Turn offs for women

Contents

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

Unsplash, Dimitar Belchev

1. Men that are always bragging about how strong they are, how much they can lift, and how often they visit the gym.

2. Men that wear the same exact shirt every single day.

3. Men that can’t form a complete sentence without throwing a curse word into it.

4. Men that are overly attached to their mothers.

5. Men that are unemployed and have no interest in trying to find a job.

6. Men that turn every single conversation into a sexual one.

7. Men that pressure their partners into sex.

8. Men that use too much tongue and get too handsy during a first kiss.

9. Men that refuse to text first.

10. Men that ‘like’ every Instagram photo they see of a woman in a bikini.

11. Men that aren’t able to enjoy themselves, unless they’re completely wasted.

12. Men that play the victim whenever they don’t get their way.

13. Men that spray on way too much cologne before leaving the house.

14. Men that glance down at their phone when someone else is speaking.

15. Men that ask for your Snapchat before they ask for your phone number.

16. Men that are always bragging about how expensive their car is and about how they own the newest iPhone.

17. Men that still believe in gender roles.

18. Men that can’t go an hour without mentioning their ex.

19. Men that lie to get into someone’s pants.

20. Men that won’t put in the effort to plan out a date or even send a cute text message.

21. Men that don’t take their underwear off during sex.

22. Men that flirt with every waitress and bartender that speaks to them.

23. Men that don’t keep themselves clean below the belt.

24. Men that hate animals.

25. Men that refuse to admit that they actually liked Mean Girls, The Notebook, or any other movie ‘made for a woman.’

26. Men that pretend they know more than you, even when they’re completely clueless about a certain topic.

27. Men that purposely burp and fart around you, even though you’ve just met and haven’t reached that comfortable stage yet.

28. Men that body-shame or slut-shame women.

29. Men that stop to fix their hair every five seconds.

30. Men that lead women on, and then blame them for developing feelings.

31. Men that claim that wearing makeup is “false advertisement.”

32. Men that send dick pics without warning.

33. Men that treat women like their toys instead of like their equals.

7 Big Things that Turn Women Off [From Her]

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via: Pexels /

Almost every guy has been there:

You start a date (with your wife, girlfriend, or someone new), and everything seems to be going well. But somehow by the end, she seems… uninterested.

…Or maybe you even finish the date thinking it went perfectly, but she doesn’t answer your calls/texts again (if you were with someone new) or, when you get home, she seems distant, even angry (if you were with your girlfriend/wife).

And that’s when you start thinking:

“What the hell happened? I looked good, I picked a great place for dinner, the conversation was great… did I somehow turn her off?!”

Unfortunately guys, the answer is probably yes… and here’s why:

There are a handful of specific things that most men unknowingly do, that women hate and that instantly turn them off.

…And I’m going to strongly assume that you don’t want your woman to be turned off, right?

So… to help you avoid this, I’m going to give you an inside look into the female mind and show you 7 things that women hate, that instantly turn them off, and that you never want to do.

7 Surprising Things that Turn Women Off

Guys… here’s the thing:

Most women won’t openly tell you that you’re turning them off… but if you are doing any one of these 7 things (on your first date or with your lifetime partner), your girl desperately wants you to stop:

7. Having a Bed That Looks… Well, Gross

via: Unsplash / Sylvie Tittel

Let me ask you a question:

Would you want to get into a girl’s bed if you saw that her sheets were worn, holey, and seemingly dirty?

Of course not, and guys… neither does she. She doesn’t want the sheets of a sloppy teenager… she wants to see the sheets of a grown man.

…So instead of turning her off with your sheets, make your bed something she’s excited to get into by getting the sheets she wants:

Rule #1: Get sheets with an adult style. Adult style means sheets with neutral colors (like these) and/or subtle pattern (like these), and not crazy prints or black (black makes it impossible to see stains… and makes her think you’re hiding them).

Rule #2: Incredible comfort. She wants soft, cool sheets. Under the covers with you can get pretty warm, so get mostly cotton sheets to keep her cool.

Rule #3: Clean freshness. You’ve got adult sheets now, so you better keep them clean and fresh-smelling (her nose is more powerful than yours source so even if you think your sheets smell good, wash them just to be safe).

Make sense?

If your sheets follow these 3 rules, not only will your sheets not turn her off, but you’ll also have a bed that she’ll look forward to jumping into.

Note from the Editor, Kyle:

What sheets do I recommend?

The Luxe Core Sheets Set from Brooklinen. Brooklinen sent me a set of theses sheets a couple months back, and guys… for the short time I’ve had them, I’ve never been more excited to get into bed.

They’re by far the most comfortable sheets (rule #2) I’ve ever owned (they’re made with a special long-staple cotton/percale weave to make them light, breathable, and, above all, ridiculously comfortable). And maybe even better, their sheets have the classically manly/adult style you need (rule #1), without being boring or bland (my new sheets (here’s the ones I got) have turned my bed into the best looking part of my bedroom).

And after trying their crazy comfortable sheets, we decided to partner with Brooklinen to get you guys a big (but limited-time) discount with code ‘Mantelligence’. I’m not sure how long this deal will last… so upgrade your bedding with this big discount while you still can.

6. Being Cheap… When You Don’t Have to Be

via: / belchonock

Guys… I want to be very clear here:

‘Being cheap’ is not the same as ‘saving money’. Women completely understand if you can’t do fancy dinners/dates more than a couple times a year (and chances are she’ll love any good free dates you take her on).

But on the other hand… being ‘cheap’ is being overly and unnecessarily concerned with money, and letting your date know about it.

Here are some real-life examples of what a ‘cheap’ guy will do:

#1: Order the cheapest thing on the menu, and make a joke if his date orders something more expensive. Even if you’re kidding, this makes her feel hugely unappreciated.

#2: Ask to split the bill, when he’s the one who asked her out. Look, ‘don’t go Dutch’ is a core rule of manliness… if you ask her out, you pay. It’s just polite.

#3: Bring a bottle of wine to a party, and take the leftover wine home. I’m not even going to explain this one…

With these, the difference between ‘being cheap’ and ‘saving money’ makes sense, right? Here’s the bottom line:

It’s perfectly ok to be frugal, but (until you’re a serious couple) don’t mention money problems, complain about how much things cost, or ask your date to pay for things.

5. Wearing a Torn-Up, Ratty Belt

via: / jieophotoo

When you go on a date, you wouldn’t wear a t-shirt that was baggy, holey, or stained… or shoes with your toes poking out of the front, would you?

Of course not… so why would you continue to wear a belt that’s stretched, scored, marked, or otherwise sloppy?

