- The Secret to Making Your Husband Happy
- Appreciating What He Accomplishes
- The Wrong Way to Show Appreciation
- ‘Be your husband’s mistress’ and other marriage advice from abroad
- 1. Practice gratitude.
- Terry Crews shares his mantra of gratitude and love of horses on TODAY
- 2. Let go of your resentment.
- 3. Get physical.
- Marriage 101: Millennials take college course in how to stay wed
- 4. Avoid the negativity bias.
- 5. Learn how to de-escalate.
- 6. Always be kind.
- 7. Do new things together!
- 50 Ways to Make your Husband Happy – How to Please the Man in Your Life
- 50 Things To Say to Your Husband to Make Him Feel Great
- Find a Marriage Weekend Near You!
- Thanks to Joanna Schroeder, making your man feel loved couldn’t be easier. Take these super-sweet tips and have him blushing with warm fuzzies in no time.
- how to make your husband happy again – tips on improving your marriage
- If you wonder how to make your husband happy again, the tips below may be of some help to you.
- What Men Really Want
- How to Make Your Husband Happy
- What Do Men Really Want Wives to Know
- How to Please Your Husband
- How To Keep Your Husband Happy! Without Getting Stressed.
- #1 Change Your Attitude!
- #2 Be Blissful!
- #3 Compliment him! It will Make Your Husband Happy Every Day
- #4 Ears and eyes on him!
- #5 Get kinky in the sheets
- #6 Be the woman he fell in love with
- #7 Support his ambitions and Dreams
- #8 Be a Friend and it will make your Husband Happy
- #9 INVEST IN HIM
- #10 NEED HIM!
- #11 Respect his decisions
- #12 Be spontaneous!
- #13 Give him space!
- #14 Forgive!
- # 15 Be, intimate-Pray together!
- 6 Guaranteed Ways to Make Your Husband Happy
- 1. Offer your unwavering support.
- 2. Identify what you love about your husband.
- 3. Share your expectations.
- 4. Encourage him to be more.
- 5. Invite your husband to dream with you.
- 6. Avoid the “clanging-cymbal” approach.
- Yes, It Is YOUR Job To Make Your Husband Happy
The Secret to Making Your Husband Happy
Shaunti says women find it hard to believe that something so basic can be so powerful. But she says it’s because those words get to the heart of what your husband really needs from you. Here’s the secret to making your husband happy.
Appreciating What He Accomplishes
Very few things are as powerful to a man as feeling that he has tried something, accomplished it, done it well, and someone noticed. I didn’t see how profound this need was until a few years after the original edition of For Women Only came out. At that time, my friend Lisa Rice and I were researching teenagers for For Parents Only—and talking to both males and females at the same time. We found that the girls (and women) tended to have deep, hidden questions like Am I special? Am I lovable? and thus deeply needed to feel accepted and worthy of being loved for who they were on the inside. But here’s the thing: the men and boys really didn’t have those questions. Instead (as we’ll cover in Chapter 3), they worried, Do I measure up? Am I any good at what I do? They deeply needed to feel noticed, able, and appreciated for what they do on the outside.
We, women, need to feel special and worthy of being loved for who we are on the inside. Men deeply need to feel able and appreciated for what they do on the outside. As strange as it sounds to women, hearing “You did a great job at that meeting” or “You are such a great dad” or even “Thank you for fixing that broken kitchen cabinet” is far more emotionally powerful to a man than hearing “I love you.” In the survey for my book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, more than seven out of ten men said that if their wife simply noticed something and said thank you, it had a big impact on their happiness level.
The Wrong Way to Show Appreciation
I cannot tell you the number of times a man has shared how secretly painful it is when his wife tries to thank him but instead sends the (accidental!) signal “But it wasn’t good enough.” As one man told me, “She’ll come into the kitchen after I’ve finished wiping down all the countertops. I’m proud it looks so good, and she’ll say, ‘Thanks, honey. Oh, but you missed the crumbs under the toaster.’ Under the toaster! I know she doesn’t mean it to say, ‘You’ve failed,’ but privately it just kills me.”
Many women have been confused about why their man would say, “Nothing I do is good enough for you.” Huh? Well, guess what: that is a giant red flag. Without realizing it, we’ve been sending him the ultimate in painful messages: “You tried…and failed.”
Thankfully, even simple appreciation (if it is undiluted by criticism) is powerful. One of my favorite speaking formats is when pastors interview me on these subjects during their sermon time. One Sunday I was with Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church near Atlanta, when he relayed to the congregation something I’ll never forget—a conversation where he told his wife, “If you never told me that you loved me again, but throughout our marriage you simply told me how proud you are…I’m not sure I would miss ‘I love you’ because of what it means in my heart to hear that you’re proud of me. It is that big of a deal.”
Tell us! What are some compliments you can tell your spouse this week to brighten up his day?
A few weeks ago, Pink announced to the world what she thought about marriage: “Monogamy is work!” she declared. But she didn’t stop there — Pink revealed that sometimes she swoons over her husband, and other times, she cannot stand him. Celebrities — they really are just like us, huh?
Is marriage work? Yes, it most certainly is. However, what we see in Hollywood movies tells us that it isn’t. Most love stories end happily ever after — in just two hours. We don’t see what a real marriage looks like five, 10, 20 years down the road — when it’s not so much “sweep me off of my feet” as it is, “sweep the kitchen floor for my affections.”
What happens when our relationships aren’t “picture perfect” anymore? The cold hard truth is that ups and downs are normal and every couple will face conflicts. Both happy couples and miserable ones have the same problems — it’s how they deal with those problems that dictates the future of their relationship.
‘Be your husband’s mistress’ and other marriage advice from abroad
June 28, 201703:42
So, what can you do to make your marriage fun and happy? The key is becoming the better spouse — and here are seven ways to do that:
1. Practice gratitude.
The key to having more passionate and fun feelings about your spouse is to write down the things your spouse does for you, both short-term and long-term, that make you feel grateful. Happiness stems in large part from gratitude. Here, I’ll start my own list so you can see how to structure yours:
What I’m grateful for about my husband Andy:
- He brings me coffee every morning in a great mug (I collect mugs and he always finds a good one).
- Not only that, but he brings it up three flights of stairs to where our room is.
- He wakes up happy most days.
- He loves my job and supports me in every way.
- He wants me to buy nice things for myself, because I’d prefer to hit the sale rack.
- He is kind to my family and loves them like his own.
Oct. 21, 201504:15 Trending stories,celebrity news and all the best of TODAY.
Do this, and watch your positive feelings re-kindle, and watch the smile on your own face as you write. Have your partner do the same — and watch how things grow lovelier, and so quickly.
2. Let go of your resentment.
If you have a chip on your shoulder because your partner isn’t helping in the kitchen often enough or planning social outings, those negative thoughts could be affecting the love and good feelings you’ve created over time.
Take a hard look at the expectations you believe your spouse isn’t meeting. Expecting your partner to always be sexy, funny, reasonable, sensible and accommodating is a set-up for bad feelings. To get the excitement back, first you have to get over your resentments and strive for acceptance of your spouse. Doing so will change the whole dynamic of your relationship, making it a lot easier to communicate, connect and feel more in love.
3. Get physical.
When you’re falling in love with someone, you constantly look for ways to be in physical contact with that person: holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling. Reincorporating everyday physical gestures here and there can help stir up those loving feelings again.
Start small with a gentle brush of the arm, a pat on the back, holding hands, just putting your hand on top of his. Every gesture counts. The skin is your body’s largest organ, and physical touch is an important human need — 30-second hugs are my favorite. Touch really brings you closer together. Before you know it, those little touches will translate to a deepened emotional connection.
Marriage 101: Millennials take college course in how to stay wed
June 26, 201704:02
4. Avoid the negativity bias.
The longer you’re married, the more likely you are to pay attention to the negative aspects of your spouse, rather than the traits you found adorable at first. It’s part of human nature.
To counteract this tendency toward criticism, you have to change your mindset and look for what is good. It’s not always easy, and requires work. Remember that gratitude list I told you about? The next step is to tell your partner what you love and appreciate about them — specifically!
5. Learn how to de-escalate.
When those inevitable arguments happen, try this approach. One person gets to call “Stop!” in our house. We call it “de-escalation.” We put the heated discussion on pause by sending everyone into their own safe, quiet spaces in the house to calm down. My kids call it “boxers going back to their corners.”
The pause usually lasts 20-30 minutes, maximum, and it is miraculous how we can solve things in two minutes after a de-escalation.
6. Always be kind.
This is hard to do — especially when your partner pushes your buttons. Make a list of the things that irritate you most about each other, and have a plan to respond with kindness instead of venom. This will improve things fast and make your partner feel loved and important.
7. Do new things together!
More and more is being written about increasing happiness by increasing novelty — meaning doing new things and sharing new experiences together!
Suggest taking a salsa or ballroom dance class, go on a biking trip together — even trying a new restaurant can help to break up the monotony and build excitement again. Tell your partner about why novelty works (it’s also great for your sex life), and I’m sure they’ll be happy to join the fun!
Dating coach Bela Gandhi is the founder and president of Smart Dating Academy.
