anywhere else in the female body, and almost double the nerve endings of a penis.

Filled with spongy erectile tissue (just like the penis) the clitoris is the only organ in the body solely dedicated to pleasure.

Unlike the drawings in your high-school sex ed class, the clitoris is not just a small button positioned at the upper junction of the labia.

Instead, it’s a large, wishbone-shaped organ extending wings along the pubic bone and back around the opening of the vagina. These larger two wings actually contribute to the swelling and pleasurable sensation around the labia, vaginal opening, and lower section of the vagina.

This deeper anatomy suggests there are more approaches beyond just direct & indirect stimulation of the clitoral shaft & head.

Massaging the inner thighs, the mons veneris, and the labia are essential warmup and stimulation for the clitoris. Additionally, contraction & release of the pelvic floor muscles can create deep clitoral pleasure and enhanced orgasmic access.

Experiment and see what works best for you!

Why the G-Spot isn’t a Spot

Most sources describe the “G-Spot” as an area about 2-3 inches up the front wall of the vagina, that swells during arousal and responds intensely to a “come hither” finger-stroke.

This swelling turns out to be caused by the “urethral sponge” or the “female prostate,” a series of glands between the bladder, urethra, and vagina. The location and size of these glands varies in all women, and display widely different patterns of swelling — which explains why they’re sometimes hard for partners to locate.

Stimulation and compression of these glands is sometimes the source of “squirting” during orgasm — but that should never be viewed as the “goal” of pleasuring, since goals can create tension and pull you out of the moment.

At the same time, many women resist these beautiful releases, mistakenly believing that it’s pee! If this is you, grab a towel next time, and experiment with “bearing down” while stimulating your “non-existent” G-spot!

An Ode to Pleasure

So… the “non-existent G-Spot” is actually a beautiful partnership of the urethral sponge and the mighty clitoris! Fortunately, there are multiple ways to stimulate these areas — alone or in combination — leading to a wide variety of pleasurable & orgasmic experiences!

Exploring your body’s response to stimulation — alone or with a partner — you may be able to feel an increase in sensation and arousal, and develop a connection with your own self that increases your capacity for pleasure.

Check out some deeper sexual anatomy, or read about the best way to approach therapeutic vaginal massage.

Getty Images

Many women have G-spot envy: They’ve heard a lot about this elusive area, but have failed to locate that magical ‘button’ that can allegedly make them weak in the knees. And while the G-spot is said to produce some very pleasurable sensations, it should learn to share the spotlight with a few other areas of the female body.

You may wonder what other areas of the female body, aside from the clitoris (loosely referred to the female equivalent of the penis), could possibly out shadow the G-spot?’ Read on to find out.

The A-spot and the U-spot have recently gained some notoriety of their own, getting shout outs on The Dr. Oz Show in addition to many other mainstream radio stations and magazines. However, a few mistakes have been made along the way in describing their exact whereabouts. Let’s take a moment to discuss where you can find them, why you should care, and how they may dethrone your hunt for the G-spot.

The A-spot is a patch of sensitive tissue that is positioned at the very ‘back’ or innermost point of the vagina, next to the cervix. By applying pressure to the area on the side of the cervix closest to your bladder (belly button direction), known as the anterior fornix, one can stimulate the A-spot in a matter of seconds. What does awakening this spot do for you? The A-spot can produce rapid lubrication of the vagina (within seconds), even in women who are not normally sexually responsive, or have issues producing enough lubrication, which is very common as women age. But that’s not the best part. Stimulation can also cause orgasms in some women, and unlike the clitoris, these orgasmic contractions do not suffer from post-orgasm over sensitivity – meaning multiple orgasms are possible without rest periods in-between.

The U-spot is another important area that may be easier for some women to find than the A-spot. It’s positioned at the opening of the vagina, directly above and to either side, of the urethral opening (where we urinate from). Often referred to as the female prostate, the U-spot can produce very pleasurable and powerful erotic sensations when stroked lightly. And since it’s easier to see, it’s easier to find than the mysterious G-spot.

If you feel like you’ll need a treasure map to navigate ‘down there,’ rest assured that half the fun is in exploring. It’s time for you to decide whether these spots truly deserve to share in a little of the spotlight.

Dr. Teesha Morgan is a sex therapist based in Vancouver, BC.