And I know you’re probably thinking, ‘how do women even notice this?‘

Well, to a lot of guys, the only purpose of their belt is to hold their pants up… but to us, it’s one of the two accessories that every guy should be wearing (belt + watch). So… not only do we look for it, but if one of two (or half) of your accessories look bad, you look bad.

And really, think about it:

Can you imagine James Bond walking up to a beautiful woman wearing the belt above? What about our president wearing it as he meets with the world’s leaders?

Both are almost painful to imagine, right? Guys… here’s the bottom line:

You have two chances to impress us with your accessories… don’t throw one away by wearing an old tattered belt.

A Note from the Editor, Kyle:

It seems like all belts inevitably end up like the one above, right? So how can you stop your belts from becoming a worn-down mess?

Modernize your belt with the holeless belt from Anson Belt & Buckle. Instead of a traditional belt’s 5 holes (set 1 inch apart)… Anson’s holeless belt has 30+ options (spaced 1/4 inch apart). In other words: it has 6x the hole options and has them 4x more frequently than a traditional belt. Here’s what it looks like (back and front):

via: Anson Belt & Buckle

via: Anson Belt & Buckle

These ‘microadjustments’ are a small but powerful advancement. With them, your belt is dramatically more comfortable (as your belt uniquely fits your waist), your belt won’t become a cracked, disheveled mess (there’s no holes to become cracked/disheveled), and your belt will always fit you perfectly (even as your waist grows and shrinks).

Last February I met Frank and David (the father-son team who runs Anson), and the two hooked me up with a few of their holeless belts to try. After having it on for 5 minutes, I asked myself, ‘this is so much better… how did I ever wear any other type of belt?’

Guys… if you want a better belt, I highly recommend you give Anson’s holeless belt a try (and ps: they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee… so why wouldn’t you try it?)

4. Having A Bad (Or Overpowering) Scent

via: / elwynn

In a recent survey of almost 900 women, 87% said that they’re completely turned off by a date with bad BO. source

Now… I know what you’re probably thinking:

“There’s no way I’m that guy. I shower, brush my teeth, and even spray cologne before I go on a date. I can skip this step.”

But here’s the big thing most men don’t realize:
Your girl’s sense of smell is way more powerful than your own. source And studies even show that when men think they’ve covered up a bad odor (with extra cologne or deodorant)… she can often still smell it. source

In other words:

Her powerful nose picks up nuances of scent that you can’t even detect… and when it does, her only thought is “I don’t want to touch this guy!”

But don’t freak out:

Smelling good enough for her powerful nose is actually incredibly easy… and here are some of the easiest, girl-approved ways to do it:

Step #1: Use antiperspirant, instead of just deodorant. Deodorant only attempts to block bad odors… while antiperspirant stops the sweating altogether.

Step #2: Brush your teeth well every day, instead of just intensely brushing right before a date. Bad breath germs can live in your mouth/throat and can even grow source… so wipe them out regularly by brushing on a schedule.

Step #3: Choose the right cologne (and use a max of two sprays). Some cologne types are more powerful than others, so get one that’s long-lasting, and tone down the amount of sprays (one spray on both your chest and neck are ideal).

Now:

While that might seem like overkill… remember that not only is her nose more powerful than yours, but also, almost 9/10 women will be completely turned off if you have bad BO.

3. Accidentally Making Yourself the Focus of the Date

via: / bernardbodo

A lot of guys don’t realize that they’re accidentally being too focused on themselves on a date.

And really… it’s pretty easy to do:

You might be nervous… you may be worried there will be an awkward silence… you may just be distracted by work or a game… but no matter the reason, focusing on yourself is a huge turn-off.

So on any date (your 1st or 100th date)… consciously focus on her. Learn about her life, ask about her day/work/passion, be proud if she accomplished something and/or console her when she’s sad.

To us, that’s one of the biggest ways a man can be a gentleman… and it’s a huge turn-on.

2. Wearing Un-Stylish Shoes

via: / start08

Un-stylish shoes are the one thing that almost every woman brings up in conversations about their biggest turn-offs.

But… why do they care so much?

Well, the exact reasons vary from girl to girl, but there are generally two main reasons:

  1. She knows almost any well-fitted shirt/pants will look good on a fit man, but that you actually have to have a sense of style to know what shoes look good (basically, you can’t skate on good looks with shoes).
  2. Your shoes are one of the final touches you put on your outfit. And if you care enough about the final touches like your shoes and your belt (#5 above), it means you’re a man who cares enough to pay attention to detail.

Now… what kind of shoes do women want you to wear on dates?

Honestly, as long as they’re not flip-flops, sandals or gym shoes, they can be any shoes in good condition (as you can probably guess, ratty shoes are just as bad as ratty belts).

…And if you want specific recommendations, it’s hard to go wrong with clean Converse (like these), manly chukkas (like these), or stylish Oxfords (like these).

1. Being ‘Too Open’ (About Money, About Your Past, About Your Family Troubles)

via: Unsplash / Stefano Intintoli

Guys, read this one carefully, because it’s tricky:

There’s a distinct line (a timeline, actually) between being expressive (what girls want) and being too informative (what they don’t want). Being expressive means telling her that you like her, being honest when something’s bothering you, etc.

…but being too informative means talking about things that are way too personal/serious too soon (when she’s not ready to hear them… like the first few dates).

Make sense? Here’s a general timeline of when to open up about certain topics:

Goals and dreams: First date. Be sure to keep it positive this early on.

Your past struggles (excluding exes): When she’s your girlfriend. She wants to help you become a better man, so you can let her help by sharing your past struggles.

Your family troubles: After she’s met the family. Don’t overwhelm her with your family’s issues, then make her meet them and have to pretend she doesn’t know anything.

Money problems: When you move in together. Until then, it’s not her problem. You can tell her ‘I’m broke this week’, but don’t put the weight of that problem on her.

Ex-girlfriends: Only once she asks! If she doesn’t ask, she probably doesn’t want to know.

In Conclusion

Guys… you obviously don’t want your woman to be turned off.

…And while this list doesn’t have all the things that turn women off, these 7 are some of the bigger ones… avoid them and you’ll avoid 7 of the things that they hate the most, and that instantly turn the majority of women off.

When a group of women get together to talk, catch up, hang out, whatever you want to call it, some pretty brutally honest things get said.

The filters get thrown out the window, and women are honest with each other and themselves about what they do and don’t want.

Some people might call it bitchy and/or gossiping, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And it’s just a safe space where women can converse with other women on topics — such as men.

And one of the things that I think men need to be privy to is some of this inside talk that happens between women.