50 Ways to Make your Husband Happy – How to Please the Man in Your Life
When was the last time you did something special to make your husband happy? The man you exchanged vows with is so much more than just a provider and a pair of useful hands around the house. He is someone who is always there to cheer you up when you are feeling low and to celebrate with, when the good times are around. A husband is your lover, your companion and a wonderful father to your kids.
TIP: Download the guide to making your husband stay committed to the marriage.
So, isn’t it time you did something fun and unexpected to gladden your husband’s heart? Whether you are a bride, eager to please her brand-new hubby, or a wife of many years wishing to sizzle up your married life, here are a 50 ways to make your husband happy and pleased that he married you.
- Start with a love letter. Remember how eagerly you waited in the early days of your courtship to receive a letter or just a note from each other? Do it again, but this time count all the reasons, which you think make him the best husband. Your man will not only be happy to be reminded of your love but glad to know that he makes you happy as well.
- Listen actively. When your husband expresses an opinion or a thought, pay attention. This shows you respect him and his views and nothing pleases a man more.
- Say thank you with a smile. When your husband does an odd job around the house, thank him like you really mean it. He will know that his help is not taken for granted and he will be happy to do more.
- Prepare his favorite meal. After he returns home from work on an ordinary day, surprise your husband with his favorite dinner. He will not only be glad to have the food he likes best, but will appreciate the time and effort you put in preparing it.
- Let him have the TV remote. Granted, that you wish your husband spent more time with you, than watching the sports channel, but if there is an important game that you know your husband would love to watch, hand over the TV remote graciously.
- Hold his gaze. When you are speaking to your husband or listening to him, make sure that you keep eye contact. This will assure him of your attention and your respect, which is empowering to any man.
- Plan a vacation. Make arrangements for a romantic vacation, to a destination you know your husband would love to visit.
- Ask his family over. Your husband’s parents mean a lot to him. So ask them over for a Sunday lunch he will be touched by your loving gesture.
- Gift your husband a subscription to his favorite magazine.
- On the way from work, visit the bakery and pick up a dessert your husband digs.
- Do something he hates. Choose a chore, like buying grocery or taking out the laundry, your husband really dislikes doing and then go on to do it cheerfully.
- Have his pals over. If a Super Bowl game or something equally popular is coming up, let your husband know he can watch it at home with his mates. Admittedly there will be beer cans and hot dog wrappers to clean up the next day, but your hubby will love your generosity.
- Appreciate his interests. If your husband is into carpentry, praise the bookstand he has made, even if it wobbles just a wee bit. Or if he loves collecting coins, buy him a book on numismatics. Your interest in his hobbies will give your husband a feeling of pride and make him happy.
- Book your husband on a golf vacation and do it happily.
- Give your husband a nice massage, after a particularly exhausting day at work.
- Make your husband a bowl, of popcorn, as he settles down to watch his favorite DVD.
- Get him tickets to his favorite ballgame and then surprise him by lustily cheering for his favorite team.
- Buy a really expensive gift for your husband, like a watch from Cartier or a Bvlgari perfume.
- Don’t nag, if he gets lost while taking out the family on a road trip.
- Send the kids to their grandparents’ or to a family member’s for a sleepover. Then snuggle up to your husband and ask what he would like to do, for the rest of the evening.
- Find out your husband’s favorite after-shave and buy it for him.
- Recreate your first date and your husband is sure to be happy falling in love with you all over again.
- Tell your husband to take a night out with his pals. Not only will he have a good time, but he will also be grateful for your thoughtfulness.
- Put on your sexiest lingerie and get ready for an intimate evening with your husband. He will be happy to know you still desire him as a lover.
- Book yourselves on a luxury cruise. Your husband will not only enjoy the sun and the sights, but will be happiest doing nothing the whole day.
- Gift him a customized CD by compiling around ten of your husband’s favorite songs.
- Take care of your appearance. Don’t let yourself go, just because you’ve been married for quite a while. Your husband will be glad to know you still find him worth the effort and time it takes to appear well-groomed.
- Greet your husband at the door dressed in your best gown and with two glasses of champagne. After he recovers from the initial shock, he will be glad that you came up with such a great idea to welcome him.
- Tell your husband he smells nice.
- Flirt with your husband in front of his friends. Hold his gaze, touch his legs under the table and steal quick kisses. Your hubby will love to relive the days of romance.
- When you are sitting together, quietly slip your hand into his. Your husband will love the easy expression of intimacy between you two.
- Buy him a set of golf clubs or whatever sport equipment he is interested in.
- Stop trying to change your husband into someone else, after all you married him for who he is.
- Meet him for lunch at his office and suggest a quick bite. He will love your spontaneity and the fact that you took out time from your own schedule.
- The next time you decide to eat out, let your husband choose the restaurant and the menu.
- Ask him to share his fantasy with you and see if you can try it out – or at least a part of it. Even if you both end up laughing, your husband will be pleased to know you care about what he wants.
- Do something fun together like a trip to an amusement park or going for a circus show.
- Pick up the kids from their soccer or music practice, when it is actually your husband’s turn to do so.
- Go out after dinner. Put the kids in bed and steal away with your husband for an ice-cream for a stroll in the park. Your husband will be pleased at spending some quiet time with you.
- Find one thing to compliment about your husband and do it sincerely.
- Let your husband be at home the next time you want to go Christmas shopping. He will be glad to have escaped the chore and you might have more fun doing it with someone, who enjoys shopping, like your mom or a friend.
- Remind your husband that he is the sexiest man you ever set eyes on.
- Leave a love note in your husband’s briefcase or in the car. Just a sentence telling him that he means so much to you.
- Pursue an interest together – like a dance class or a photography club. He will be happy to feel connected to you.
- Go for a hike in the mountains. You both will love the fresh air and the casual intimacy.
- Be the perfect hostess, if your husband invites his boss over for dinner.
- Learn a skill or a new language. Your husband will be happy and proud of your achievements.
- Get your husband something he always wanted, but never got around buying it.
- Go over his high school photos together and remark how handsome he was even all those years back.
- Find a quiet moment with your husband to whisper “ I love you” in his ears. If you have already said it, say it again. You can never say these three words too often and you can be sure, that every time it will make your husband glad, he married you.
It doesn’t take much to make your man happy. Unconditional Love and sincere appreciation are what most men expect in a partner. So let your imagination run riot!
50 Things To Say to Your Husband to Make Him Feel Great
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Your words have great power in the life of your husband … they can lift him up and give him confidence, or they can beat him down.
By Janel Breitenstein
Your words can make a difference in the life of your husband. We have compiled a list of fifty things to say to your husband to make him feel great. Why not try one today?
1. Thanks for doing that. It means a lot to me when you serve me in little ways like that.
2. I am such a different woman because of the way you _____ (love me, gently lead me, make me feel secure, etc.).
3. I know you and I haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye lately. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I’m committed to working on our relationship so we both feel understood and secure.
4. I don’t have a bit of a headache tonight. Interested?
5. I can’t believe how _____ you are. You are so clearly gifted in that area.
6. I’m seeing lately that you may not feel very _____, but I hope you know I still respect you deeply.
7. The way you is such a good complement to me. God knew what I needed when He gave me you.
8. I love it when you wear that.
9. You are my best friend.
10. I am more in love with you than ever.
11. I want to go out with you. Are you free on _____ night?
12. No matter how royally you mess up, I’ll always be glad you’re mine, I’ll forgive you, and I’ll love your socks off.
13. I got the car washed and serviced today, hoping it would just take a little of the load off of you.
14. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me for _____?
15. It is so cool to watch the man you’ve become since we’ve been married.
16. I’m proud of you.
17. What would sound great for dinner tonight?
18 I forgive you. And I won’t bring this up again, okay?
19. Got a minute? There’s something I want to show you in the bedroom.
20. You handled that incredibly well.
21. You’re right.
22. Got your favorite snack at the grocery store!
23. Just wanted to let you know I’m praying for you.
24. I trust you.
25. Let’s put the kids to bed early.
26. Go ahead and sleep in tomorrow.
27. I had no idea you could do that! You continue to impress me.
28. What do you think?
29. Can I give you a massage?
30. I love being around you.
31. To the kids: I love your dad so much. He is so _____.
32. I got a babysitter tonight!
33. I think you have so much to offer, and I can see it in the ways you _____.
34. I’m so glad you’re home.
35. Do you feel like I’m understanding you?
36. I saw this at the store, and it made me think of you.
37. I love doing _____ with you.
38. You are one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. I am so humbled God gave me you.
39. I stayed within the budget this month!
40. You and me this evening: Game on.
41. I got tickets!
42. Mind if I hold your hand?
43. I made your favorite _____.
44. Why don’t you take the night off? I’ve got the kids.
45. You are so well-disciplined in _____.
46. You still take my breath away.
47. I miss you. Have a great time!
48. Our kids are so blessed to have a dad like you. I love the way you _____ them.
49. You make me so happy just by being you.
50. I love you so much.
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Maybe you’re a woman who initiates a lot of love for your man, but tenderness is not often reciprocated. Maybe you’re reading this under the burden of a husband who doesn’t serve you or protect you or cherish you. I want to compassionately encourage you: Jesus gave without mutual gain, too—and that puts you in some pretty good company.