Looking for the G-Spot? 6 Things to Know

Source: iStockPhoto/volkovslava, used with permission, G-spot

Is the G-spot real? The evidence is a bit mysterious because the “spot” doesn’t appear to be a distinct structure, but, rather, a cluster of nerves and tissue that engorges or changes in sensation when aroused. And not all women feel it. Some women feel extreme pleasure when the spot is stimulated, but others … not a thing.

Here are six things to know about this sexy erogenous zone:

Where is it? The G-spot is on the roof of the vagina at about 12 o’clock when the woman is lying on her back. It is about 2.5-3 inches in the vagina, directly below her urethra. The angle for self-exploration is essentially backwards for the woman so the location makes it nearly impossible to discover the spot with her own fingers.

Does every woman have it? Essentially, yes. But the degree of sexual sensation in the spot varies widely from woman to woman and can vary even within the same woman depending on the timing of arousal, time of day, time of month and season of life.

Best technique to touch it. Fingers provide the best access. If you are firmly but gently using a “come-hither” curl to your stroke you might feel a slight increase in firmness about the size of a quarter.

How do I know I’m touching the right spot? Some lovers report that they can’t feel any tissue differential with their fingers. Your female partner may report a delightful sensation guiding you to the correct area. Or she may say that she feels the need to urinate – this means you are at the right spot but at the wrong time. She will need considerably more general arousal before her body will translate this same touch as sexually pleasurable.

Can intercourse provide G-spot stimulation? Yes, and certain positions bring the penis into contact with the G-spot more than others. Two ways to try: 1) woman lying on her back with her legs curled up tilts her pelvis, or 2) woman on top at a 45-degree angle. Both positions are also more likely to cause a vaginal-contact orgasm.

What if I (the woman) don’t feel anything? Ask for stimulation immediately prior to orgasm. You might also try a G-spot stimulator sex toy to see if you can find it on your own in a no-pressure environment.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby

Like so many other aspects of female sexuality, the G-spot is typically—and unfairly—thought of as mysterious, elusive, and complex. In reality, it’s not that complicated. It’s a part of a woman’s body that—for some women—can create a lot of pleasure. End of story. Here’s how to find her G-spot, and what to do with it once you do.

What It Is

The G-spot is named after the German gynecologist who discovered it – Ernst Gräfenberg. (Fun fact: he’s also the inventor of the IUD.) Gräfenberg was originally researching urethral stimulation, and classified the G-spot as an erogenous zone on the anterior (the side beneath the belly) wall of the vaginal canal.

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There’s actually still vigorous disagreement in the scientific community as to whether or not the G-spot truly exists. Some claim that the G-spot is its own unique structure, and describe it as a “spongey bean” that protrudes from the wall of the vagina. Other researchers claim that there isn’t anything unique about the area that warrants its own name. Here’s my take —whether or not it’s a specialized structure, the area still tends to be pretty sensitive for a lot of women. That’s because it’s in close proximity to the sensitive internal fibers of the clitoris.

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Ask Her If She’s Interested

Ask your partner if she wants you to touch her G-spot. She may already know that she does or does not like stimulation there. Whatever you do, try not to hype up the G-spot too much. A lot of women feel pressure to have special G-spot orgasms or squirting orgasms, so specific G-spot exploration can bring up a feelings of anxiety or deficiency.

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Here’s the most important thing to know about the G-spot—as is the case with every other part of the body, the experience of pleasure is subjective. Some women love having their G-spots stimulated. Other women don’t. Having a G-spot that feels pleasurable isn’t a sign of being better than other women, just as having a kneecap that feels pleasurable isn’t a sign of superiority. Similarly, the G-spot not being particularly sensitive doesn’t say anything about the woman it belongs to. If she’s on board, it can be a fun area to explore, but don’t put any pressure or expectation on her.

Find It

As noted above, the G-spot is on the anterior wall of her vagina. This is the side directly below her pubic bone. Most people mistakenly think that the G-spot is at the end of the vaginal canal. It’s actually much closer to the entrance than you might think—typically one to three inches in

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It’s easiest to find with your fingers. Have her lay on her back. Insert one or two fingers into her, with your palm facing up. Make a “come here” motion, so your fingertips curl upwards to the wall of her vagina. You may feel a small protrusion about the diameter of a nickel or a quarter. It may feel a bit spongier than the tissues surrounding it. Or you may not feel anything different from the rest of her vaginal wall. If the latter is the case, try touching all around the anterior wall of the vagina, and ask her to let you know which area feels the most pleasurable for her.

