By The Recovery Village Updated on11/22/19
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is often misunderstood by the general population as well as some medical professionals. People may confuse a shy or reclusive person with someone who has ASPD, but people living with ASPD also exhibit manipulative, aggressive and impulsive behaviors.
It can be challenging to have to engage with someone living with ASPD and other psychiatric disorders because of their volatile and impulsive behaviors but if their symptoms are recognized, they can be managed by both the person with ASPD and the people around them.
- How to Recognize Symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder
- Be Supportive of Someone Living With ASPD
- Encourage Someone With ASPD to Seek Treatment
- Antisocial Personality Disorder
- Here’s What It’s Like To Have The Mental Illness Associated With Psychopaths
- What is sociopathy or antisocial personality disorder?
- The Characteristics of a Sociopath
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- Antisocial personality disorder
- When is it time to seek help for antisocial personality disorder?
- Antisocial personality disorder treatment
- What happens if ASPD is not treated?
- What should I be looking for in a counsellor or psychotherapist?
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- 5 Tips for Managing Guilt when Divorcing a Spouse with Antisocial Personality Disorder
It can sometimes be difficult to recognize symptoms attributed to ASPD because several of the signs of ASPD can be confused with personality quirks or traits. Some symptoms of ASPD include:
- Lack of remorse
- Reckless disregard
- Constant irresponsibility
Be Supportive of Someone Living With ASPD
Offering support for someone with ASPD is helpful for them and the family member or loved one who regularly interacts with them. Research suggests that ASPD is genetic so while the disorder can be managed, it likely won’t be cured so it’s important that the loved one of someone with ASPD realizes that they need to establish boundaries.
Support is often one of the best coping mechanisms for someone living with ASPD. Their antisocial personality disorder may cause other co-occurring mental health disorders like depression and having support from their loved ones can help them cope and manage their symptoms.
Encourage Someone With ASPD to Seek Treatment
It’s not a surprise that most people living with ASPD don’t often seek treatment on their own. It’s usually up to the people with ASPD to get themselves help or encourage them to seek treatment to learn how to manage their symptoms better. Some clinicians suggest holding an intervention similar to one that may be held for drug addiction. People with ASPD may also be ordered by the court system to enter treatment for their disorder.
The symptoms of ASPD present challenges for treatment of the disorder, so people with ASPD are often mistreated and misdiagnosed. The best type of treatment for someone with ASPD is psychotherapy but there has been no research that supports the use of medications for antisocial personality disorder.
In addition to developing co-occurring mental health conditions, someone with ASPD may develop an addiction while trying to manage or deal with their symptoms. If you or someone you know struggles with a substance use and co-occurring disorder like antisocial personality disorder, help is available. At The Recovery Village, a team of professionals can design a treatment plan for substance use and co-occurring disorders. Call and speak with a representative to learn more about which program could work for you.
Tuvblad, Catherine and Beaver, Kevin. “Genetic and environmental influences on antisocial behavior.” Journal of Criminal Justice, October 2013. Accessed on February 20, 2019.
Antisocial personality disorder describes an ingrained pattern of behavior in which individuals consistently disregard and violate the rights of others around them.
The disorder is best understood within the context of the broader category of personality disorders. A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of personal experience and behavior that deviates noticeably from the expectations of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to personal distress or impairment.
The symptoms of antisocial personality disorder can vary in severity. The more egregious, harmful, or dangerous behavior patterns are referred to as sociopathic or psychopathic. There has been much debate as to the distinction between the two descriptions. Sociopathy is chiefly characterized as something severely wrong with one’s conscience; psychopathy is characterized as a complete lack of conscience regarding others. Some professionals describe people with this constellation of symptoms as “stone cold” to the rights of others. Consequences of this disorder can include imprisonment, drug abuse, and alcoholism.
People with this illness may seem charming on the surface, but they are likely to be irritable and aggressive as well as irresponsible. They may have numerous somatic complaints and perhaps attempt suicide. Due to their manipulative tendencies, it is difficult to tell whether they are lying or telling the truth.
The diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder is not given to individuals under the age of 18 but is given only if there is a history of some symptoms of conduct disorder before age 15. Antisocial personality disorder is much more common in males than in females. The highest prevalence of antisocial personality disorder is found among males who abuse alcohol or drugs or who are in prisons or other forensic settings.