Ask God to give you remarkable, gentle grace as you lift up your spouse in prayer, and as you meet everyday struggles against resentment and possibly even injustice. Our God is the God who sees (Genesis 21:15-21).
Thanks to Joanna Schroeder, making your man feel loved couldn’t be easier. Take these super-sweet tips and have him blushing with warm fuzzies in no time.
If you relied on movies and TV to teach you about love, you’d think it’s all about men making swoony declarations like Lloyd Dobler with his boom box or Andrew Lincoln in Love Actually, holding those cue cards.
But in real life, love’s not really like that, is it?
In real life, love is knowing a person’s face, learning how their eyes flash when they’re happy, how they like to be touched when they’re sad or happy or turned on, and how to get through conflict together.
James M. Sama wrote a fun list for guys about what little things women like in a big way and how to make women happy. Well, I say the same goes for guys. And regardless of whether you’re married or newly committed, if you’ve got a good man to love, he deserves to feel that way, too.
1. Compliment him.
Where did we get the notion that only women like to be told they look good, smell good, are hot, smart or sexy?
All my life I had the idea that guys were more secure about their looks and sex appeal than women are. Guys are supposed to not care about things like what clothes they wear or whether their new haircut looks good, right?
Well that’s BS! I’ve never met a guy who didn’t care at all whether the person he loved thought he was attractive. So let him know when you see him and just get that oh my gosh you are so hot tingle.
It’s easy: Tell him the good stuff when it occurs to you. Tell him he looks hot when he wears that old beat-up tee shirt. Let him know how much you love smelling his neck when you hug.
2. Tell him you appreciate what he does for you and your family.
If your partner works outside the home, let him know that you appreciate what he does. Even if he loves his job, I guarantee you there are days when he thinks about throwing in the towel or yelling at his boss, or just hiding away in his office all day. But he doesn’t do it. Part of the reason might be you, and your family.
Bread winning is an incredible responsibility for any person, and society emphasizes this even more so for men. Their earning ability, sadly, is often attached to their value in our society. As crappy as that may be, it’s only made worse when we don’t recognize the pressure men are under and their effort.
If your partner is working at home with the kids, he’s also sacrificing for your family. As much as he probably loves being the at-home parent, and finds immense joy in it, all parents have times when they, too, want to throw in the towel (or diaper), yell at the boss (the baby?), or hide in a corner. But they don’t! They’re in there, elbow-deep in something yucky, and caring for the kids all day long.
It’s easy: Tell him that you know how hard it can be to do what he does. Tell him you appreciate it and that you see his commitment. It’s not about the money—yours or his—it’s about acknowledging something what society usually takes for granted.
3. Make time for things to get hot in the bedroom.
No, he’s probably not a sex god, but the best sex feels transcendent, mutual, connected, steamy, and dreamy; so keep sex sacred and intense for both of you. Making him feel like your own personal sex diety, and him reciprocating, will probably make both your lives happier.
Nobody ever owes their partner sex, but cultivating desire is a good thing in a healthy relationship. If it’s challenging to get into the sex-god or goddess mode when you’re at home, try for a night in a hotel room. If that’s out of your budget, a tent in the woods can be really fun, too. Even at home you can talk about fantasies or look at sexy photos together, like the diverse set in Dr. Timaree’s NSFW library, if that works for you.
Or take some boudoir photos of yourself. Don’t feel up for showing your whole body or getting too racy? Try taking close-ups of a sexy but not-so-obvious body part. Your bra strap on your shoulder, the top of your undies peeking out from your jeans at the hip. There are lots of ideas out there for inspiration.
It’s easy: Nurture your desire for him. Choose to fantasize about him, about a time you were together, about that favorite part of his body that you love so much. Then heap all that desire upon him when you have the next opportunity to be together, alone.
4. Be supportive of his alone time.
I’ll be honest, this one was the hardest for me. I don’t know why, but when Ivan and I were first together, I resented how much time he spent surfing or riding his mountain bike. We were both working, we didn’t see each other a whole lot, and I felt like I was cast aside.
That was a lot of pressure to put on my husband, and not very fair. We eventually learned how to schedule our alone time—and I took advantage of him being so supportive of my need to work out, write or just read a book in bed.
Unless he’s so absorbed in his alone time that you disappear from his priorities, your separateness is a good thing! If you’re worried about how long he’ll be gone, just set a time when he’ll be back and make plans together for later. Being apart can give you more to talk about, and when his alone time is used for exercise or meditation, he’ll probably be happier and healthier for having done it.
It’s easy: Smile when he says he’s off to do the things that make him happy on his own. Give him a kiss. He’ll feel seen, heard and supported.
5. Put down your phone.
I’m as guilty as everyone else on this. There’s always one more email, one more text from a friend, another work emergency popping up. But you need to set that phone down and see the man in front of you.
When I get stuck in this cycle I try to take a deep breath and consider the worst thing that could happen if I ignored whatever is buzzing at me. If it’s a true emergency, of course he understands, but most things can wait.
Often when I put down my phone I see him there, and really look at his face. I see the man that I love, the man I met so many years ago, and I think about how absurd it is that I’m not engaging with him.
Make a deal with your partner: if you have to pick up your phone for something urgent, let the other know what it is in just a few words. “The server is down,” or “The sitter is calling,” are justifiable reasons to step away for a moment, but let him know why you’re doing it and that you’ll be back.
It’s easy: Be in the moment when you’re with the person you love. Try not to let it slip by while you stare at a screen.
6. When you get something for yourself, get something for him, too.
I admit, I lifted this one straight from the pen of James Sama, but it’s powerful advice and so easy to do!
Picking up a coffee? Grab him one! Making a cup of tea? Offer to make him one, too.
I learned this lesson a long time ago: If I’m ever at a surf shop, I bring Ivan home a present. I’m usually there picking up something for the kids, but I always grab a tee shirt, or a cap, or even just a new lip balm or tube of sunscreen for my husband.
It’s not about the money spent, it’s about the fact that I’m saying to him, “I know you love surf shops, and I thought of you when I was there.”
It’s easy: It only takes a second to say, “Can I get you one?” and the effect ripples out infinitely.
7. Look him in the eyes.
You don’t have to stare longingly at one another like you used to with your 9th grade boyfriend at the roller rink. Just take a moment to connect, eye-to-eye, and share looks with one another.
If you listened to stereotypes about what guys like, you wouldn’t think a soul-gazing connection would be on his list of good things, but I dare you to try it. Look him in the eye with a smile or a playful expression, and hold his gaze for three seconds. It’s a flirting technique that works for single people because it makes the other person feel like the only one in the room. He may be your boyfriend or husband now, but he still deserves to feel special.
It’s easy: Catch his eye. Smile. Repeat.
One key to a lasting relationship is to give your partner a million happy little moments with you, and he should do the same in return. After all, studies show that a happy marriage seems to come down to how much kindness exists between the partners.
It’s not always easy to do some of these items, even though I tried to make it seem like it is. Sometimes they require us to be vulnerable in a way we’re not used to. I get it, I’ve been there, sometimes I’m still there. But I think it’s worth it to give it a shot.
And ask him about his list of little things that make him happy – I bet you’re already doing a lot of them.
Written by Joanna Schroeder
This article was originally published with the Good Men Project.
About the Author:
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how to make your husband happy again – tips on improving your marriage
As that kind of blissful happiness wears off, your marriage life gets back to normal pretty soon, even you have realized that things start to get tough in your marriage; you always cherish the memory of the happy time when you were madly in love, but now you find that your husband changed a lot; most especially, he seems no longer happy like before; and understandably, living with an unhappy husband is miserable.
If you wonder how to make your husband happy again, the tips below may be of some help to you.
(1) Show respect to him:
Let your husband feel that he is the best in your heart, even though your respect towards him is not reciprocated. Don’t degrade him on the spot, especially in front of his friends or family. Even though you differ from each other on a certain issue, you still need to be respectful of his opinions.
If you want to learn more tips on how to respect your husband, you may read this post:
(2) Express your interest in his hobbies:
At this point, don’t misunderstand that you should force yourself to be with your husband every time he plays with his friends. You’ve got to know which things he is willing to do with you, instead of tagging along at his heels all the time. Moreover, being interested does not mean that you have to be fully involved with something; for example, if he likes basketball, you may subscribe to a basketball magazine that he craves, or buy him a basketball that you notice that he had his eye on.
(3) Have sex:
Although this seems like an obvious statement, you should pay sufficient attention to it because of its importance. This not only means you should try to have more sex with your husband but also means that you should learn how to initiate sex and enjoy sex in a more positive manner. Learn to be devoted and passionate while having sex. Sex is always an essential act to a man in a relationship. By experiencing how you are invested in the sex act, he will understand better how much you love him. So, next time when you have sex with him, try to put your all into every sex act and put your insecurities aside for the time being; your husband is a man that you have made a soul vow to and will spend the latter life with, and your life can have more fun by keeping exploring each other’s bodies.