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Touch It

The G-spot typically responds best to very firm pressure. Try placing two fingers directly onto the G-spot. Press your fingers firmly into the skin, and move them around in slow circles, as if you were giving it a massage. You don’t want to move your fingers across the skin; you mostly want to keep them in contact with the same part of the her vaginal wall, but slowly pull the skin along with your fingers. Sort of like as if you were massaging your temples with your fingertips.

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If G-spot stimulation doesn’t feel particularly pleasurable for her on its own, you can try pairing it with other types of stimulation. Try using two fingers of one hand on her G-spot, and the thumb of the other hand on her clitoris. Or you can try one hand on the G-spot and the other in or around her anus.

Let Her Be the Boss

For some women, G-spot stimulation very quickly creates a sensation of needing to pee. The G-spot is located in pretty close proximity to the bladder, which may explain the connection. G-spot stimulation can also lead to squirting orgasms, so that’s another possible explanation for the sudden feelings of pressure and fullness.

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Because of this, a lot of women get nervous about G-spot stimulation, even to the point of asking their partners to stop. It’s important to listen to her requests if she asks you to stop. In the vast majority of cases, she won’t actually pee, but the fear of losing control can be distracting and even scary for some women. You can also set her at ease by putting down towels or a shower curtain liner, or assuring her that you wouldn’t mind if she relaxed and allowed her body to release fluid. You can also try messing around in the shower, for easier and quicker cleanup.

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Get Some Toys Involved

If she enjoys G-spot stimulation, you may want to invest in a toy to further your explorations. The G-spot typically requires a lot of stimulation, to the point where your hand might start getting a little tired or sore. If that’s the case, I highly recommend the Njoy Pure Wand. It’s curved just right to hit the G-spot with minimal effort from you. She can also use it on her own. I also really like the curved rose wand from Chakrubs, for the same reason. Both toys are made of very hard materials (medical grade stainless steel and rose quartz, respectively), which make it easy to create a lot of pressure.

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How To Master The Woman’s G-Spot

If There’s One Part Of Her You Should Focus On Tonight, It’s This

January 25, 2019 Share Tweet Flip 0 Shares

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There’s no doubt you’ve heard of the G-spot: that mythical area that supposedly feels extra good for ladies when you hit it. If you haven’t managed to find it on your girl, don’t feel too bad: there are a lot of women who haven’t even found their own G-spots themselves. Why not? For starters, it can be hard to locate. And when she’s masturbating and her clitoris is right out there in the open and ready to go, going on a solo treasure hunt in search of the G-spot might seem like an unnecessary distraction.

RELATED: Understanding The Clitoris

However, for the women who have managed to find that sacred spot, the results can be pretty mind blowing, and any guy who can find his partner’s G-spot and use it to give her maximum pleasure (that elusive female orgasm) would qualify as an incredible lover. Finding it, however, is only the first step. You’ll need to know how it works, and the best ways to stimulate it for maximum pleasure, both during foreplay and during actual sexual intercourse. Needless to say, having a few sex positions handy that target this erogenous zone will further help your cause.

Ready to start searching and blow her mind – and possibly even give her multiple orgasms? Here’s how to master the G-spot – what it is, what it does, how to find it, best practices for making it feel good and beyond. In other words, here’s how to make a woman orgasm.

1. What Is The G-Spot?

You might be surprised to hear that the G-spot is actually not a spot at all. “What a lot of people don’t realize is that the G-spot isn’t a fixed spot,” says sex therapist Kerrin Bradfield, “and it’s not in the same location on everyone. refers more to an area of the urethral sponge and clitoris that produces an amazing sensation when stimulated.” The G-spot was first discovered back in the 1950’s, and was described by Dr. Ernst Grafenberg as a “distinct erotogenic zone” on the anterior vaginal wall along the urethra that responds to sexual stimulation. But it was Dr. Beverly Whipple who gave the spot it’s name, G-spot, after Dr. Grafenberg. (Fun Fact: In coming up with names for this discovery, one option that was on the table was the “Whipple Tickle.” No, we’re not joking.)