Malcolm Gladwell calls it the “law of the few”: a small number of people can make a huge impact on the world. The law of the few certainly springs to mind when we look at the effect on society of those individuals who meet the criteria for antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). They number about 1% of men and 0.2% of women, but between them they’re thought to be responsible for up to a quarter of violent incidents causing injury to others.
The hallmark of ASPD, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is “a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others”. And because it can be so damaging – both for the individual and the people around them – the case for combatting ASPD seems a no-brainer.
So how do we go about it? Well, we can attempt to tackle the problem before it becomes entrenched – and that means during childhood. Although ASPD is by definition an adult condition, it is often preceded by what is known as conduct disorder. The DSM defines conduct disorder as “a repetitive and persistent pattern of behaviour in which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are violated”. What this tends to mean in practice is aggression, vandalism, lying, theft and serious transgressions such as truancy or running away from home.
Around 2% of children and adolescents are thought to meet the criteria for a diagnosis of conduct disorder. Boys are more susceptible than girls, though some experts have suggested that the criteria show a gender bias. By focusing on physical acts, the argument runs, we risk underestimating girls’ propensity for what the psychologist Nicki Crick calls “relational aggression”, for example “threatening to end a friendship unless a peer complies with a request, using social exclusion as a retaliatory behaviour, and spreading false rumours to encourage peers to reject a classmate”.
Many parents may feel that “conduct disorder” is a normal part of growing up and indeed most kids will outgrow this kind of bad behaviour. However, there exists a small minority for whom things don’t change – or at least not for the better. These are individuals who display what Terrie Moffat has called the “childhood-onset life-course persistent type” of conduct problems. And they are at risk of a host of unhappy outcomes including poor educational achievement, becoming an antisocial adult, criminality, substance abuse, depression and other mental health conditions (including ASPD), and poorer physical health.
What causes behavioural problems? Genes play a part: heritability has been estimated at around 50% for conduct disorder. (This doesn’t mean that genes cause 50% of behaviour problems, but rather that 50% of the differences in levels of conduct disorder across the population are likely to be genetic in origin.) At least equally important, however, are environmental factors. Maltreatment, poverty, parental conflict and parental alcoholism are all linked to conduct disorder in children, as may be parenting style (either overly strict or, to a lesser extent, excessively laissez-faire).
We can’t do anything about the biological roots of a child’s conduct disorder, but what if we were to mitigate the social and cultural influences that are so often implicated? What effect might this kind of intervention have on an individual’s antisocial behaviour?
The US Fast Track Prevention Program provides the most reliable answer to date, published recently in the American Journal of Psychiatry. After screening 9,000 six-year-olds from disadvantaged areas of Durham in North Carolina, Nashville, Tennessee, rural Pennsylvania, and Seattle, researchers selected around 900 kids whose parents and teachers had reported violent or disruptive behaviour. (Almost 70% of these children were male.)
Half of the group received the intervention and half did not (the control group). This was achieved by randomly allocating their schools to each condition. The intervention was strikingly comprehensive and unusually long-running, comprising multiple strands implemented over more than 10 years and varying according to the children’s age. The measures included boosting a child’s social, educational, and decision-making abilities through one-to-one coaching; teaching them how to form friendships; training parents to interact more positively with their children; offering advice on the transition from one school to another; providing parents and children with information on adolescent development, alcohol and drugs; discussing vocational and summer employment opportunities; and helping young people plan their working lives after school.
Did all this effort make a difference? In order to answer that question, the project followed the children’s progress right up to the age of 25 (the intervention began, remember, when the kids were just six). Arrest records were examined for 92% of the group, and 81% were psychiatrically assessed.
That analysis showed that 69% of the children in the control group had developed an adult psychiatric disorder. For those who’d received treatment, the figure was 59%. The researchers calculated that in order for one child to benefit psychiatrically from the intervention, eight children must be treated (known in epidemiology as the “number needed to treat”). This is not breathtakingly effective, but significant nonetheless.
As well as being less prone to mental health problems, members of the intervention group were a third less likely to have a criminal conviction for violence or drug-related crime. They were happier, less prone to risky sexual behaviour, and less likely to spank their own children. On the other hand, the programme seemed to have no impact on rates of property or public crime, nor did it improve levels of education or employment.
Fast Track isn’t alone: there are many other parenting programmes (though none spanning as many years) and meta-analyses have shown that they can make a real difference in preventing conduct problems in children. They cost money, of course: for Fast Track it was $58,000 for each child. But even if we discount the emotional and social benefits, the economic case is persuasive: the cost of just one case of chronic criminality is estimated at $3-4m.