(4) Give him some surprise:
On your way home, you may stop by a grocery or bakery to pick up his special treat; or you may go for a weekend trip away. You may send him a message every time you come back home. Yes, you must think that these things are usually the jobs of your man, and you may wonder why you should take an initial part in doing them. By occasionally surprising your husband in this way, you can remind him that he nearby has a dedicated wife, every man will be pleased to feel that there is a woman that she deeply falls in love with him.
(5) Let go of the past and move on:
Do you feel upset with your husband at the thought of something hurtful that he did to you in the past; maybe, he ever forgot your anniversary, or he slept with another woman while you were dating? Yet you have said to him that you decided to forgive him and let it go. Obviously, if you don’t want those unpleasant things buried and you bring them up in an unrelated argument at times, how can you make him happy at the moment when you still rake over the ashes? You must be aware that it is definitely harmful to your relationship to hold on to the painful memories.
(6) Take care of your husband:
When he is feeling unwell or under the weather, be attentive to him. At this point, you shouldn’t poke fun at him just because he behaves like a child, let him realize that you are always there for him, and take care of him; for example, you may make him his favorite dishes, and buy medicine for him. And likewise, if he is having a hell of a day, allow him plenty of space and let him feel that you are always ready to support him anytime when he needs you.
(7) Stop nagging him:
Although this is an obvious statement, this is often hard to comply with. In case his act drives you crazy, try to let him know your feelings about his bad acts in a calm way. Anyway, make sure not to be constantly on your husband’s case for trivial matters and something that he can’t change immediately. Nagging easily makes your husband angry or annoyed, thereby resulting in resentment towards you.
(8) Release your emotional baggage:
Don’t prejudge your husband unless he gives you a solid reason to distrust him. If you admit that you often have a nasty feeling that your husband is cheating on you, in all likelihood, you have ever been hurt or cheated on in your past relationship; probably you often ruminate or think negatively about the past relationship issues that were not resolved, and your emotional baggage is sabotaging your relationship because you treat your man the same way you have ever dealt with your ex; this damages your mutual trust greatly; so, you must be aware that your emotional baggage actually causes much anxiety and trust issues between the two of you, and it hurts your husband; for a woman who experienced ups and downs in a relationship, it is indeed hard to not carry any emotional baggage into a new relationship, but you should allow yourself some time to learn to let go of your past relationship baggage and move on.
(9) Try not to change him:
There is no need to change your husband into someone who he is not himself obviously, except for some of his habits (e.g. alcoholism, drug abuse, smoking, etc) that cause harm to him or others. You must know well that you marry a man who he is just that kind, so allow him to be himself as much as possible.
(10) Learn to use naughty words:
When it comes to sex-related things, to let him instantly understand what you secretly want to do when he comes back home, you just need to wisely use some short and meaningful words or messages.
Both sending sexy text messages and whispering naughty words are good ways to let him feel you are thinking of him. Surely, there is no need to send him such text messages or say dirty words to him every day; usually, a reasonable frequency is about once a week. Actually, while you are trying to make him yours through “dirty” words, there are many details you need to attend to. For more techniques about how to arouse him sexually by utilizing short and powerful words, you may take some time to watch the presentation below:
(11) Cook for him:
When it comes to home cooking, probably you are sure that you can’t do as well as a full-time homemaker, especially if you are often busy with your own career. But it is worthwhile to take some time to learn to cook for him. Even if you are indeed not good at cooking, learn to cook some of his favorite meals and continuously optimize them. As long as you are determined to cook for him, you can start to work on it instantly. In addition to buying recipes, all sorts of food recipe blogs and even social media (e.g. Pinterest) have already provided detailed guidelines for making fast and easy food at home. To a large extent, what makes your husband moved is more about your effort to show your care to him than the taste of a dish.
(12) Take more care of yourself:
It is difficult to retain a slim figure all the time, and you can’t also apply makeup perfectly at all times. However, you can do many small things to show your beauty to him. As your marriage bogs down in monotony and indifference, gradually you will feel you are stuck in a rut; in this situation, you will feel like there is no need to make yourself look nice for your husband. At least, you have to admit that you have paid less attention to take care of yourself than when you were dating.
If you are confused about how to make your man happy again, you might as well take more care of yourself, as this change helps improve your image in the eyes of your husband. For example, from now on, you may leave the ratty sweatpants, old T-shirts, and frayed shorts in the drawer, wear your favorite clothes and practice yoga on a daily basis. In doing so, it is more likely that he will return the favor to you by changing the previous way he treats you.
(13) Avoid expecting too much of him:
The real marriage life is never a romantic comedy. Your man can’t always have suave things to say to you. You are not Cinderella, and your life has not been a fairy tale. Your man messed up before, and inevitably he will also mess up a lot in the future. Therefore, don’t always expect that you can receive a bunch of roses or a long apology letter after every argument/fight; of course, if he can do that once in a while, it is also nice. However, you have to be aware that men and women differ greatly. In many cases, what you think that he should do is not what he will do. By the way, the majority of romantic novels and plays are written by women, not men.
(14) Lighten up:
Do you still remember the days when you and he just started dating? Were you a carefree girl who laughed and flirted at that time? Life’s stress takes a toll on this long-term relationship, and sometimes you may feel too depressed to enjoy something that you should have been happy about, even you may feel like everything in marriage is too serious to be joked about.
If you wonder how to make your man happy again, you may try not to take your marriage life too seriously. For example, occasional teasing and banter between spouses can bring some fun into the marriage life; but keep in mind: do it sometimes.
(15) Take more initiative to handle relationship issues:
A marriage is doomed to be a long and bumpy road. Usually when your relationship comes to a point where you miss the direction, what you need to do is to work hard to deal with the existing issues. So, don’t just talk about relationship problems, you need to pay enough attention to how to take action to handle it. Even if when some issues make you feel awkward and unsure of yourself, you may consider scheduling a counseling session. As long as you are sure that you love your man truly and you aim to keep your marriage alive, you do not have to wait for him to take the first step.
The final word how to make your man happy again:
The tips above are certainly not enough to make your marriage thrive; in general, as long as you think something can make your man happy again, it is worth trying. If you want to learn more about what a man secretly wants in a marriage, you may go on to watch the presentation below:
1. Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. It’s a sign of disrespect.
2. Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other’s keeper.
3. Never use attitudes and moods to communicate with your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don’t have a happy home.
4. Never compare your husband to other men, you’ve no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his ego, his love for you will diminish.
5. Never ill treat your husband’s friends because you don’t like them, the person who’s supposed to get rid of them is your husband.
6. Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.
7. Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.
8. Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty-handed. Rather encourage him.
9. Never be a wasteful wife. Your husband’s sweat is too previous to be wasted.
10. Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to men. If you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long (even the anointed ones).
11. Never compare your husband to your one-time sex mate in bedroom, or an ex-lover. Your home may never recover from it if you do.
12. Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.
13. Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise women don’t do that.
14. Don’t forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.
15. Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16. Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.
17. Your parents of family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don’t waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must leave if you want to cleave.
18. Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19. Don’t forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bedrock of every happy home.
20. If your idea is better than his, never compare yourself to him. It’s always teamwork.
21. Don’t be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a nagging wife
22. A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn’t even know that her body needs a bath.
23. Does your husband like a kind of cooked food? Try change your cooking. No man jokes with food.
24. Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.
25. Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty.
26. Don’t associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.
27. Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.
28. Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.
29. You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason.
30. A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family.
What Men Really Want
Have you ever wondered what you could do and how to make your husband happy? You are not alone! Men can be mysterious creatures. If there’s one thing that pretty much everyone knows about marriage it’s that communication is key! It’s really hard to improve your relationship if you don’t know how your spouse is feeling or what he’s thinking. Right? So we decided to find out how to understand men.
We created a survey that asked husbands what they really wish their wives knew. By blasting it out via our facebook page and sharing it in our newsletter, we were able to hear from so many of your men! We got a huge number of responses from husbands of all different ages and backgrounds.
We were seriously blown away with the responses that we received and wanted to share them all with you! Now, we couldn’t share everything that everyone said, so we sorted through all of the answers and compiled a list of the best answers of How to Make Your Husband Happy!
How to Make Your Husband Happy
Here are the TOP TEN things husbands wish that their wives knew. These were the ten most common answers that will help you really learn how to understand men. Read through to find out how to love a man and how to make your husband happy, according to the expert… HIM!
We seriously loved getting to read all of the “secret” thoughts of our husbands and have learned so much. From newlyweds, to those married for 50 years, there are responses from all types of men! We got answers from all over the WORLD! Some answers were simple, short, and straight-forward. Others were long and eloquent. But even with so many different men, it was amazing how the same answers (or variations of the same answers) kept coming up.
As we went through the sweet and sincere responses, we learned how to make your husband happy, in their own words. Rather than summarizing, we wanted you to be able to have that experience too.
What Do Men Really Want Wives to Know
If you want to know how to make your husband happy, just read their responses. When prompted, the overwhelming majority just wanted their wives to know:
#1 Know That He Loves You
How to make your husband happy? Stop questioning his love for you!
- How much I love her… how much I crave a look, a touch…even a hand on my shoulder.
- I love my wife dearly and can’t imagine what life would be like without her nor do I want to. I just wish she could tap into my brain and understand how I feel about her. (Try using this what I love about you book to help your babe understand)
- That I loved her more than anything.