So, how does this thing work? It’s all about the nerve endings. “The G-spot is an area marked by many sensitive nerve pathways, tissues and organs,” explains sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly. “As opposed to being a singular organ, it is believed that its sensitivity is connected to corollary stimulation of the female prostate (previously referred to as Skene’s glands), urethral sponge and inner clitoris.”

The G-Spot is located at number 6 on this diagram. Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Now would also be a good time to note that the orgasms that occur through stimulating the G-spot versus the ones that result from clitoral stimulation are related – but are felt a bit differently. “G-spot orgasms also overlap with clitoral and vaginal orgasms, as the area known as the G-spot is accessible through the front wall of the vagina and is located in very close proximity to the legs of the clitoris,” says Dr. O’Reilly.

“Both scientific and anecdotal accounts of G-spot orgasms, however, suggest that they are distinct from other experiences of pleasure. Women often report that a G-spot orgasm feels different from a clitoral one, as they experience sensations of bearing down or pushing out with their pelvic floor muscles as opposed to tenting effect from clitoral stimulation.” In fact, research suggests that the brain actually uses different regions for processing each of these feelings.

“Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. Barry Komisaruk discovered that vaginal, cervical and G-spot stimulation activates different parts of the brain via four different nerve pathways that innervate the clitoris, vagina and cervix,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “What is most exceptional about this differentiation is the fact that the Vagus nerve bypasses the spinal cord, allowing even those diagnosed with complete spinal cord injury to experience pleasure and orgasm via the cervix.” So, now you know how it all works, and how it leads to female orgasm. But if the G-spot differs in location from woman to woman, how do you go about finding it?

2. Finding the G-Spot

Locating the G-spot takes teamwork and communication. According to sexologist Megan Stubbs, the best way to find the promised land is by working with your partner to try different methods for hitting it. “It is easiest to find the G-spot through an aroused partner,” says Stubbs. “If your partner is lying on her back, you can insert a finger into her vagina and locate the area. It is commonly found two inches into the vagina and on the anterior wall. Think of trying to touch her belly button from the inside.”

How do you know you’ve hit it? “You should feel a difference in the surrounding tissues. It could feel firmer or more textured than the rest of the vagina. And of course, ask for feedback from your partner, especially if she has had success in finding her own G-spot.” It’s also important to realize that the spot itself is felt through the vagina, but not located within it. “The G-spot is accessible through the upper wall of the vagina (toward the stomach),” explains Dr. O’Reilly. “It’s not inside the vagina, but is felt through the vagina. You can reach down and curl your fingers up against the stomach wall of the vagina (it’s not very deep) to find the G-spot. If you feel an area that is a bit swollen or ridge-like, you’ve likely found it.”

Still having trouble locating it, or making women orgasm once you do? Dr. O’Reilly has a few finger techniques that should not only help hit the spot, but are ideal for G-spot stimulation. “Curl two fingers into the vagina and press them up against the upper wall in a tick-tock motion,” she says. “You can also try curling three fingers into the vagina and pulse them rhythmically against the upper wall. Or, curl two fingers in and pull out against the upper wall in a ‘come hither’ motion.” While you’re trying out each technique, make sure that you’re getting feedback from your lady to see whether or not you’ve found the spot, and if you’re going too hard or soft. Remember, it’s a sensitive spot, so you really only need to be moving in light, delicate motions to do the trick and give her a vaginal orgasm.

What Real Women Say

“I had looked for my G-spot before without much luck,” says Sabrina, 27. “I had pretty much given up on it until my current boyfriend told me he was a (self-proclaimed) G-spot whisperer. After a few eye-rolls I let him have at it. Turns out, he wasn’t kidding. I think one big thing that was different this time was that there was a ton of foreplay involved, so I was totally relaxed and not tensed up the way that I had been during my other unsuccessful attempts at finding this spot. I had also expected this G-spot whispering to be done with his dick – but he used his forefingers instead. It was pretty obvious when he hit it – it felt so much better than anywhere else I had ever touched up there.”

“I found my G-spot when my now-husband had sex with me from behind on our weird shaped couch,” says Erika, 29. “It’s one of those couches that look kind of Victorian, called a ‘fainting’ couch because it’s really small and delicate and looks like it’s not good for much else than that. We had originally gotten it as a housewarming gift and were going to get rid of it — but one night we were going at it and my husband picked me up and moved me onto it so that I was just about hanging over it, with my pelvis propped up. At first he actually hit it too hard and I pulled away. But when he entered me that same way but more slowly and gently, it felt incredible.”