And what turns them off, and I’m not going to give you a list of physical qualities, such as hygiene and what not. No, these have more to do with gaining an understanding of women and how they think and function.

These are ways to understand a woman better.

What makes her tick, what makes her feel good and want to be around you and what turns her off and feel unappreciated.

If you can grasp a couple of these things, you will be one of the most attractive men because you get women and what they want/need. It’s almost like learning a new language, but not quite as difficult and a lot more fun and rewarding.

So without further ado, let’s get into 4 things that turn women off that men should stop doing:

1. Being Negative

Okay, the first thing that turns women off is if you’re negative, that is, if you’re negative about yourself, your apartment, your family, friends, your job, etc. Basically, if you’re a negative Neville, chances are you’re turning off women wherever you go. What does it say about you when you are saying things like, “Oh no, my job isn’t that cool. I’m just paying the bills waiting for something better to come along.”

This kind of attitude suggests that you sit on your couch and that you let your life pass you by waiting for things to happen to you as opposed to going out and making the things that you want happen.

Negativity, in any capacity, is a turn off. It’s a sign of insecurity and unhappiness within yourself and your life. It doesn’t make for good company.

Because men and women communicate in such different ways, we date and pay attention to different actions and reactions, and what I mean by this is that what might seem silly or unimportant to you, is sometimes very important to women, and often times even a deal breaker.

2. Distracted

Another big turn off for girls is if you’re overly distracted when talking to her. If you unknowingly ignore her or tune out of the conversation, a woman can tell.

Another big red flag when you’re dating is if someone is on their phone a lot during a date. Maybe it’s your friend asking how the date is going, maybe it’s your work, but communicate that to her.

And definitely do not check other women out. Nothing says, “I’m a sketch ball” quite like checking other women out in front of your date.

When a man is focused on the woman with whom he is speaking, she feels important, thus she feels good about herself being around you, which will make her want to be around you even more, and this is a win for you.

So if you don’t want to turn a woman off, don’t be distracted by the goings on around you. Focus on her and the moment.

3. Rude

This is a pretty simple one, and I think a well-known turn off to women, but just in case you needed a refresher, this turn off is rudeness. Being rude to anyone, a bartender, a waitress, a ticket concierge, any stranger that you encounter along your way if you’re on a date with a woman – of this she takes note.

This kind of behavior turns women off because if you can be rude to a complete stranger and have no remorse, what’s to say you won’t be rude to your date?

Being rude turns women off because being rude kills the mood. Regardless if you were trying to be funny, be funny in such a way that your jokes don’t need to bring other people down in order to get a laugh. That is not sexy to a woman. That doesn’t make her feel like ripping off all of her clothes and jumping into bed with you. No, it makes her want to jump out of a moving car to get away from you.

Okay, that was extreme, but do you see what I mean here? Be nice to people.

Someone who is engaging with everyone that he encounters is highly attractive to women. If you hold the door open for the elderly, um swoon! Women love chivalrous actions like that. So remember to be kind because that sets the mood for the date, and you want to have a happy, flirtatious one, not a icky, feeling bad mood.

4. Selfish in Bed

Being a selfish lover is a huge turn off for women. THE BEST WAY to make a woman want to be around you is to compliment her in bed. Tell her she looks beautiful. This will make her feel good about herself and will, in turn, make her want to spend more time with you. As opposed to you just pushing her face into a pillow, doing your business, and then leaving. Nothing says get off of me like having your face smashed into a pillow by the guy that you like.

I’m not condemning all men for this, but sex and good sex, is not something that is taught in schools.

Women are not taught to speak up for what they want in bed and/or to explore what they do like. Hence, why most women fake orgasms to get it over with. And I don’t blame men for this either, because I believe that you, too, are not trained to ask a woman what she wants and/or likes sexually.

Thus, we have a miscommunication among the sexes. That is alright, because you can overcome this quite easily. Being a giving lover is one of the best ways to keep a woman interested in you.

Do your research, and by research I don’t mean watch porn. Porn won’t help you here. But books and learning materials online will all help you learn to please a woman and keep her coming back for more. Also, don’t be afraid to ask her what she likes, what turns her on. Women are different and so are the things that turn them on.

These are by no means the only things that turn women off, but they are some of the most important and common ones. So take your time to read these over, and see if there are any areas upon which you, yourself, could improve.

Kate Spring

Kate Spring is a men’s dating & attraction coach from Vancouver, Canada. A recognized leader in helping men become irresistible to women, Kate works with clients from around the world, helping them to get the girl they want, and the relationship they deserve. Kate is the best-selling author of The Obsession Method, an award-winning attraction-building program. She also runs a popular men’s dating advice channel on YouTube, with over 125,000 subscribers and nearly 15 million views to date.

1. Too much too soon.

@ele_wanderlust2.0

“I love knowing when a guy’s into me, and when it’s clear and there’s no confusion about whether we’re ‘talking’ or ‘dating’ or ‘together’ or whatever the hell label we use today. But what honestly turns me off more than anything is when a guy goes from 0 to 100 reallll quick.

If we’re just starting to get to know each other, you shouldn’t be showing up at my apartment, trying to stay the night every single night. If you hardly know me and we aren’t even close to being boyfriend/girlfriend, you shouldn’t be telling your friends that we are. And the biggest one: if we just met YOU SHOULD NOT BE MENTIONING ANYTHING RELATED TO LOVE. That’s actually straight creepy. Take it slow, guys. Too much too soon is a no-no.”

— Abbie, 26

2. Talking without listening.

“There’s nothing worse than going on a date with or dating a man who doesn’t listen. Feeling ignored or feeling like what you say isn’t important, especially early on, is a HUGE turnoff. I want to feel like the man I’m with actually gives a sh*t about what I have to say, otherwise I’d just talk to my dog. Haha.”

— Quincey, 21

3. Gross bodily functions before we’re comfortable.

“I have no problem with burping, farting, nose-blowing, whatever. It’s normal and we all do it. But if it’s our first date and you’re belching across the table? Nope. Not into it.”

— Eileen, 31

4. Disrespect in any way, shape, or form.

“This is my non-negotiable: disrespect. You might think it’s funny to make a sexist comment about girls not knowing how to workout at the gym. You might think it’s hilarious to poke fun at our waiter for tripping on the rug. News flash! It’s not.

Honestly, I don’t care what it is, if you disrespect anyone, or disrespect me, you’re cut off. That’s a huge turnoff for me, and plus, it makes you look like a total a**hole.”