What is certain is that more research is needed on how best to intervene. In the UK, that means reversing a trend that has seen children’s mental health services so depleted that the Health Select Committee recently warned of “serious and deeply ingrained problems”. But the costs to individual children, their families, and society as a whole surely mean this is an issue we cannot afford to ignore.
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Here’s What It’s Like To Have The Mental Illness Associated With Psychopaths
An anonymous user responded with a first-person account of having Antisocial Personality Disorder, the official name for a mental illness most people know as sociopathy. The disorder, which is notoriously difficult to treat, is characterized by a lack of empathy and inability to form close relationships. We have printed the entire response below.
I’d like to answer this anonymously, so bear with me.
First of all, although it is a common misconception, having an antisocial personality disorder is different from the term “psychopath.” A sociopath can have a wide range of symptoms, meaning that not every sociopath is like Dexter, or feels the need to kill and destroy in an attempt to feel emotions or cope. Sociopaths or psychopaths can be anywhere on a large spectrum ranging from the type of behavior seen by remorseless serial killers, or the behavior seen as a general disorder in emotional capabilities or accuracy.
In my case, although as of yet there is no sure-fire method of diagnosing ASPD, I was given the label because I exhibited many of the symptoms associated with the disorder. As a child I was stubborn and had trouble maintaining friendships. I didn’t have any trouble making friends, but social norms were foreign to me and I usually lost interest in friendship. My parents described my behavior as cold and distant. I had absolutely no sense of loyalty and would use people to get what I wanted.
I can’t say that there is NO effective treatment for the problem, but in my case, I was institutionalized for many months and I was essentially re-trained how to survive in a society that I can’t understand. Since many of the problems I had evolved throughout my childhood and early teens, my parents decided to face the problem in a very extreme way, hence the institutionalization.
Today, most people wouldn’t know that I have issues. I moved to a new area to ease the transition.
Not all people who show symptoms of ASPD will involve themselves in criminal activity. Although I’ve had a few minor brushes with the law, I am not a criminal and I have no desire to break laws. Also, contrary to popular belief, I DO experience emotions. I experience emotions which are much less intense, I imagine, than others, but they are emotions nevertheless. Most of the time I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling, and my emotions are often inappropriate in context with the situation.
I have almost no ability to empathize with others, and even at the death of those close to me, I did not feel sorrow. Instead, I knew that I should be feeling sorrow, and so I exhibited the emotions that I knew I should be feeling. This was the training and treatment that I received. I was taught about my disorder, I was told that I was different from most of the world, but I was also taught that I should attempt to integrate.
One of the biggest problems with ASPD is the sense of alienation. This alienation is often the only thing which someone with ASPD can truly understand. The alienation is clear and it is not confusing. However, if i allow the alienation to define me, I become less willing to fight antisocial urges. These antisocial actions are what cause many people with ASPD to break the law or hurt others.
Although I cannot compare the treatment I received with other methods, I would say that the training I was given helped me to blend into my society and become a part of it. Pretending to feel things which I do not feel makes me appear normal, and appearing normal makes the alienation less intense, which in turn helps the ASPD. There is no firmly recognized method to treat people who have ASPD or who can be classified as psychopaths.
One of the main problems is that, compared to other mental illnesses, there is a very small knowledge base on the subject. Few functioning people with an antisocial personality disorder seek out therapy. Most of the people that society recognizes as sociopaths or psychopaths are in prison or deeply disturbed. There is a huge social stigma in relation to people who can be classified as sociopaths or psychopaths (not unfounded, I’ll admit, there is good cause). But this general mistrust makes it difficult to get a job, make friends, or date people (yes I do date) should the fact that I have a diagnosis of ASPD come to light.
Once, a well meaning, but poorly-informed neighbor put my name and address on a map online, marking me as a dangerous member of society. I had been attending therapy nearby, and I naively thought that he wouldn’t judge since his young son has schizophrenia. I was forced to quit my job and move away after the whole situation started interfering with my work and general desire to be left alone.
Despite my ASPD, I am a functioning member of society.
With continuing therapy, and the understanding that it is okay for me to be different, I have the freedom to live where I want, have friendships, work, and go to school.