“Having read way, way too many “Cosmo” articles about all of the magic that is finally finding your G-spot, I thought it would be super straightforward to find,” says Christie, 24. “But seriously, not so. I tried the curling your finger thing, no dice. Actually, one of my last attempts was actually kind of painful and uncomfortable. I thought I might have hit it, I didn’t think it should be painful. It wasn’t until one day that I wasn’t thinking about it, and was getting myself off that one of my fingers accidentally made its way there – and I’m so glad it did, because it felt amazing. For guys who are trying to help a girl find her G-spot if she hasn’t found it herself, I think you need to not make it the mission, but stay aware of where you think it might be located – and try to find it when she’s already turned on.”

3. How to Stimulate the G-Spot

When it comes to how you interact with the G-spot, there are definitely some do’s and don’ts you’ll want to follow. Step number one being, make sure that you and your woman are on the same page about her G-spot. “Don’t assume the vagina owner wants their G-spot stimulated, says Bradfield. “For some people it can increase the sensation of wanting to urinate, and this can be uncomfortable.”

Also, make sure you’re not going in there with anything that could cause her vagina pain – this includes trimming your fingernails, folks. “Don’t be too rough!” Stubbs cautions. “If you are going to be attempting this with fingers, make sure your nails are clean and short. Vaginal tissue is very sensitive. It is also imperative you ask for feedback from your partner, especially if exploring her G-spot for the first time. It may take a few times to find a rhythm or pressure your partner enjoys and some women may not like G-spot stimulation at all.” This goes equally for vaginal intercourse.

Dr. O’Reilly recommends getting your woman warmed up beforehand as well. “During stimulation and arousal, the G-spot swells and can be felt more prominently,” Dr. O’Reilly explains, “so work her up a little before going on the hunt – maybe with some oral sex. Many G-spots need to be aroused first before enjoying direct physical contact.” While you’re at it, a little bit of lube can further help your cause. “Use lube for you toy and finger-based play,” she recommends. “Try Astroglide Spark for G-spot play — it blends both water and silicone-based ingredients for long-lasting, slipper play.” Sex toys are a great way to stimulate the g-spot and help her climax, but you’ll almost certainly need lube.

Also, if you can’t find the G-spot or it doesn’t feel good to your partner, giving it a few weeks and then trying again may be to your benefit. “If she doesn’t enjoy G-spot play today, consider trying it again in two weeks,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “Her experiences of pleasure can shift with her menstrual cycle.” The more you know.

You can also vary when you do the stimulating – during intercourse, for example, or even during anal sex. With practice, you’ll be able to make her climax through g-spot stimulation as easily as you give her a clitoral orgasm.

“Be gentle, don’t put pressure on her, and when you do find it, don’t get all finger happy,” says Stephanie, 24. “Finding the G-spot should be an added bonus, and if you don’t find it, the sex you’re having shouldn’t feel like a failed mission. The best thing you can do when you do find it is to be really careful about how you touch it, and ask her how it feels. Don’t just go off vocal cues here – she may not be speaking up because she doesn’t want to thwart your efforts. The best way to stimulate the G-spot is how your partner likes it done. But in order to know how that is, and make her climax, you need to do some work to figure it out.”

RELATED: Try out OMGYES, the online sex tool that’ll help you become an incredible lover

“Any girl will tell you that slowly and gently is the best approach for the G-spot,” says Blair, 25. “Especially if she’s experiencing it for the first time and she’s not sure how to guide you on what you should do to make it feel good. Slow yourself down – if you hit it with your dick honestly it might be too much, and you might need to pull out and go at the area with your fingers first, which is what ended up happening for me. But once she’s used to it, you can ease back in and get back to business.”

4. Sex Positions for Hitting the G-Spot

So, we’ve covered all the ways to reach the G-spot with your fingers. But if you also want to get in on the fun, you’ll be happy to know that there are a handful of sex positions that are ideal for G-spot stimulation as well.

Lovers in Arms

“This position not only creates an intimate connection through full body touch and eye contact, but it is ideal for transitioning from man-on-top to woman-on-top positions during intercourse without missing a beat,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “A shallower reach allows for G-spot stimulation, and the side-by-side set-up means your hands are free to wander and fondle as desired.” To set this up, both parties lie on their sides facing each other. Have her slide her leg on top of your body, and enter her from the front.