— Callie, 27

5. Acting like a know-it-all.

“We get it. You know your sh*t. But you don’t know everything, so don’t sit there and try to impress us by acting like you do.”

— Ren, 25

6. Trying to sleep with me on the first night.

“Unless this is a pre-established hookup, one-night-stand, or Tinder date, then it really turns me off when a guy tries to sleep with me right away. I’m pretty clear about my intentions from the get-go, and I tell guys that I’m not into the whole ‘hit it and quit it’ thing…so I feel like it’s pretty reasonable to get mad when you try to get with me after I just said I don’t want to do that. TURN OFF.”

— Kylie, 29

7. Expecting me to pay on the first date.

“Call me whatever the hell you want—bitch, snob, cheap I don’t care, but if I’m on a first date with a guy and he makes me pay? Done. It’s a first date and as a man you’re supposed to. Sorry not sorry.”

— Tamara, 26

8. Laziness.

“My total turn-off is laziness. Not having any initiative, not being interested in anything, no passion. Those are all just things that make me instantly un-attracted to a guy.”

— Jamie, 40

9. Making it the ‘you’ show.

“Nothing is worse than being with a dude who’s too self-absorbed to even notice you exist.”

— Jenn, 19

10. Sending mixed signals.

“I hate when guys are hot and cold. One day we’re up talking all night and the next you don’t text me back? Not only is that annoying, but it’s a total turn-off. Either you’re in or you’re out.”

— Krysti, 24

11. Not following through.

“One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a guy that lacks effort. If he says he’ll call me and then doesn’t, or says he’ll pick me up at 8PM and comes thirty minutes late, I’m instantly less attracted to him. Especially when you’re first getting to know someone, I really think it’s so important to follow through with what you say. Guys that don’t, or guys that act indifferent just really turn me off.”

— Renee, 28

Women’s Biggest Turnoffs

Top 10 Turn Offs For Women That You Want To Avoid

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Note from the editor, Kyle: Big thanks to Tani Underwear for partnering with us to make this post/video possible. Tani Underwear is the most comfortable men’s underwear on the market. If you’re looking for underwear… that will change the way you think and feel about underwear, I highly recommend it.

Today, we’re showing you the top 10 turn offs for women, that you NEED to avoid.

If you’ve done everything right with a girl, there will come a point where it seems like you can do no wrong. Where it seems like no matter what you do, she’s going to like anything that you’re about.

But guys, even when things are going good, especially when they’re going good, there are plenty of seemingly harmless, everyday things you can do that either slowly get under a woman’s skin and make her lose interest, or just kill the chemistry in the blink of an eye.

10 Turn Offs For Women That You Want To Avoid

So… to help you out, we’re showing you the 10 biggest turn offs for women guys do that tend to slip through the cracks.

…And because we want you to know how to take your game to the next level, we’re also showing you the #1 thing you can easily do, to almost completely avoid turning a girl off.

Now let’s jump in.

Here are 10 turn offs for women that you want to avoid:

10. Low Volume Facial Hair

One of the biggest understatements of the year here… facial hair has made a pretty big comeback.

For a while (as in, for a few decades), being clean cut and shaven was more or less the norm. But these days, facial hair is everywhere. As soon as a guy can grow it, BOOM. No going back.

Full beards, five o’clock shadows, mustaches, mutton chops. If it grows on the face, guys are trying it out.

Nobody really knows what led to bearded revolution over the last decade or so, but there is one unfortunate side effect: A lot of guys are going for beards, when it’s just not in the cards for them.

We know, facial hair is cool… and even if you don’t want it most of the time, it’s nice to have the option.

While, of course, your facial hair your choice… when it comes to turning on girls, patchy facial hair typically doesn’t do it for them… and almost always, they’re gonna prefer a clean-shaven face to get close to.

9. Greasy Hair

Alright alright alright.

You’re probably hearing this and thinking, wait a minute, I KNOW I’ve seen guys with greasy hair get girls, so how are you gonna tell me greasy hair is a turn-off?

Alright, true. But what you might think is hair grease, is actually hair product. And if it’s product, yeah… It’s probably part of their style. But what we’re talking about today, is about the naturally occurring grease that builds up on your hair after not showering.

For some dudes, that grease may show up after a couple days without washing their hair… for others, it might show up after a couple hours. Like sweat and body odor, hair grease is largely genetic, and unfortunately… is something girls will notice when they’re looking at you closely.

8. Ratty Underwear

This one should go without saying.

…But our reports show that a surprisingly high number of guys out there… appear to be pushing their underwear to the limit… and girls are noticing.

For some reason, a lot of guys seem to have the impression that girls won’t catch that pair of ratty old boxers they’ve got on. It’s either because guys think their underwear isn’t all that bad, or because they think girls just don’t care.

Either way, your underwear matters.

You may even know today’s video sponsor, Tani Underwear. Super high-quality and universally girl approved Tani has designed underwear that solves the problems plaguing your underwear drawer and how girls look at your chonies…

Now… instead of showing you a bunch of dudes in underwear (which we’re sure you’d love), how about we show how the right type of underwear, like Tani, keeps girls from ever being turned off by the sight of your boxers.

Reason #1: Breathability

When it comes to your underwear, breathability is everything.

The reason why? Because moisture is not only what causes gross stuff like odor and fungus. But it’s also ultimately what causes boxers to dissolve into the shreds on your floor. And not only that, swamp-ass, as it’s officially called, is the result of underwear that offers no breathability in an area that produces a lot of sweat, and for girls who see it on a guy, it can be pretty hard to ignore.

By using Micro Modal AIR, a futuristic fabric that’s both moisture wicking and quick drying, Tani’s SilkCut Collection manages to keep the moisture levels to a minimum and the infamous swamp-butt at bay.

Reason #2: Accentuation

Do you like when a girl wears sexy, attractive lingerie?

Of course you do, and women want the same. She wants to see something that’s naturally accentuating and attractive. Rather than saggy underwear that looks like you’re wearing a cloth diaper.

High-quality underwear, like Tani, are designed to not only make you and your body look attractive. But they’re also manufactured with special materials, like elastane and Micro Modal Air, so that they last longer, and help hold their shape for longer.

In short guys:

your underwear is probably the last thing a girl sees you wearing, so it definitely needs to make the right impression… and today’s video sponsor, Tani is the exact type of underwear women love.

Tani was even kind enough to hook Mantelligence viewers up with a crazy deal: buy 1 get 1 free! Check it out in the description… and note: it will only work for a limited-time.

7. The Wrong Thing Playing in the Background

In general, one of the major differences between guys and girls, is that context plays a huge role in their attraction, and overall interest in guys.