- I wish she knew how much I really love her.
- If there is only one thing I could make my wife understand it would be how much I love her. I don’t know if words can ever really do my feelings justice.
- I love her and that I am so happy being married to her.
- How much I really love and care about her. At times I don’t give her my complete attention, distracted by the TV or my phone. Guys usually don’t multi-task well so I think sometimes she might feel ignored which is not cool. I want her to know that I’m sorry if I ever hurt her feelings or have ever made her feel ignored. I love my wife so much! She deserves the very best.
- How much I love her and how sorry I am for the times that I have ever hurt her. I wish I could take back the times that I ever hurt her feelings.
- That I love her more than words can describe. I thought I loved her when I married her but the love grows bigger every day. I never imagined I could be so happy.
#2 You are Beautiful and Amazing
How to make your husband happy? Accept his compliments and be confident!
- I wish she knew how beautiful and wonderful she really is… even though she doesn’t believe me.
- I wish she understood how I see her. She is a wonderful beautiful person but often has a hard time seeing that.
- I guess I wish she knew how beautiful she is. As much as I tell her she just doesn’t get it. I think she is incredibly sexy.
- She should know how truly beautiful she is to me. I’d love if she could see my feelings because I don’t express them well. I love her more than I know how to explain or show.
- I wish my wife knew that she doesn’t need to do everything perfectly. She does so many things amazingly that she believes that everything she tries needs to be perfect. I don’t like that she gets down when she messes up on one thing.
- You are better than you think you are. Thank you for being so gracious. Thank you for your help with the small things and for your input.
- I wish she knew how important she is to me. Her self esteem holds her back, she’s capable of so much more. Women are amazing. I have grown so much because of my wife and am very grateful for all that she does for our family.
- She doesn’t have to be the “perfect mom.” Every other mom has difficult challenges, too. No, they don’t “have it all together”. They are figuring it out just like you. Stop comparing yourself. You’re enough just the way you are.
- I can achieve much, much more than I can ever imagine with her help, support, and love. Every time I feel alone, insecure, incomplete, and insignificant she reminds me through her being there physically and spiritually that I am none of those things.
#3 He Is Trying
How to make your husband happy? Acknowledge his efforts, no matter how small!
- I am a long ways from being the perfect husband and father but I am trying, so keep being patient!
- She should know that I really want to please her, in all ways. I always try and I don’t mess up on purpose.
- Wives should know that their husbands would move the earth for them but sometimes we do not know how to convey it.
- I absolutely adore her I just seem to find it difficult to bring the message across, particularly in the area of birthdays and special occasions.
- It hurts when she gets upset with me. I don’t try to upset her but sometimes it happens and I feel badly about it. When she gets upset I feel badly about upsetting her and also with myself for doing whatever stupid thing I did.
- I wish my wife knew more patience. I’m trying.
- When women imagine the perfect husband and father and what they hope we will become it is often an unrealistic expectation that is influenced by media (romantic comedies, etc.) We try to be romantic but we just aren’t flowing with it all the time!
- I am not a very good conversationalist. It always seems that I say the wrong things or that every word is being analyzed. I then feel pressured to choose my words wisely so they can’t be interpreted in any other way. I’m trying. But I feel like I can’t win.
- I wish she knew how much I worry about our future and my ability to provide for her the life I know she deserves.
- Men like to hear about your feelings but can you not misconstrue what we say or complain when we have something to say. We’re trying to communicate but we need you to listen too.
#4 Hints Don’t Work
How to make your husband happy? Be clear and say what you really mean!
- Hints don’t work well with us. Be direct!
- No, I can’t read your mind. Just tell me what you want.
- Husbands are simple creatures. We can’t read minds.
- Just tell me what you want and I’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen. Why isn’t that romantic?
- I wish my wife knew that something doesn’t have to be a surprise to be romantic. It’s romantic because I made a choice to love you the way you want to be loved.
- We are not complicated–just tell us what you want. Don’t hint at it. Tell us.
- I wish wives knew how to communicate directly. If you’re unhappy with something I’m doing–tell me! Don’t tell your sister, mom, or friend.
- If you want something just tell me. Doesn’t matter if it’s something you want to buy, a gift you want to receive, a place you want to go, or a date you want me to plan- just tell me. I’m probably not going to figure it out on my own.
- Tell your husband how you want him to react when you are venting. Don’t make him guess or figure it out.
- Tell us when you only want us to listen. We men are always in fix it mode. If our wives could say that their problem is that they only need a listening ear for this problem we can fix the problem by being that listening ear. That makes us happy because we are a part of the solution and didn’t get in trouble for offering an improper solution. Our wives would be happy too because they got the listening ear. If we ask, it can come across as condescending.
#5 He Wants to Be the Top Priority
How to make your husband happy? Make him feel like he is your #1.
- You married me first before the kids.
- I want to be the most important thing to her. There is a lot on her plate but I often feel like I’m a long way down the list.
- Our children require a lot of her attention. I would LOVE for her to set some time apart for just me.
- Wives are too over-scheduled and distracted with many different activities in life. I wish I was on her to-do list.
- Men love to be very important to and wooed by their wives. Men don’t want to be the pursuer and initiators all of the time.
- Yes, I always want to fix your problems. Sorry if it’s annoying, but I just want to be your hero.
- I’m your husband, but I also want to be your best friend.
- I don’t need anything fancy, I just want your company. Everyone else gets your time. Can I?
- When we first started dating and got married I felt like I was her world. Now I wonder if there’s room in her world for me.
- She is the most important person to me in the world. I want to feel like I’m the same for her.
#6 He Wants to be Appreciated
How to make your husband happy? Show him that you are grateful for him and all that he does!
- I go to work every day not for me, but for my wife. So she can be provided for and doesn’t have to go to work herself. It would mean a lot to me if she showed appreciation for that. I feel it is something taken for granted rather than appreciated. I also wish she could understand that her appreciation, love, and intimacy is a big key to my happiness.
- Sometimes, life is hard. Work can be hard. Responsibilities can be hard. But when you know that your wife is on your team, it makes a world of difference. Thanks for being so supportive!
- I want my wife to be proud of me.
- I ultimately want to be loved for who I am now instead of what I could be. Often I don’t feel loved because she expects more than I can deliver. If I feel loved now unconditionally then it makes me want to be better and ultimately become who she wants me to be in the long run.
- The simple ‘thank you’ and a kiss on the cheek can keep up our spirits for quite some time.
- Not to keep score and rub it in. Yes, moms do a great service – one of the greatest and hardest services in society. But husbands put in a lot of energy in their jobs to make it possible for wives to stay home and do their jobs, but my wife sometimes forgets that.
- The intentional displays of respect to your husband will do more to buoy him as a husband and father. We want to do all we can for our family, even more, when we know it is appreciated.
- Fathers and husbands have an incredible obligation of not only being a provider like fathers and husbands were a generation ago, but there are more demands to be more involved in housework, raising children, and day-to-day tasks than ever before.
#7 Positivity is Attractive
How to make your husband happy? Be happy yourself!
- If you want your husband to like you and like being around you, be pleasant and positive. Don’t nag and complain.
- Be positive! Be grateful, our life is already wonderful. You are already beautiful, act like it. Our kids are already angels, enjoy them. Our lives are blessed. Stress less, be grateful.
- Kindness is the key. In actions, words, and looks. We want to hear good things. I’ve heard there should be three positive statements for every one negative.
- Instead of focusing on a single flaw in the picture, take a step back and look at the entire picture as a whole. If women analyzed the whole picture instead of a single flaw sometimes that flaw wouldn’t be as big of a deal. Look for the good in us and in life. Not the bad.
- Negativity is ugly. I married you because you were pretty.
- I love that she doesn’t get offended, she doesn’t hold a grudge and forgives my shortcomings. She also communicates openly and honestly and positively. I see too many women that don’t forgive, don’t give the benefit of the doubt, and hide their true feelings until they come raging out.
- When my wife is happy, I am happy.
- My wife’s mood has a huge effect on my mood. It’s hard to be positive when you’re around someone who is negative. But it’s also easy to be happy when you’re around someone who is smiling and laughing.
- My wife is never more beautiful than when she is smiling at me. (And I love when I am the reason for that smile)
- When I’m at work all day, I’m surrounded by unhappy, negative people. I look forward to coming home to a happy home.
#8 Your Words Matter
How to make your husband happy? Choose the words you say more carefully.
- I wish my wife knew how tremendously powerful her voiced opinion is to me. When she compliments me or is impressed by something I’ve done, I soar for days. When she critiques my faults and nags about my shortcomings, I go in a hole for days. Anyone else could say the exact same words and they wouldn’t carry nearly the same weight. But what she thinks about me matters so much to me.
- A wife has the power to motivate or demoralize her husband. Please choose words and actions wisely.
- I guess what I wish for my wife is that she would build me more often through the things she said. Telling me specifically things she loved about me. It means so much when I do hear those things.
- Please pay close attention to how you treat your husband in front of other guys. If you build your husband up in front of other guys, it counts for double. If you tear down your husband in front of other guys, it hurts twice as much.