“During penetrative sex, as she slides her leg up toward his chest and down toward his feet, the angle of penetration will alter the sensations for both lovers,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “She can also squeeze her legs together for more clitoral stimulation or slide her fingers between their bodies for direct contact.” Want to make it more intense leading up to her climax? “To increase the depth of penetration and skin-on-skin grinding, he can slide his upper leg between her legs allowing her to grind against his pelvic bone,” she recommends. It will take some practice, but the result will be maximum sexual pleasure – and a big boost to your sexual self-esteem. This is one of the most reliable ways to make her orgasm during intercourse.

Reverse Cowgirl

Carlee Ranger

“Many women find that they’re most likely to feel G-spot pressure when they’re on top, as they can adjust the angle of their body to suit their unique needs,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “Try reverse cowgirl with your partner’s legs bent so that you can increase the pressure against your abdomen. You can stimulate the G-spot through the vagina, but you can also stimulate it via pressure against the bladder (through the stomach).”

Positions to Modify

“Any position which gives more shallow penetration that is angled towards the front of the body will work,” says Bradfield. “The head over heels position works well, as it tilts the pelvis upward. Alternately you can put some pillows under your woman’s hips. Doggy style with her upper body raised on the bedhead of some pillows can also help.”

Carlee Ranger

Another thing to keep in mind while you’re having sex with the goal of G-spot stimulation – it won’t lead to orgasm 100% of the time. “It is important to note that many vagina owners (80%) can’t come through vaginal penetration alone,” says Bradfield. “So while stimulating the G-spot might feel good, it may not lead to orgasm.” If this is the case with your lady, Bradfield recommends incorporating the external stimulation of the clit as well, if you want to give her an orgasm during sex.

“The pillow trick always works when I’m trying to get my G-spot involved in whatever position we’re doing,” says Malika, 28. “If you’re in a position where you’re lying on your back, get a pillow or two underneath you so that his penis really hits your front wall. My boyfriend would also want me to tell you that he’s the one who came up with this genius move, not me. Guess he did his homework!’

“Doggy style always does the trick for me,” says Amber, 26. “It’s one of my favorite sexual experiences. I usually move my body through the cow yoga pose while he’s entering me, and he does it very slowly so that he’s not hitting it too hard. The trick is to make sure he’s not thrusting in a way where he’s taking it mostly out of you, but more kind of pulsating in and out in smaller motions, if that makes sense. The climax is intense.”

Carlee Ranger

“My fiancé hit my G-spot for the first time when we were doing it in a spoon position,” says Camie, 25. “We were doing it in a really lazy way, and I was kind of just stretching my body out, and went to stretch downward toward my feet when he pushed into me and hit it. I remember making a sound suddenly that I didn’t think I was capable of making, it just came out!”

5. G-Spot-Friendly Toys to Try

If you haven’t hit the spot yet, it’s a smart move to take a trip to the toy store and find something that’s been engineered to do the trick. And this goes doubly if you have found it, and your woman loves it when you hit that spot. “There are many toys on the market that are designed for G-spot stimulation,” says Kerrin. “Try toys that are firm with a curved and bulbed end to ensure the whole G-spot area is massaged.” If you’re looking for a toy that both of you can benefit from, Dr. O’Reilly suggests throwing a couple’s vibrator into the mix.

We-Vibe Glow/Tango Pleasure Mate Collection

NJoy Pure Wand

“If you’ve already found the spot and know that you like the way having your G-spot touched feels, I’d say take it to the next level with a toy like the NJoy Pure Wand,” says Cassie, 26. “The only reason why I say it’s better for women who have hit the spot already is that it can be a little intimidating since it is big and kind of heavy. But it gets the job done for sure.”
$75.66 at Amazon.com

Swan Wand

“The first sex toy I ever owned was the Swan Wand,” says Kayla, 22. “A friend got it for me as a joke because I had been going through a dry spell – so I didn’t even buy it with finding my G-spot in mind or anything. When I finally did break that spell, I knew exactly where my G-spot was and how to tell my boyfriend to get there thanks to this thing.”
$73.98 at Amazon.com