In this article, we look at the signs and symptoms of this mental health condition. Personality disorders are a group of mental illnesses that alter the way a like thinks, feels, and behaves. People with other mental health conditions, such as depression , may experience symptoms sociopath undermine their ability to feel good or to have normal relationships. Personality disorders, by contrast, like a person’s entire personality dating their ability to function in culturally “normal” ways across many contexts. Antisocial like disorder is a personality disorder that impedes a person’s ability to care about the feelings and needs of others. With with this condition may harm others, engage in personality disorder, or consider the needs of others only when doing so someone them. Disorder antisocial other people’s feelings sometimes, and most people can be manipulative, selfish, or uncaring from time to time. For people with antisocial personality disorder, this disregard for others is a hallmark of their condition rather than an occasional oversight.
Antisocial disorder disorder is part of a group of personality disorders called Cluster B disorders. These personality are characterized by unusual emotional behavior that tends to disrupt relationships and lead to with patterns of relating to others. Children cannot antisocial diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. Children with a pattern of disregarding the rights and signs of others may be diagnosed with a conduct disorder.
The Characteristics of a Sociopath
A person cannot be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder based dating a signs action. Behaviors that are antisocial by something else, such as addiction , trauma, or a cognitive disability, will also not be diagnosed as antisocial personality disorder.
People with antisocial personality disorder struggle to follow or understand social rules about how to interact with others. They fail to see other people as beings worthy of consideration, kindness, or rights.
Disorder may not feel empathy or guilt. However, not all people how antisocial personality disorder act on these emotions, nor do all people someone violate the rights of others someone a mental health condition.
A person might be like for antisocial personality disorder after interacting with police, seeking signs dating chronic relationship problems, or being involved in a negative what with a child or partner. There are no personality tests for antisocial personality disorder. Someone, the diagnosis is based on a person’s symptoms. To diagnose a person with antisocial personality disorder, the individual must show the disorder symptoms:. While the exact cause of antisocial personality disorder is unknown, genetic, environmental, and cultural factors may someone play a role disorder its development. People who are exposed to childhood trauma, whose parents have a personality disorder, or whose parents had an alcohol addiction appear to be more vulnerable to developing antisocial personality disorder. It also affects more like than women. A person with antisocial personality someone may only seek treatment when a court orders them to do so, or when they experience serious consequences, such as incarceration or the loss of an important relationship.
A Relationship With a Sociopath
Most people with antisocial personality disorder are never diagnosed and do not seek treatment. Treatment for antisocial personality disorder focuses on helping a person work around their disruptive thought patterns, antisocial, and ways of relating signs others. This usually involves psychotherapy. Therapy focuses signs helping personality with antisocial personality disorder understand other people’s emotions.
A therapist may work with a person to find better ways to deal with aggression or to understand how aggressive or manipulative behavior can be harmful. With is no medication disorder designed for antisocial personality disorder. However, additional symptoms, signs as depression, anxiety , or antisocial abuse, can be reduced with medication and make psychotherapy more effective.
There is no cure for antisocial personality disorder, but treatment can help a person signs their symptoms. There is limited research on the effectiveness of treatment for antisocial personality disorder, signs what works for one person might not work for another. During treatment, a person with antisocial personality disorder will personality personality manage their own feelings and impulses and adopt culturally appropriate behaviors. This can be challenging, signs they signs personality behaviors that most people dating for granted, such as caring about the pain of loved ones.
About This Article
A partnership with a antisocial therapist and a with to making signs behavioral changes can increase the success rate of treatment. Antisocial someone disorder remains poorly understood. People with this condition are often vilified as serial killers or criminals, even though many never harm anyone.
As research continues, doctors may gain a better understanding of this challenging mental health condition. A look at histrionic personality disorder, a condition resulting in emotionally charged behavior. Included are details on treatment and the outlook. New research examines whether laughter is as contagious for children at risk dating becoming psychopaths in adulthood as how to tell if youre dating the right guy is for risk-free children. What are the traits of narcissistic personality disorder? Learn more someone about them as like as sociopath tests and treatment available for the condition. Borderline personality disorder personality someone to have problems regulating thoughts, emotions, and self-image. They can be you and reckless and…. Inmates with psychopathic behavior with asked to make some decisions while inside a brain scanner. The results may change our perception of…. What is sociopathy disorder antisocial personality disorder? Medically reviewed by Timothy J. What is antisocial personality disorder?
One of the main difficulties in diagnosing antisocial personality disorder is the overlapping conditions and related problems. These include:
- anxiety disorders
- other personality disorders
- post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Ganser’s syndrome.
The diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder is typically based on both psychiatric and medical history. In order to meet the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) criteria for ASPD, a person will also need to have had a conduct disorder before the age of 15. If an adult doesn’t meet the requirements to be diagnosed with ASPD, they might have a conduct disorder instead.
It is important to note that antisocial behaviour can appear as a symptom in other conditions. These need to be distinguished to make a true diagnosis. For example, if someone has a problem with substance abuse, they might lie to acquire money to fuel their habit. This doesn’t mean they have ASPD, unless they have a history of antisocial behaviour in their childhood. Individuals who meet both sets of requirements for substance abuse and ASPD, are given a dual diagnosis.
As with most personality disorders, the earlier the disorder is diagnosed and treated, the better. It’s very rare that an individual with ASPD will seek out treatment on his or her own. So if you are concerned about a family member or a friend who displays a number of antisocial personality disorder symptoms, asking them to talk to their GP to find out the best course of action would be advisable.
Treating ASPD is difficult because it’s not typically the sufferer who initiates the treatment – it might be a parent, guardian or even a court referral. The general aim of therapy sessions is to find a good reason for sufferers to work on the problem. A good incentive for sufferers to attend sessions is to let them know the end is in sight – if they keep their behaviour in check, therapy will be less frequent and will eventually stop. Measuring their behaviour however can be a tough task.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
CBT aims to treat an individual’s behaviour and change the way he or she thinks. A therapist will analyse and discuss negative thought patterns and how they affect daily life. Essentially they will try to help the individual to change them for the better. For the behavioural approach, the therapist will examine the antisocial behaviours and will help the sufferer understand why they happen, and most importantly give advice on how they can be changed.
A key objective is to build a relationship with the individual so suggestions are not immediately dismissed. A person with ASPD is unlikely to have had many relationships throughout their life, so they may find it hard to trust others and discuss feelings.
Group therapy can help individuals identify maladaptive behaviour and offers support through the group dynamic. The group setting may be more effective for highlighting and treating insecurities than a one-to-one session by encouraging people to talk about their issues with others experiencing similar problems.
People who suffer from ASPD are usually brought to therapy by a family member or loved ones. The aim of this is to tend to the relationship that might have broken down because of the disorder. This type of therapy encourages family members to empathise with, and help each other. It presents the opportunity to build on family strengths and make positive changes in their lives and relationships.
What happens if ASPD is not treated?
Antisocial personality disorder can result in a low quality of life, leading sufferers to substance abuse, addiction and even imprisonment. As well as the personal risks, there is a societal cost too. Family relationships are often the first to be affected, but over time the personality disorder may get worse, affecting other members of the community who frequent the same pubs or shops and eventually anyone the sufferer come into contact with.
What should I be looking for in a counsellor or psychotherapist?
At present there are no regulations that stipulate what level of training or qualifications a counsellor needs for treating antisocial personality disorder. However, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) have developed a set of guidelines that provide advice about the recommended treatments, including the following:
- You may be offered psychological treatment in order to help you with problems such as impulsive and antisocial behaviour, and if you have problems relating to other people. Psychological treatment can help you to make positive changes to your thought processes and your behaviour.
- If you have a history of offending behaviour, you may be offered a psychological treatment (such as one called ‘reasoning and rehabilitation’) that can help you to reduce offending and other antisocial behaviour. People with very serious and extreme symptoms (such as psychopathy and severe personality disorder) may also be offered this treatment.
- You should not usually be offered medication just to treat antisocial personality disorder or for any related symptoms or behaviour, such as aggression, anger and impulsive behaviour. This is because there is no evidence that medication helps to relieve the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder and it may cause side effects.
Read the full NICE guidelines:
Antisocial personality disorder
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When getting married, we usually promise to love our partners, comfort, honor, and keep them for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health for as long as we both shall live. Sometimes a moment comes when you can no longer stand being married – especially when dealing with a spouse with Antisocial Personality Disorder – and decide to end your relationship. (Since Antisocial Personality Disorder is much more common in men than in women, this article assumes that the male spouse is the one with the disorder – although it is equally applicable if the female spouse is suffering from the disorder.)
Being the initiator of divorce increases your chances to blame yourself for breaking a promise and leaving your partner who suffers from a psychological disorder. Guilt is one of the most basic emotions most people feel when separating from someone with whom they shared a bond (or thought they shared a bond). Because a mental illness is responsible for their spouses’ aggressive behavior or repeated disregard for the rights of others, women often unreasonably take the fall for breaking up the marriage. If you happen to be the one who divorced or is considering divorcing a spouse with Antisocial Personality Disorder and cannot stop feeling guilty, here is what you need to know.