- I wish she knew how often she speaks down to me and how small and undesirable that makes me feel.
- When you say things you don’t mean but you still say it, it still hurts.
- She should know that I actually have feelings.
- I need to be told that I look hot, or handsome, or sexy too.
- I wish wives knew that when they complain about their husbands (to friends, family, etc.) it makes the husband look bad but they never seem to approach him on these issues.
- Don’t compare me to your friends’ husbands.
#9 Sex Matters
How to make your husband happy? Make sex a priority!
- Yes, I do think a lot about sex. When we have sex, I feel more connected to her.
- I wish my wife knew that it’s not a bad thing that I think about sex a lot. It means I think about HER a lot. Why is that wrong?
- Intimacy is a big key to my happiness and well being. She is the only person I can turn to for intimacy and it hurts when it is not on her list of importance.
- Sex is NOT just sex. It makes me feel loved. (Try our 7 days of sex challenge!)
- Just understand that when we know you aren’t in the mood for sex specifically and you sometimes have the attitude of “Fine, let’s just do it and get it over with”, it makes us feel like you aren’t desiring US! We would rather have you tell us you are just too tired and let’s try again in the morning.
- That physical intimacy coupled with words of affirmation is an important way to help me to feel loved and needed in a relationship.
- The best way to love me is to be responsive to sex.
- Sex will almost always beat sleeping! It’s that important to me.
- For me, making love to my wife is the closest we can possibly be, two bodies join together physically to become one, at that time the only thing that matters is the two of us. At that time we are connected on a level that I can’t show anyone else. When you take away our ability to touch our wives, you take away our ability to communicate clearly. Now I do know that there are many ways to communicate besides touch and sex, but I also know I am much better at communication through actions and touch than words.
#10 Alone Time is Necessary
How to make your husband happy? Give him some space once in a while!
- Sometimes I just want to relax.
- We sometimes need FIVE MINUTES to decompress when we get home. Then we are all yours.
- I wish my wife truly understood that sometimes I actually have nothing going on in my head.
- Men just want to be left alone sometimes. There are times that I want to be left alone to be quiet, angry, or upset. You don’t need to know what I’m thinking all the time.
- I wish she would understand that sometimes I like to just relax and be left alone after a long day at work. I’m not trying to be lazy.
- I wish she knew that I need a break and need to just rest sometimes. However, I don’t feel like I can without her nagging me.
- That as much as we love being with you, sometimes we need our own time to unwind and relax, whether it’s playing video games, working in the garage, or going shooting.
- Alone time is necessary. We (at least myself) know certain projects on the to-do list NEED to get finished or started…. but what is URGENT to her may not be urgent to us.
- If you can feel your man’s love in most other capacities, do you really need to make him sit down and verbally communicate every 5 minutes?
- When we talk about a man cave it is not to get away from you for negative reasons but just a spot where we can pass gas, be immature and watch sports with no judgment.
- It’s cool that we’re comfortable enough to use the bathroom with the door open, but you should really keep that door closed.
How to Please Your Husband
If you are unsure how to make your husband happy, read through these responses are you sure get some insight into what men really want from their wives. We know how to pick ’em, ladies! In fact, quite a few of them mentioned how much they appreciate The Dating Divas website, how glad they are that their wives read it and use the ideas to show them love! Keep up the good work!
If you loved getting a peek into what men really want and how to make your husband happy, “For Women Only – What You Need To Know About The Inner Lives Of Men” is a must-read! For further reading, due to the popularity of this post, we also did a survey for the women and found out 10 Things Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew!
Pssttt… if you liked this post, you’ll love 10 Reasons Why You Should Spoil Your Spouse (Not Your Children) AND 10 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive AFTER Kids.
How To Keep Your Husband Happy! Without Getting Stressed.
How To Keep Your Husband Happy! Without Getting Stressed – Full Video Transcript:
Welcome to Alive and Fearless Monday.
We are doing a 2-part video series for couples, helping them bring the love, peace and happiness back in their relationship. The last video we did was for husbands to help them understand what their wife’s want. We got a lot of comments and emails on that and wives are waiting for this video.
We are now going to help wives understand what their husbands really want.
How do you ignite the passion and love back in your relationship?
Why is it that he is not understanding what you really want and what do you need to do?
I am going to give you 5 points. As a husband married over one and a half decade there are some of my experiences where I also struggled and which I realised. Now, I want to help you women really understand men. These are very simple and basic 5 points which if you do it and understand it you will be back on track.
#1: Communicate What You Want
So, the first point here is you need to tell you husband what you really want. I know that as a woman you are emotional and sentimental and you feel that your husband should know what you like and don’t like. You feel that it has been so many years of marriage and still he just does not remember. And husbands really have this challenge of not knowing what their wives really want. Please communicate.
Husbands really want their wives to tell them what they want and they will do it for you.
So, I would like all you women to talk to your husbands. It’s Ok! Just tell them that you would like them to bring roses for you, you would like to go out for dinner or if you like something or dislike something. It is just going to help him do that for you and yes, once you keep doing it he probably will remember and maybe next time he might surprise you.
That’s the first thing, tell him what you want. Do not assume and do not expect him to understand. Please don’t give those signs, signals and hints. Instead just go and say what you want.
#2: Respect His Self-Image
Second point is Respect his Self-Image. It’s very critical and crucial that as a wife you protect your husband’s self-image. Whatever his flaws are and whatever he is bad at, you do not go out and talk about it to your father, mother, sister or friends because that really pisses husbands off.
If you have a problem, go and talk to him, he is your husband. Go and speak to him and resolve it.
Now, you might complain that you have tried but your husband won’t listen or he will not do what you want. There are other reasons for that…. But going out of the relationship and talking about your relationship and your husbands flaws really does not help.
Especially when you are in a family gathering or in the public, where there is a chance and you can protect him, you say that your husband is nice and takes care of you and the family and he really puts efforts. That really is magical for the husband because he really remembers that you took care his public identity and his image in front of others.
#3: Leave Him Alone
Point number 3 is leave him alone.
When the husband comes back home he really wants to be left alone. He wants his time. So, women I understand that when the husband comes home and he is upset, you want to talk to him; And if he doesn’t answer, it’s really not about you. It’s just that he is busy thinking something or just stressed because of something that occurred at work and he really needs time to figure it out.
Now, women often tend to ask about what happened and talk and maybe the husband doesn’t want to talk. So, you want to leave him alone and give him his time. Maybe he will just sit on the couch, watch television, have dinner, take a shower, relax and it might take an hour or maybe a day, I don’t know. When he does that, he will come back to you completely.
So as husbands we cannot always be loving and caring all the time. This is just who men are. They need to disconnect and they will come back. They need to go in their cave and when they are ready they will come back.
#4: Don’t Find Faults
The fourth point is if you want something from him, if you want him to help in the domestic work or household chores, in cleaning or something like that then you really need to start appreciating first. Appreciate what he has given you, what he is doing, maybe a little bit in the kitchen or with the kids or with the kid’s homework.
If the husband has to do something, of course he will have his own ways of doing it. So, if you want him to help with something, women need to stop advising and instructing them. And often what happens is that husbands tune off. They are like do it yourself and they will not help you ever.
Now, from the women’s perspective they are just trying to help but no, instead you are making him feel wrong which he doesn’t like. So, if you want him to help, then probably allow him to do it his way and do not keep correcting.
#5: Good Food Is Important
The last one is Food! Husbands really want good food and they like to eat before doing anything.
So, if they’re hungry, don’t go and just start talking…hold on! Feed him, let him enjoy his meal. Please don’t start at the table or while he is eating. Let him enjoy his meal, give him good meals, give him what he enjoys eating, which is very important for a man because he goes out, he works, probably he has not had a good meal in the day, and so when he comes back home he expects a good meal.
Now, I am not saying that women have to be in the kitchen all the time, but you are the wife and if you know what he likes to eat, do that. He enjoys that. A man always enjoys a meal cooked by his wife. If not that then whatever means you have, the food needs to be good, hot, fresh and to his liking.
Once that happens, go and ask anything from your man and I promise he is going to give it to you.
So, I hope this video helps all you women get more love, peace and happiness in life. Comment and let me know if you agree, if this works and if it helps.
Thank you so much for watching.
Stay Alive! Stay Fearless!
Dream Big, Stay Strong.
Need to make your husband happy? Like genuinely happy? It’s about time! A blissful marriage is doable. Yes! Even in the 21st century. You are cable of a long-lasting, blissful, engaging, awesome marriage. You deserve it! It’s about time you salvaged your marriage! Be that oasis in the desert.
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Imagine being the wife of a royal, successful, loving, and happy husband. It all starts with you. It’s doable! You can do it! You should do it! Here’s how you do it!
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Table of Contents
#1 Change Your Attitude!
Attitude is leadership! To lead your marriage to a blissful place, you’ll have to change your attitude first! That’s what Sheila Wray Gregoire encourages in her book “Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage: Because a Great Relationship Doesn’t Happen by Accident”
If you keep approaching matters the same way you did yesterday, your tomorrow will, unfortunately, be like your yesterday. Same old, same old, just a different day! Boring is an understatement. Next time you get into a fight with your better half, try using a different approach.