If this sounds surprising, this phenomenon is pretty well-documented and understood in psychology. While women do like guys who are classically good-looking and well-taken care of, the overall presentation of the guy plays a much bigger role in how girls perceive him.

And that also includes the immediate context of being in the moment with a guy.

One of the places this becomes especially clear, is if you’re hanging out with a girl at your house watching a movie or show. If you’ve got comedy, horror, action or anything too distracting playing in the background, it’s gonna be a lot harder for her to look at you romantically, if anything starts to happen… the reason why is simple:

Because your entire presentation is off.

Which make sense, right? All we’re trying to say, is that if you’re watching a movie on the couch together, always be ready to hit pause.

6. Smelling Like a Gym Bag

You knew this one was coming.

Just about everybody, from AlphaM, to TMF to BasedZeus, has discussed widely the importance of not smelling like an armpit. And the reason for that, is because far and away, a guy who smells bad from a distance, is a HUGE red flag for women.

Now, there are some excuses that girls will let slide: You could have just gotten done working out, you could have been helping a friend move all day, or you could be a sailor returning home from sea.

Basically, if you’ve been engaged in heavy physical activity, you’ll probably get a pass. At least the first few times.

However, if you’re caught repeatedly stinking for no reason, don’t be surprised if she starts asking you to shower before coming over.

5. All Grooming All The Time

Alright. So you guys know that we always advocate proper grooming, taking care of yourself, knowing how to dress and that it’s always a safe bet to look after your appearance.

…But we also know… that with the sheer volume of information, opinion and choices as there is out there, it’s incredibly easy to get carried away in the details and get obsessed with looking good.

While your girl does want you to be able to look good, if you’re taking longer to decide what to wear than she is every day, your impeccable style is probably having the opposite effect of what you want.

4. Disgusting Nails

So, you may not think this is a big deal but a girl almost definitely notices how your nails are looking.

…And even though you probably (hopefully) don’t roll around with finger nails that can take an eye out, they are 100% a detail worth keeping in check. And it’s pretty clear to see why they might be one of the major turn offs for women:

They look crazy, they hide bacteria, and worst of all, they scratch.

Now… you may not have had the misfortune of accidentally scratching a girl with finger or toe nails that are overdue for a trimming… but take our word for it: It’s embarrassing.

And as far as your night goes, there’s basically no coming back from that. While long, unsightly nails are an eyesore for sure, there may be nothing that kills the mood so swiftly as accidentally snagging your girl with a toenail that’s too long.

3. Why So Serious?

Here’s a common scenario:

Imagine you’ve been hanging out with a girl all night and while things may have started off alright, they slowly faded until it seems like she’s just kinda ready to go home. As I’m sure you can imagine.

This is something that happens a lot. And while there are endless reasons why a date can fizzle out, one of the most common reasons, is just because the guy didn’t look like he was having any fun.

Girls are magnetized by fun.

So, if a guy doesn’t seem like he’s enjoying himself, a girl’s most likely not gonna want to hang out for too long. Because like you, like your friends, like anyone else… girls need that feedback to let them know that everything is cool.

So… if you’re hanging out with a girl, and wondering why she doesn’t seem to be enjoying herself, there’s a good chance, that it’s probably because you’re just not smiling enough for her to know.

2. Failing to Mirror Body Language

Just like you’re wired to respond to what she’s throwing your way, she’s gonna respond to what you’re sending hers.

You’ve probably heard us talk about “mirroring” before. Basically, the mirroring we’re talking about is where two people are communicating, while also subtly copying each other’s body language.

Mirroring happens almost entirely on an instinctive level, and it’s a way of subconsciously building familiarity. Animals do it, and so do we. But even though it happens with us barely evening noticing it… it still has a huge effect on chemistry.

So much so, in fact, that if you’re not mirroring a girl’s body language… she’ll have every reason to think you’re not into her, which will lead to her turning off feelings she has for you.

1. Your Teeth

If there’s one thing, one loose end, one last remaining detail that can come back and bite you just as you’ve got a girl comfortable, it’s yellow teeth.

Honestly, this one stings a little bit. Because usually the way a girl finds out a guy has yellow teeth, is if the guy is laughing, smiling and having a good time. It’s a harsh reality.

It’s always in that moment when a dude finally decides to let his guard down and relax, that a girl notices “damn, those teeth are just a little on the yellow side.”

The good news is that, with all the teeth whitening options out there, yellow teeth don’t need to be something you’ve got to worry about.

The bad news is that if you’re just finding this out, you might’ve lost a few points with a few girls already.

The #1 Thing You Can Do to Prevent Turning OFF ALL women

By this point, you might be thinking you’re gonna be walking into a minefield the next time you go hang out with your girl.

…And while it’s remarkably easy to lose favor with a girl you like and take her from feeling it, to turned off, there is one thing you can do everyday to always have a leg up with a girl, get in shape. Seriously.

Now we know, this isn’t as easy for some guys as it is for others, but for a lot of guys out there. A ton of their problems would be solved just by getting strong.

The reason why? Honestly, it’s NOT that you’ll look better. It’s not that you’ll be stronger.

It’s almost 100% due to the fact that exercise is guaranteed the clearest path to becoming a fundamentally more confident version of yourself. Which is without a doubt the #1 realest turn on for women anywhere you go.

If you enjoyed this video, be sure to let us know, and give it a thumbs up and don’t forget to click and subscribe.

And while you’re here, why not check out these other powerful videos?

Thanks for watching!

51 of the biggest turn-offs for young, single women in Charlotte | Charlotte Observer

New people move to Charlotte — and into its dating pond — almost every single day. In 2016, Charlotte grew more quickly than all but 10 cities in the U.S., adding nearly 15,656 residents. The greatest concentration of incoming people have been between the ages of 18 and 34 years.

More often than not, they come here pursuing employment. If they’re not “taken,” they inevitably start searching for love.

It’s not easy.

We polled single women ages 21-35 years about the biggest turn-offs they encounter during their search for significant others.