The G-Spot Stimulator

“If you’re in search of a sex toy to hit the G-spot, don’t think you have to drop a hundred bucks for one that’ll do it for you,” says Carolyn, 27. “Granted, I’m a total Amazon Prime addict, but the one that did it for me was ten bucks off Amazon, from Discreet Sex Products. Reliable, easy to use, gives you all the G-spot ‘ohhhhs’ you could want. More bang for your buck, you know?”
$14.95 at Amazon.com

Finding the G-spot and stimulating it the right way is going to vary from woman to woman – so even if you had some blockbuster moves and a whole road map of how to find it for the last girl you hit the sack with, know that the experience of finding it is going to be different every time – and it should be. But with the right foreplay, some practiced technique, some sex position maneuvering, and maybe even a toy or two, you have everything you need to get you there – and get her off.

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Everything You Need to Know About the G Spot

Orgasms can help reduce stress, improve your skin, and make you feel, well, great. However, for many women, orgasms — especially those achieved through penetration — can be just as elusive as the mysterious G spot.

It’s relatively uncommon for women to orgasm through intercourse alone. In fact, according to a 2017 study, only about 18 percent of women achieve orgasm through penetration alone — meaning no hands, mouth, or toys needed. More often than not, clitoral stimulation is required, or at least beneficial, when it comes to orgasming during sex.

However, even if you haven’t experienced a vaginal orgasm, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Some believe that the G spot may be the key to women achieving orgasm during penetration. But some researchers believe that vaginal orgasms don’t even exist, so it can be difficult to separate fact from fiction.

What is the G spot?

You’ve probably heard of the G spot, along with how it’s the “key” to achieving an earth-shattering vaginal orgasm. But is it real? Honestly, it’s complicated.

Known as the Gräfenberg spot, the G spot was introduced by Dr. Beverly Whipple after she discovered that using a “come here” motion along the inside of the vagina produced a physical response in women. She believed that this region could be the key to women achieving orgasm during sex.

However, it’s important to clarify that the G spot isn’t actually a distinct part of your anatomy. In fact, in a 2017 study, researchers attempted to find the G spot only to come up empty-handed.

Instead of being its own separate spot in your vagina, the G spot is part of your clitoral network. This means that when you’re stimulating the G spot, you’re actually stimulating part of the clitoris, which is much larger than we’re led to believe. Turns out, the pea-sized nub where the inner labia meet is actually only the tip of the clitoris and divides into two “roots” that can be about four inches long.

Plus, this region can vary from woman to woman which explains why it can often be difficult to locate. However, once it’s stimulated, the G spot can cause female ejaculation (yes, it’s real) and help women reach vaginal orgasm.

How can you find it?

Finding the G spot can be difficult, especially since it’s not actually on any map of the human body. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Instead of searching for it during partnered sexual activity, it’s easier to locate the G spot through self-exploration.

If you’re looking to find your G spot, start by relaxing. As you begin to explore your body, do what feels best to you. When you’re ready, begin massaging the opening to your vagina before inserting your fingers or a sex toy.

Then, using your fingers or a toy, lift upward toward your belly button in a “come hither” motion. Remember, you’re not trying to hit a specific button but rather finding what feels best for you in that general region. Repeat the motion as the sensation builds, and — instead of an in-and-out movement — you’ll want to keep focusing your attention on this area.

Like other erogenous zones, preferences can vary from person to person. In fact, a 2016 review emphasized that orgasms are not one-size-fits-all, so there’s no right or wrong way to orgasm.

Not all women will find satisfaction through G spot stimulation, and that’s fine too. Remember that masturbation is completely normal and it can be a healthy part of any relationship. By taking time to explore your own preferences, you can use that information to instruct your partner on what you enjoy most during sex.

The best sex positions to stimulate the G spot

If you’re hoping to experience G spot stimulation during sexual intercourse, there are certain sex positions that work best. Try positions that allow you a little more control over your movements so you can figure out what types of stimulation you enjoy most. While there are many sex positions that can help you achieve this, here are three to try.

Cowgirl

Have your partner lay on their back, then climb on top and straddle them. This position allows you complete control over the rhythm, depth, and angle of penetration so you can focus on finding your G spot.

Instead of bobbing up and down, try moving back and forth to stimulate the G spot region against your inner vaginal wall. Mixing it up can help as well, so don’t be afraid to experiment with different speeds and angles.