Say you’re used to giving him the silent treatment for a week or so after a fight. Try changing that approach! Instead, talk to him immediately. You can talk about something you both agree on. It’s never that serious! Relax! Remember a happy husband is worth swallowing your pride and ego for.
#2 Be Blissful!
Wow! To make your husband happy every day, you’ll have to be happy first! It’s a win-win scenario for both of you. Either way, you both win! You end up happy. Isn’t that what you want? To be happy with a happy husband asks Darien B. Cooper. His thought-provoking book ” You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband: Discovering the Keys to Marital Success ” is a must-read.
So, what makes you happy? What takes away the everyday pressures of life for you? What’s yours to go to an activity, the one that sends shivers down your spleen? Do that more. Go for hiking, adventures, hang out with your girls (you could consider doing a girls trip to J ). Whatever you do, be happy. Stay Happy!
photo by Leah Kelly on pexels.com
#3 Compliment him! It will Make Your Husband Happy Every Day
A genuine, kind word is worth a fortune! Are you on a mission to make your husband happy? Complimenting him will smoothen and bliss things up. Kathi Lipp in her bestselling book “101 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him” Advices women to compliment their husbands and brag about them in social media.
“Compliments help boost his self-esteem and ego concurrently,” says Nathaniel Barnett. Find something new to compliment him on every day. Appreciate your God-given man! Make your marriage a blissful haven by complimenting him daily. A dose of daily compliments will create a husband happily, and a happy husband equals a happy wife and marriage.
#4 Ears and eyes on him!
You know how great it feels like when you got all his attention? When he is ravishing you and spoiling you like the darling you are. Well, reciprocate that! Give him all your attention when you’re with him. Let every second of every day count! Lance Armstrong in his book “Every Second Counts “ will help you understand your man better”.
You’re probably thinking “It’s the 21st century! When are you going to do your 2 shifts and give your hubby the attention he deserves? Sounds like too much work, yes? No! You need to keep your priorities in check woman! Your work won’t take care of you when you’re bedridden. Your hubby will!
Maximize and optimize the time you spend together. Look into each other’s eyes when talking; give him that much-needed attention when you’re with him. A happy husband will then be inevitable. Remember, quality matters!
photo by Josh Willink on pexels.com
#5 Get kinky in the sheets
Submit woman! Submit! Let yourself go when you’re making love. Enjoy this God-given gift to the maximum! Be willing to submit to his desires. It’s either you do it in this world, in this lifetime or never! The decision is yours. The wise move, however, is doing it in this lifetime, says James Francis Byrnes in his book “All in one lifetime”.
You’re probably cursing the stretch marks, cellulitis and ‘misplaced’ fats your husband will have to see, yes? Well, this is where ‘for better or worse’ comes in. Worry not! He’ll love you in spite of them. If you’re being kinky and submissive, he won’t be looking at that anyway.
#6 Be the woman he fell in love with
Yes! Change is inevitable. But you don’t have to lose yourself in it. Say you used to cook his meals every day. You’ve however had to take up another shift @ work, hence won’t be able to cook. How do you handle such a change?
You were a size 6 during your wedding. Now, you’re size 10 thanks to changing times. How do you handle such changes and still be you? According to Stormie Omartian, it’s completely possible. Her book “The Power of a Praying® Wife Devotional” guides women on this. Think Compromise!
You are a beautiful woman inside out! Don’t lose what makes you human, what made you stand out in his eyes. A beautiful soul will always be beautiful despite the outside pressures of life! Stay beautiful inside!
photo by Artem Beliaikin
#7 Support his ambitions and Dreams
This is another win-win scenario. You’re in his ambitions and dreams. When he succeeds, you succeed. That ’s teamwork. Start by acknowledging his goals. You can make some together if he hadn’t identified them yet. Get to know his dreams and long-term visions.
According to Cindi McMenamin being a cheerleader of his ambitions and dreams is how you end up making your husband happy. His well-researched book advises women to believe in their man’s dreams and goals. Cheer him on concurrently focusing on your individual goals and dreams. In case of any conflicting goals or uncertainty in long-term visions, discuss them freely. You don’t need an answer right away so don’t fight over it!
#8 Be a Friend and it will make your Husband Happy
Who’s a true friend according to him? What’s his definition of a best friend? Find that out and be it! Best friends make blissful marriages! Listen to him, cheer him on, don’t use the information he told you in confidence against him and most importantly, be yourself when you’re with him. Make him your best friend too. You’re blessed and fortunate to have met someone who loves you and got your back.
Having a man who’s your confidant, lover and best friend will certainly mean a happy marriage. Try it! Your marriage will thank you!
photo by rawpixel.com
#9 INVEST IN HIM
You know how you’re saving up for old age? How you’ve been eating healthy, exercising and investing in your future? That’s how you start investing in your man! Together, invest in each other’s future. Say he has a goal he’d like to achieve by the end of 3months, help him achieve it by investing in it.
He wins you win, remember? If he’d like to lose a couple of pounds, work out with him, cook or order in healthy food. Research on “losing weight the healthy way” and share the knowledge with him. Don’t get obsessed with it though says, C. Elias. Check out his book Healthy Eating Tips to Lose Weight Naturally: Learn how to Eat Healthy, Lose Weight Naturally, and discover over 30 Healthy Food Tips for Life!for more healthy living tips.
Invest in his dreams, goals, and aspirations and you’ll have yourself a happy husband every day. When you don’t agree on some things, voice them out. Discuss, agree, and then settle on something that works great for the both of you.
#10 NEED HIM!
You feel great whenever you feel needed, yes? Then you understand why you need to need you, man! Needing him emotionally, spiritually, sexually, physically, financially and mentally is what Helen B. Andelin – recommends. Having counseled and salvaged several marriages.
I highly recommend you read her through provoking book fascinating Womanhood: How the Ideal Woman Awakens a Man’s Deepest Love and Tenderness. It is full of tips that will assist you greatly.
Needing your man does not, however, mean you become lazy! Strike a balance between needing him and being your own person. Be capable of buying him a gift yet needing him to balance your financial life together, get it? Need and want him but still have a life and career of your own.
Don’t forget who you are! A strong, go-getter, beautiful woman!
photo by pexels.com
#11 Respect his decisions
“Respect is earned, not demanded!” Know that famous quote? Well, try implementing it in your marriage! Earn that respect by being a respectable woman. Respect his decisions and he will respect yours! He’s a grown ass man! Respect the fact that he can make his own decisions, Tony Evans says this in his book “For Married Women Only: Three Principles for Honoring Your Husband”
Behind every respectable man, there is a woman respecting him. You’re not his mother! Quit acting like one! Instead, acknowledge the fact that he can make his own decisions and RESPECT that! Respect your man if you want him to respect you. Live an exemplary life! You won’t regret it! When his decision doesn’t make sense to you, find an amicable way of communicating this.
#12 Be spontaneous!
Having a routine is good. It helps in being disciplined and focused. However, if you want, need to make your husband happy, spontaneity is a must! Surprise him at work with his favorite takeout. Have some crazy make-out session in the car at night in some parking lot. Ask him out on a date and make it stand out!
Be different, at least every once in a while. Laura Doyle in her book “The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husband “ advises women to embrace spontaneity and think outside the box. You married the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. This is the rest of your life! Start enjoying it right away!
photo on pexels.com
#13 Give him space!
Space is healthy! This is especially so in a long-term relationship. You should learn to give your man some breathing space. In The “Great Alone”: A Novel by Kristin Hannah women are reminded to stop being all over their man’s space. Let him breathe a little.
You don’t have to go out together every-time. Give him some days “off” to reconnect with his fellow mates. It’s Ok if he sometimes locks himself up in the study or garage. Let him be! Learn to be in a relationship at the same time independent. Grant your husband his alone time. He’ll forever thank you blissfully.
Learn to focus on your marriage rather than on the negative decision your hubby made. Whenever he drives you crazy, remember; this is just a situation! Your marriage is more important. If he’s truly sorry for the deed, forgive him! Yes, it’s that simple says, Laura Doyle.
Avoid keeping grudges for long periods. You’re hurting, he’s hurting, and your marriage is hurting so what’s the point? Acknowledge the mistake, discuss it, give him the chance to apologize, then together, figure out ways he will avoid hurting you the same way in the future then forgive!
See a counselor if you’re dealing with issues of adultery or abuse and are willing to forgive him.
# 15 Be, intimate-Pray together!
A prayer a day keeps the devil away, they say! Prayers in a marriage bring more intimacy! Still wondering? Yes, it does! Together in prayers thank God for your marriage and ask him to bless your husband and all his endeavors. This shows your husband the affection and the goodwill you possess. A happier man who believes her wife cares so much about their marriage will boost his ego and increase his love.
Nothing is impossible! You are fully equipped and capable of making your husband happy every day. Implement the above 15 steps in your marriage today and watch your marriage transform. You deserve a great, blissful marriage and husband every day!
You must be willing and have the required resilience to succeed. As a woman, you have the power to build or destroy your home. Be the best version of yourself in your marriage and happiness will always be yours for the taking.