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According to the poll, single women in Charlotte don’t want to date someone who:

(1) Is self-centered

(2) Is conceited

(3) Lacks confidence

(4) Is pompous and overly confident

(5) Smokes

(6) Doesn’t like games (such as: board games)

(7) Doesn’t like holidays

(8) Is an a$*hole

(9) Can’t get sarcasm

(10) Has bad teeth

(11) Has food stuck in their teeth

(12) Wears tank-tops

(13) Flakes out on plans

(14) Is ignorant/closed-minded

(15) Comes on too strongly

(16) Lies

(17) Shows poor character

(18) Has a potty mouth

(19) Is lazy

(20) Has poor hygiene

(21) Wears flip-flops paired with jeans

(22) Is arrogant

(23) Is dishonest

(24) Is pessimistic

(25) Is immature

(26) Plays credit card roulette on the first date

(27) Has bad manners

(28) Lacks a beard

(29) Won’t stop talking about themselves

(30) Brags

(31) Displays phone infatuation

(32) Is rude

(33) Wears dirty shoes

(34) Doesn’t like dogs

(35) Uses anything tobacco-related

(36) Acts nervous

(37) Is a bad tipper

(38) Is stuck in a life they don’t like or aren’t passionate about

(39) Lacks ambition

(40) Is selfish

(41) Is disloyal

(42) Runs late

(43) Has a tendency to take gym selfies

(44) Wears cargo shorts and white sunglasses (alone or combined)

(45) Acts like a bully

(46) Is negative

(47) Has no sense of humor

(48) Aims for dinner after 9 p.m.

(49) Hunts

(50) Lacks empathy

(51) Is short

That’s a lot of ways to strike out. Anything to add? Comment below.

Photo: Victor Hanacek

The casual engagement — why we’re getting turned off by sex

Mitchell JordanFollow Dec 6, 2018 · 5 min read More and more people are turning away from sex. (Image courtesy of Pexels.com)

Just before 12 am on a weeknight, my whole apartment rattles with the urgent buzzing of the intercom.

What happens next is a frenetic flurry: my housemate rushing to the door to let in his latest hook-up, and quickly shuffling them back out between twenty to forty minutes later, all followed by the steady hiss of the shower. (A little water will clear us of this deed?)

It’s a predictable rhythm that I’ve grown accustomed to: sometimes it happens every night of the week, on other occasions once or twice a month; but each late-night caller still brings with it the same reminder.

A long time ago, I decided not to have sex anymore. By that I mean I will not have sex until I am in a committed relationship; and I have been single my whole life.

Well before celibacy even occurred to me, I was blind to how sexualised modern existence has become. People I thought were simply texting or checking emails were in fact swiping left and right on a plethora of dating apps; different friends I assumed to be platonic were actually sleeping with one another and weaving a tangled sexual web that could rival The Bold and the Beautiful.

For a long time, I wondered what was wrong with me that my life in no way resembled this. After all, the people who visit my housemate are nothing if not committed. They happily brave the elements for the most fleeting moments of transcendence, whereas I stay at home and cancel all my plans if there’s so much as a stray cloud roaming the sky.

But, as it turns out, I’m not actually alone in my reluctance.

No study is ever definitive, but recent (2017) research from Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that Americans who fell into the Millenials and iGen generations were less likely to be having sex than those born in the 60s and 70s.

In this study, sexual inactivity was higher amongst young women, while research conducted by the National Survey of Family Growth, and the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey pointed to a decline in sex amongst men aged 22–35, (my age bracket) which was far greater over a decade ago.

The rise of the incel — short for involuntary celibate — is even further proof that young people have a lot more on their minds than jumping into bed with strangers.

According to Jacqueline Hellyer, sex therapist from LoveLife, there’s been a seismic shift away from “raunch culture” as more and more people desire something other than a Sex and the City-style life.

“The pendulum has swung and it’s easier to have hook-ups, so a lot of people are finding that they aren’t actually all that satisfying,” she explains.

“That’s because good sex comes from two people who know each other well. With a stranger, people can feel a bit of a letdown later. It’s kind of like a triple-choc ice-cream — it looks great, but after you’ve eaten it, you feel sick and wish you’d had a piece of fruit instead.”

Casual sex has been likened to over-indulgence. (Image courtesy of Pexels.com)

Jacqueline also points out that women are less likely to orgasm with a stranger.

So why do we do it? “Sexual liberation is still relatively recent in our society,” she adds. “The easy access of apps means we’re like kids in a candy store.”

Despite these liberal attitudes, celibates are still looked upon with disdain and any criticism of sex is generally always met with the most vituperative outbursts. Almost no one even tries to understand asexuals, who are all too often considered aberrations.

Someone who definitely did make an effort to understand everyone is Rachel Hills, journalist and author of The Sex Myth, who spent the better part of 10 years talking to young people around the world about sex. She discovered that, for many of them, sex was over-rated and that the idea that everyone is ‘doing it’ is in fact far from the truth.

Rachel is cognisant of the ostracism faced by those who stop sex. “Because our culture treats sex as a major source of intimacy, pleasure, health, and self-worth it can be confusing to some people when a person voluntarily gives it up,” she tells me.

“That goes double, I think, when the person abstaining is a man — we’re so enculturated to the idea that men ‘always’ want sex that the idea that a man would choose not to have sex is treated as somehow suspect, like he must be hiding something. That said, there is also a kind of power in being the person who chooses to abstain. Under the Sex Myth, it’s better to not have sex because you choose not to than to not have sex because no one chooses to have it with you. Even though, of course, in reality there are plenty of people in both positions.”

When I asked one friend who uses apps for casual sex why they did it, I was told: “I tried dating and it didn’t work. Nobody wants me that way, so I might as well take what I can get.”

As an ugly person with limited sexual currency, I understand their despondency. I might have taken the same route once. Maybe. This friend didn’t seem particularly sad, but their outlook certainly saddened me. Nothing springs to my mind more than the lyrics of Courtney Love, who sang on Live Through This: “Every time I sell myself to you, I feel a little bit cheaper than I need to.” That sort of negotiation isn’t something I’m willing to do.

While I understand the diversion from loneliness which sex can offer, it’s worth asking: is a life without sex really that bad? To my mind, it makes things a whole lot calmer. If it weren’t for sex, Shakespeare might never have penned any of his dramas. You don’t need to be an historian to realise that since time immemorial sexual relationships have been the death of human kind, not to mention the increase of sexually transmitted infections. Sex blurs the boundaries between reality and illusion; it makes us unhinged and crazy (and yes, sometimes, that’s a good thing too). Personally, I like negotiating a world unguided by capricious lust. It’s not that I don’t have a heart; I just like it to beat for different reasons.

I’m happy to consider having sex someday but if — and only if — it’s with someone I truly love. Of course this is old-fashioned, but the idea of meeting someone in the library or a museum and falling in love excites me far more than signing up to something with a name like Bumble, Grindr, Squirt, Down or the like, and hoping that might deliver something.

Ultimately, nobody should have to explain their life, but if anyone did ask me, I’d quote Elizabeth Wurtzel, author of Prozac Nation, who once wrote that: “In a world gone wrong, a pure heart is dangerous.”