Doggy style

Doggy style is another great way to achieve deeper penetration during sex. It’s easy to vary the angle to hit your G spot.

Start on your hands and knees with your partner behind you. During penetration, try leaning down on your forearms or pushing your hips backward to change the angle until you find the position that works best for you. If you’d like, you can try a different variation by lying flat on your stomach with your legs hanging off the edge of the bed, allowing your partner to stand behind you and penetrate from there.

Closed missionary position

A variation on the classic missionary position, this position allows for greater stimulation without the depth of penetration. You’ll start off on your back in missionary position before moving your legs together. Then, your partner’s legs should straddle yours, allowing a tighter squeeze. While this shallow penetration that might not hit as deep, it does create a tighter feeling — and more increased friction against your G spot — which might be the perfect way to help you reach orgasm.

Find what works for you

Despite what you might see in movies, sex isn’t always quick and easy. Women are often led to believe that sex is shameful, which can make it harder to achieve orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

Don’t be afraid to take charge of your sex life and find what you like. If that means you’re able to find your G spot and rock it, good for you. If not? That’s great too. There’s no rule that says there’s one way to orgasm, and — for most women — it’s normal to prefer a combination of efforts. Finding what works for you can take time, so be patient.

The most important thing is that you’re satisfied. Exploring your body and your sexual preferences is a great step in making sure you have a happy, safe, and pleasurable sex life. You should never feel ashamed of figuring out what you like. After all, everyone deserves to have great sex.

The G-spot in sex lore is a mythical spot in the front wall of the vagina that supposedly drives women wild, like a fifth gear or remote control (or both) for orgasms. In popular culture it is described as a gland; however, there is no hidden gland or structure here.

The G-spot was named after Dr. Ernst Graffenburg who supposedly identified it in 1950. Except he didn’t. What his research paper described was a pleasure zone in the front of the vagina that was intimate with the urethra and lower portion of the bladder — meaning the body and root of the clitoris. There is no secret, hidden gland or structure here.

How easy it is to access the clitoris via stimulating the lower vagina will vary from woman to woman as we are all built differently. If stimulating this area doesn’t work for you, that’s O.K.

The G-spot is an incorrect attempt at oversimplification of female sexual anatomy and it is best to do away with the term. It serves no one and in fact leaves many women to feel deficient when they can’t find their “G-spot.”

The clitoris is much larger than you see (the visible part is the glans) so exploring the lower vagina, around the urethra and the labia (lips) can bring a lot of additional clitoral stimulation.

Source: iStockPhoto/volkovslava, used with permission, G-spot

Is the G-spot real? The evidence is a bit mysterious because the “spot” doesn’t appear to be a distinct structure, but, rather, a cluster of nerves and tissue that engorges or changes in sensation when aroused. And not all women feel it. Some women feel extreme pleasure when the spot is stimulated, but others … not a thing.

Here are six things to know about this sexy erogenous zone:

Where is it? The G-spot is on the roof of the vagina at about 12 o’clock when the woman is lying on her back. It is about 2.5-3 inches in the vagina, directly below her urethra. The angle for self-exploration is essentially backwards for the woman so the location makes it nearly impossible to discover the spot with her own fingers.

Does every woman have it? Essentially, yes. But the degree of sexual sensation in the spot varies widely from woman to woman and can vary even within the same woman depending on the timing of arousal, time of day, time of month and season of life.

Best technique to touch it. Fingers provide the best access. If you are firmly but gently using a “come-hither” curl to your stroke you might feel a slight increase in firmness about the size of a quarter.

How do I know I’m touching the right spot? Some lovers report that they can’t feel any tissue differential with their fingers. Your female partner may report a delightful sensation guiding you to the correct area. Or she may say that she feels the need to urinate – this means you are at the right spot but at the wrong time. She will need considerably more general arousal before her body will translate this same touch as sexually pleasurable.

Can intercourse provide G-spot stimulation? Yes, and certain positions bring the penis into contact with the G-spot more than others. Two ways to try: 1) woman lying on her back with her legs curled up tilts her pelvis, or 2) woman on top at a 45-degree angle. Both positions are also more likely to cause a vaginal-contact orgasm.

What if I (the woman) don’t feel anything? Ask for stimulation immediately prior to orgasm. You might also try a G-spot stimulator sex toy to see if you can find it on your own in a no-pressure environment.

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