6 Guaranteed Ways to Make Your Husband Happy
I love my husband. He is funny, witty, kind and an incredible dad.
Our marriage is amazing. Except that some days it’s not. Some days it’s hard. Fiercely hard. Some days I want to yank out his hair and tell him everything I think he’s doing wrong. Loudly. In his face.
I know we’re not the only ones who struggle this way. I’ve been to book stores and seen rows upon rows of ways for spouses to be better at marriage. I’ve seen the high divorce rates. I’ve counseled couples during some of their lowest seasons.
I wrestle daily with what it means to be a wife who honors her husband. How can I encourage him? How can I compel him to more? How can I offer rest? Hope? How can I make him happy? Here are six things I’ve found to be helpful.
1. Offer your unwavering support.
In a 2014 research study conducted by The Austin Institute, women were more likely to be unhappy in marriage than men. Rather than explore what our expectations are in marriage and our reactions to them, we tend to do things like nag or correct, or stop dreaming all together so that we are never disappointed. Perhaps we even do things like accuse our husbands of being “black holes of joy.”
As moms and wives, we like to fix things and to alleviate discomfort. One of our tasks in marriage is to help reveal God’s glory in our spouses, and this comes by encouragement and support. This can be verbal or silent, but what’s most important is that your husband knows that he has your unwavering support.
2. Identify what you love about your husband.
How do you share that with him? How do you see Christ in his life? Bless him by naming that and pointing it out when it happens.
Men want to know if they have what it takes to successfully engage the world. Most of the men I know, including my husband, benefit immensely from a good woman’s belief that they can enter a world of futility and push back some thorns.
I cringe to think about how many times I have hurt my husband by either correcting everything he does or by not expressing my disappointment.
Husbands and dads cannot read minds. He needs you to share with him. He also needs you to approach him with a gentle strength. How would you want to hear that he is disappointed with you?
Many times we expect perfection from our spouses, so we get mad when he doesn’t fill the dishwasher the way we want him to. Other times, we don’t expect anything, so we lay out clothes for the kids when he’s dressing them because we don’t think he knows how. Neither of those approaches really calls a husband to more.
Instead, be vocal and clear about your expectations. And offer feedback. If you don’t see eye-to-eye, then make a compromise.
4. Encourage him to be more.
Ask God for insight into how He is developing your husband.
Ask God, “How are you revealing your glory, your redemption, your image, in my spouse?” Don’t concentrate on what he isn’t, or what you think he should be, or what you see in your neighbors’ stories. Concentrate on what could be in him. There are normally three different plans of action for this.
- Some wives need to sit down with their husbands and express their sadness over his frequency of work or lack of engagement with their children. In this case, I encourage you to take the approach of what the experience is like for you rather than what he needs to fix. Then have courage to wait for his response. Warning: sometimes the wait is hard so pray for perseverance.
- Other wives might need to examine their own motives. Are you worried that because your husband works so much your friends might think you have problems? Do you refuse to have hobbies or friends so your husband can’t? That’s about you. Repent of those and ask for how you can rest in God’s presence, in who God created you to be and in your marriage.
- Then there are some of us who might need to back off a little. Perhaps we need to let go of some things so that it allows our husbands to engage more. Maybe those dishes can wait one more night. Or maybe we can admit our anxiety about risk to free our husbands up for sharing as well. You may even begin to dream together about what marriage and fatherhood could be like.
5. Invite your husband to dream with you.
I know this may sound silly, but trust me, more wives need to whole-heartedly share their thoughts, dreams and desires with their husbands.
You are the best thing to give your husband. For whatever reason, you are the one God chose to be his wife. When you hold back your desires and thoughts, he loses. Invite him to dream with you. Scripture tells us that in God’s kingdom, men have visions and dreams. They have hope. What are you hoping for? Share it. Work together for a common goal.
6. Avoid the “clanging-cymbal” approach.
Being a supportive, encouraging wife means you are compelled by love.
But if we do not have love, we’re just clanging cymbals. To have love, you yourself must know God’s love. And you must know it as caring and compelling. It is a risky one that changes us. Trust your husband to the Lord. And love him.
Article courtesy of HomeLife magazine.
Yes, It Is YOUR Job To Make Your Husband Happy
Why do so many of us buy into the myth that marriage is supposed to make us happy?
I’m glad to see how marriage has evolved. It used to be much more transactional — happening principally to foster economic benefits or social standings or to produce children — but nowadays people typically choose to commit themselves legally to each other for far more noble goals. More and more people marry with the intention of experiencing lasting love and companionship.
Unfortunately, too many women I know get married and somehow, perhaps unconsciously, expect their husbands to make them happy. When things get hard — and they always do — rather than looking inward at where they may be at fault, too many women point the finger toward their partners. They blame him (or her) for the problems in their relationship. “If he would just pay more attention to me our marriage would be great!” or “If she would just help more around the house, things would be so much better.”
Frustrated and hurt, these women compound the problems in their relationships by judging and criticizing they partner. Then the punishment escalates and they withdraw and withhold sex, affection, and attention.
“He can make his own damn dinner!”
“I’m not having sex with him again until he apologizes!”
“His clothes can mold in the washing machine for all I care!”
“I don’t give a shit what he does. I’m right and he’s wrong!”
So many women sit there in judgment and righteousness while their relationship falters. They expect a near perfect mirror image of themselves, someone who agrees with them and who behaves the way they want them to behave.
These women let their hurt and anger run roughshod in their relationships. Small resentments turn into poisonous darts. Fights over the dishes become biblical.
But the fights are almost never really about the dishes.
They’re about not feeling cared for, about feeling taken advantage of, about not feeling heard or seen. They simply do not feel loved or appreciated enough by their spouse.
Too often these women — even the strongest, smartest, most independent of them — weirdly believe that if they inflict enough pain back onto their partners or exact enough control of them, they’ll suddenly get with the program. Instead, the opposite usually happens. Their partners — not feeling loved enough and tired of feeling nagged, controlled, and criticized — do the opposite. They withdraw and tune out. And the cycle of drama and dysfunction only becomes more vicious and protracted.
It becomes uglier and more painful.
It’s like that old prophetic bumper sticker: The beatings will continue until the morale improves. But the morale never improves!
Never does treating someone badly give you what you want — at least not in a healthy relationship based on trust and safety.
You can fight. You can yell. You can withhold. You can sit there in your judgment and self-righteousness, running the narrative in your head over-and-over again about how you’re right and how he’s wrong, wrong, wrong. How he’s a selfish asshole. A frustrating idiot. An uncaring egomaniac.
But let me ask: How’s that working for you?
Does that ever really get you what you want?
I know this damaging, dysfunctional pattern far too well. I used to be that woman who felt hurt, angry, unseen, and unheard. I also didn’t feel loved enough by my husband.
What did I do? Looking back, I admit that I did some crazy shit. And it is shit. Why did I ever think that punishing my husband by turning away from him and harboring resentments would EVER get me what I wanted? How could I possibly think that punishing him and withdrawing from him would magically give me more love, attention, praise, and affection? It’s nuts. It’s self-sabotage.
Why do so many of us do this? Why do you do this?
Ladies, if you want to be happy in your marriage, make it your job to make your husband (or wife) happy.
Quit waiting around for someone else to go first, sponge up your hurts, love you perfectly, make you happy or — God forbid — “complete” you.
My marriage brought me to my knees. I was with someone brilliant, generous, funny, charming, and so much more. But Jesus, how we pushed each others’ buttons. The pain I felt in our relationship as a result was excruciating.
After FINALLY figuring out that punishing him for my hurt gave me the opposite of what I want, I came to the last possible conclusion. I decided that I needed to change. I decided to try more love and tenderness and less judgment and punishment.
I decided to do all that I could to make him happy and feed and nurture our marriage.
A mentor of mine, David Bell, said something brilliant to me, “Trying to change another person is an act of aggression. Trying to change yourself is an act of love.”
It took me a long time to understand this and act on it.
I now know that love starts with me. And it’s changed everything.
I decided to put 150 percent of myself into our relationship and not sit around keeping score or waiting for love to wash over me. I stopped waiting for someone else to make me happy.
What’s happened as a result has been brilliant. I started tuning much more actively into my husband — prioritizing him, touching him regularly (holding his hand, sitting very close to him, hugging him, rubbing his shoulders, etc), more actively praising and appreciating him, and — crucially — not letting my ego get the best of me and not letting my need to be right lead to Armageddon. As a result, I have managed to bring out the best in my husband.
Our relationship has become light years better, and I feel much happier and more empowered.
Now, it must be said: If you really make it your job to make your partner happy and he (or she) exploits your efforts or never truly reciprocates — never meeting your love with love — you may be in a deal breaker scenario. Despite your best efforts, you may be with someone who is unable or unwilling to love you back and you will probably need to terminate the relationship.
I have written a book that covers the painful drama of my marriage, and what we did to beautifully transform it. The book is called Radical Acceptance: The Secret to Happy, Lasting Love. It goes on sale May 2nd. You can click to pre-order your copy here.
If you’re willing to do the work and put in the love; if you’re willing to open your heart and mind to the idea that love starts with you, and it’s your job to make someone else happy, Radical Acceptance can also transform your relationship!
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