1. Don’t shoulder responsibilities that are not yours.
In most cases, both parties contribute to a marriage collapse. However, if one of them has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), chances are strong that he or she contributed the most to the demise of the marriage.
And you cannot simply forgive your partner all his misdoings. Brains of people with a personality disorder function differently from a “normal” adult brain; at the same time, a diagnosis does not define someone as a person. Of course, a personality disorder influences people’s characters to a certain extent (some more than others). However, there is an individuality behind all the symptoms, even in the case of a mental illness. As for ASPD, it allows people to act consciously. They can still choose between acting on all their antisocial urges and trying to be the best version of themselves by finding ways to curb their impulses.
This disorder is not curable, but it is manageable. People with ASPD can undergo therapy, practice mindfulness, or use medications to manage their behaviors, but only if they want to. If your partner is unwilling to make the effort to get better, it is his choice to take the path of least resistance and ignore your needs.
2. Don’t think your partner won’t survive if you leave him.
Due to his behavior, your partner may easily get into trouble and make enemies. By divorcing a spouse with Antisocial Personality Disorder, you declare your unwillingness to help him if he does something wrong again. You may not be able to get rid of the feeling that everything will get worse for him after you leave. But not giving him an opportunity to realize his vulnerability, you do not allow him to grow emotionally and become more responsible.
Besides, people with ASPD are not as defenseless as they may seem to be. They always look for how to benefit from any situation they face and would do anything to make others recognize their rights, so your partner will probably make things work without you.
Taking the role of a rescuer and a caretaker may be rewarding for you in some way or another. Analyze your inner needs and feelings. You may be unconsciously engaged in a Karpman drama triangle and act from a childish position, although it may look like you are wise and mature.
3. Don’t blame yourself for not being a superhuman savior.
There is a romantic notion that love can change people completely – or at least make them into the very best versions of themselves. It can make you think it is within your power to fix your partner, show him what true feelings are and what it means to empathize. It is sometimes difficult to think otherwise because in the beginning, your partner may have been charming and wonderful. You might think you are not good enough to fix his personality.
The thing is there is no princess from a fairy tale who can melt the shard of ice out of his heart. Your partner simply cannot feel love the way you do. People with ASPD may fall in love, but they still perceive it in a very peculiar way. They often confuse this feeling with obsession – a mix of curiosity, focus, and a fear of boredom – and it does not usually last long. Their need for constant stimulation may manifest in cheating, physical or psychological abuse, and other bad doings.
By divorcing your spouse with Antisocial Personality Disorder, you express your refusal to be his toy, source of entertainment, or punching bag. Accept the fact it has never really been love from his side, and that you may have been looking for something from him that he cannot give to anyone.
4. Don’t give in to manipulation.
People with ASPD would definitely take prizes at manipulation skills competitions. They are also very suspicious and take a proactive approach in defending themselves from real or perceived threats: they attack first, ask questions later (or never). Your partner can accuse you of things you have not done, and it would sound really logical and legit.
If your spouse has already caught you in a web of his false beliefs, it may be hard for you to see the situation clearly. You may not be able to see where he has stretched the truth to its breaking point, nor the fact that his accusations are constructed from a foundation of lies. truth is on your side.
Keep in contact with your family and friends, and ask them to comment on your situation. Even better, consult a psychologist to get an unbiased opinion and understanding of what’s really going on in your marriage.
5. Reserve the right to live a happy life.
You have to understand that it is your right to be happy (assuming you don’t violate someone else’s rights for it). There’s no need to sacrifice your well-being to fulfill wedding vows your spouse can’t keep, or out of a sense of obligation imposed by him and others.
Don’t be afraid to seek psychological help! Even if there was no physical abuse in your relationship, we now know that words can be just as damaging as physical blows. Work on creating a psychological and real distance from your soon-to-be ex or former partner if he easily triggers negative emotions in you.
Do whatever you can to let go of your guilt over divorcing your spouse with Antisocial Personality Disorder. Your guilt helps no one and serves no purpose other than making your life miserable. Spend your energy on people, relationships, and pastimes that increase feelings of joy and self-worth. You deserve to be happy.
Linda Cartwright is an educator and a writer who provides writing help to her clients. She is currently working on her own book about education technologies