I want to be dangerous.

turn off

From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary Englishturn off phrasal verb1 turn something ↔ offSWITCH ON OR OFF to make a machine or piece of electrical equipment such as a television, engine, light etc stop operating by pushing a button, turning a key etc SYN switch off OPP turn on Don’t forget to turn the lights off when you leave.2 turn something ↔ offSWITCH ON OR OFF to stop the supply of water, gas etc from flowing by turning a handle OPP turn on They’ve turned the gas off for a couple of hours.3 turn off (something)TURN to leave the road you are travelling on and start travelling on another roadturn off (something) at/near etc I think we should have turned off at the last exit.turn off the road/motorway etc Mark turned off the highway and into Provincetown. → turn-off 4 DON’T LIKE turn somebody ↔ off to make someone decide they do not like something Any prospective buyer will be turned off by the sight of rotting wood. → turn-off5 SEXY turn somebody ↔ off to make someone feel that they are not attracted to you in a sexual way OPP turn on Men who stink of beer really turn me off. → turn-off → turn→ See Verb tableExamples from the Corpusturn off• You forgot to turn the oven off!• Then he stepped out of the room, turning off his box.• Organizers are considering turning off the air-conditioning for the event, or using it only sporadically.• Would you turn off the heater before you go to bed?• Don’t forget to turn off the oven.• She turned off the water and stepped out on to the rug, dried herself, and dressed in jeans and a shirt.• There is no doubt that the ventilator may be turned off when in fact, the patient is already dead. turn off (something)• Pulling up to a stop sign, she touches the clutch and the engine turns off.• Then he stepped out of the room, turning off his box.• Summertime is a great time to turn off that computer and get outdoors.• Organizers are considering turning off the air-conditioning for the event, or using it only sporadically.• She turned off the water and stepped out on to the rug, dried herself, and dressed in jeans and a shirt.• There is no doubt that the ventilator may be turned off when in fact, the patient is already dead.Roadsturn-offˈturn-off noun 1 TTR a smaller road that leads off a main road I missed the turn-off to the farm.2 informalSEXY something that makes you lose interest in something, especially sex Pornographic pictures are a real turn-off to most women. → turn off1Examples from the Corpusturn-off• The spectacle can be weird, unpleasant, a turn-off.• Hair on a guy’s back is a real turn-off.• Take I-10 east, turning south at the Sonoita turn-off.• I think that was the turn-off for the campground.

I’m no expert on the game of love, but I do know this: if you want to play the game, you’d better know the rules.

Now, you may be diving back into the fray or you may have been in a relationship for years. Whatever your situation, knowing the biggest turn-ons and turn-offs for men and women will either help get your proverbial foot in the door, or make your relationship that much better.

These are in no set order and have been sourced from across the internet – so don’t shoot the messenger!

Turn-ons for women

1. Being generous

2. Being a good kisser

3. Having a good sense of humour and a nice smile

4. Being chivalrous and polite

5. Confidence

6. Doing housework

7. Playing with her hair and massage

8. Good grooming and fashion sense

9. Actively listening

10. Intelligence

Turn-offs for women

1. Poor taste in footwear

2. Being pompous and cocky

3. Being uncircumcised and not ‘manscaping’

4. Being dumb

5. Being selfish

6. Too aggressive during sex

7. Bad driving

8. Being a pushover

9. Being insecure or oversensitive

10. Being boring

Turn-ons for men

1. Smell of food cooking

2. Being handy with tools

3. Wearing matching lingerie

4. Doing yoga

5. Wearing red

6. Telling dirty jokes

7. Being a good driver

8. Making first contact

9. Being appreciated

10. Playing with his hair or stroking his head

10. Being affectionate

Turn-offs for men

1. Long fingernails

2. Nagging or talking too much

3. Poor hygiene

4. Eating with your mouth open

5. Flirting with other men

6. Being mean and bitchy

7. Wearing too much perfume

8. Discussing ex-boyfriends

9. Baby talk and calling him pet names in public

10. Being too ‘handsy’ in public

So, how do you rate on the turn-on/turn-off scale? Do you agree with these assessments? Or do you find other things more annoying/alluring?

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Many of you probably think that improving your looks, or gaining more confidence will get you to the next level with women. But sometimes it’s much more effective to eliminate unattractive behavior than it is to build attractive behavior. To help you identify what type of attitude many women find unattractive, I’ve put together a list of the 9 biggest turn-offs for women, behavior and character traits, that are so off-putting to most women, that they can ruin your success no matter how attractive you are otherwise.

  1. Bragging and arrogance are some of the most common reasons women get disappointed from good looking, at least at first sight, clever men. Right from the beginning, he can’t talk about anything but his influence in his social circle, A-list celebrities he knows, or his huge salary. Arrogance gets you nowhere!
  2. I, I, I – Talking constantly about yourself equals showing no interest in her! Know that a big part of being attractive to women is the ability to make her feel special and that is achieved by asking questions and being generally curious about what kind of person she is.
  3. Being rude to service professionals like waiters, bus drivers, gardeners. How you treat people that you have no interest in shows women your real character. No woman feels comfortable in the presence of a guy who just shouted at the waitress for serving the steak medium, instead of medium-rare.
  4. Indecisiveness after asking her out – Waiting for her to decide where to go, after you asked her out, shows you had no plans about the night in the first place, and it is a clear sign for indecisiveness. We want you to be the man and take the initiative, never forget that!
  5. Looking at other girls. No matter where you are with your date, she should be the only one you are interested in. Now is the moment for him to show her that even when there’re many beautiful women in the room, he has only eyes for her.
  6. Acting immature. It’s unattractive when a man is trying to hide his affection for a woman. Ignoring her, or even worse, insulting her to get her attention is the wrong way to go. Not having the courage to look her straight in the eyes and tell her that you find her attractive is pathetic and immature. Grow some, then try again.
  7. Paying no attention in conversations either because he’s only interested in sleeping with her, or he’s thinking about what to say next. No matter what the reason is, not being present shows a lack of interest in her. How would you feel if she clearly was elsewhere while you tried telling her about yourself?
  8. Sexual and vulgar language – Sexualizing the conversation early on, before there is any emotional bond between you and her, feels extremely uncomfortable to most women. It’s scary to be stared at like a piece of meat by a horny idiot who obviously is only interested in her for one reason. The same holds true for over the top vulgar language. I know, some of you use the f-word because you think it will turn you into a bad boy, but in reality, it shows nothing but low emotional intelligence.
  9. Lying is simply a red flag. If you get caught, you can be sure to have destroyed all trust from the beginning.

What other no-go’s have you come across? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

Best,

Kristina

10 Turn Offs For Girls You Should Eradicate

by CraveOnline Jan 11th, 2017

Photo: AntonioGuillem (Getty Images)

Sit down son, we have something to tell you, and it might be shocking to you. Here it goes… you’re not the god’s gift to women, despite working as a broker and having that high school football trophy on your nightstand. Women can be put off by the things you do and the things you don’t do, and if you didn’t know that it’s probably the reason why you peaked in the aforementioned high school. But we have your back with the list of 10 biggest turn offs for girls so you can check yourself and conquer the dating game and don’t miss out on the girl you actually like.

We’re focusing on the standpoint of women that you actually want to be with, not those clueless girls that would get used by obvious players over and over again as there is a different set of rules for them.

Bad Hygiene

First and foremost, if things haven’t been going great with girls and you might be clueless about why you should check that your hygiene is on point at all times. So body odor should be eliminated first, but hygiene includes having clipped, clean fingernails, toenails as well, your clothes should be clean and smell fresh at all times, bad breath is the biggest sin, and having back hair is up there too. So pretty basic stuff, just don’t be a total Foul Bachelor Frog, but somehow guys still fail at these things and get eliminated in the qualifiers.

Lack of Ambition

There is no unison formula for gauging what women like, but if you had to sum up their preferences for most appealing things in men, the three top qualities would be fame, success, and good looks. But while they could bare the lack of these three things, a lack of ambition is a kill- mood for any woman. If a girl sees that you have no aspirations in your life, or that you have set the bar really low, the any type of relationship you have gets branded with an expiration date lower than what a carton of eggs has. There is a saying that men would be living in boxes if it wasn’t for women to inspire them, and while that is perhaps true, you shouldn’t wait for a mate to inspire you to action.

Being Insecure

Not even the most liberal, hipster, LGBTQ-supporter, there’s more than two genders girl wants a man that is not manly. That word doesn’t have to mean being muscular, into cars, and sports, but the quality of manhood is of being secure in yourself and your actions, among other things. If you’re not liking and respecting yourself, why would anyone else do the same, so having a firm base is a must. A good place to start acquiring this mind frame is the manliest quotes we’ve gathered for inspiration.

Mute During Sex

So even if you’re having sex with a girl that doesn’t mean you beat the turn offs game, as a girl could get put off by more than one thing in bed. And the one most guys tend to overlook completely is being silent during it. We’re not saying you should shout out catchphrases you learned from pornography or Deus Vult for that matter, but remaining silent is the male equivalent of lying like a starfish. There are also more subtle ways to additionally show the girl you’re into it.

Oversensitive

Yet again, even the girliest of girls, or those who shed the “constructs of gender” don’t want to be held by a man who is more sensitive and fragile than them. Every showcase of oversensitivity, either being to frail for life’s hardships or pouting after taking a joke are serious no signals for women. Go from your own standpoint, would you like to date a girl that is acting like one of your guy friends, calling you bro, talking loudly, swearing all the time? The vast majority of you wouldn’t, and it’s the same with girls.

12

Reddit user tennesseelamb asked the website’s users, “What turns you off a girl?” and the Reddit community had some opinions. I’ve gathered the top answers and listed them in below, in order of popularity. Word of caution: This is from Reddit, so please take it all with a grain of salt, and more importantly, just be yourself. I’m a fat weirdo who stares at her phone all day and sometimes speaks exclusively in rhyme (I’m the worst?) and I’m married to a wonderful dude who loves me because of those things, not in spite of them. So just do you, you awesome unicorn.

But now, onto the show! Here’s what turns (some) guys off:

1. Not being honest. This seems pretty basic. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and if you don’t have that, you don’t have anything. This is Relationship 101. Next!

2. Excessive self-centeredness. It’s good to love yourself, but maybe try to refrain from making out with yourself in the mirror every morning. (Just some mornings.)

3. Pretending to be dumb to get attention. You’re not stupid, so don’t play.

4. Pretending to be clumsy. I guess not every dude wants to date a tipsy Zooey Deschanel. (Although, I will say, getting drunk with Zooey Deschanel is probably super fun. You can paint your nails 10 different pastel colors and you know she can do a mean braid.)

5. Being on your cell phone all the time. Someone else added, “In the same vein, actually caring about Snapchat or Instagram enough that it impedes real life.” Well, then, I guess I’ll never get a man, OH WELL. (J/K I’m married and my husband doesn’t give a shit.)

6. Trying to get him to act jealous. That said, I read a relationship advice book once that said it’s imperative to make a guy a little jealous so he’ll put a ring on it. I think Beyoncé wrote it.

7. Playing hard to get. I guess wanting a guy to work for it is a no-no? Although, honestly, if he isn’t willing to try a little, was it ever even worth it?

8. Lying about your wants. If you know where you want to eat, don’t tell him to decide and then pout when it’s not what you want. Just say you want Chipotle. You always want Chipotle. (Don’t worry, he does too.)

9. Narrow-mindedness. Seems fair. Judge not, lest you be judged, love everyone, just be chill, etc.

10. But also, being too open-minded. What can I say? Guys are complicated, emotional creatures. They don’t know what they want.

11. Helplessness. Men like women who can get shit done.

12. Treating your social media accounts like it’s your job. Although, to be fair, sometimes it is your job. And in that case, you really should treat it as so because being fired is not the greatest. If not, I guess you can close Instagram every once in awhile. If you want.

13. Not reciprocating things. An example from Reddit: “I was with my ex for 6 years and through those 6 years I helped her through her struggles with depression and self destruction. Fighting every step of the way. She always said she was so grateful and would do anything she could to help me if I ever had struggles. About 5 years into our relationship I started to develop obsessive behavior and rituals eventually got diagnosed with OCD and what they called ‘Mild Autism’. The second I walked out and told her I could see in her face that it bothered her. Fast forward to a year later I had a bad evening and I had brushed my teeth for a fourth time because I kept messing up how I put down my tooth brush. She looked at me disgusted and left that night to ‘Get a break from it.’ I have not seen her since or spoken to her.”

14. Not complimenting them. Sometimes dudes need to be told their butt doesn’t look big in those jeans. Toss a boy a compliment every once in a while.

15. Not being real. Don’t play games. Just be yourself and find a dude who likes you the way you are (and vice versa). Now that’s good advice.

Follow Laura on Twitter.

Laura Beck Laura Beck is a Los Angeles-based TV writer and frequent contributor to Cosmopolitan.com — her work has appeared in the New York Times, New Yorker, Jezebel, and the Village Voice.

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