Can’t get out of bed

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5 Things to Do When you Can’t Get Out of Bed Because of Depression

For many people living with depression, sometimes the most difficult thing to do is something most take for granted every day: getting out of bed.
Many people who are suffering moderate to severe depression report that just waking in the morning and climbing out of bed – the only safe sanctuary for them – feels like a challenge, the biggest and most excruciating task of the day. Experts call this hypersomnia, or excessive sleep; while it’s less common than insomnia, which is the inability to sleep, it’s still a typical symptom of those suffering with depression. Hypersomnia appears in several mood disorders, not just depression – it’s a major feature in bipolar disorder and seasonal affective disorder too.
Evelyn, who has experienced depressive relapse three times in the last five years, says her biggest challenge when she’s in the midst of a depressive episode is sleep. “I read all these blogs and books and articles on exercising and eating right and meditation,” she says. “You know what I’ve read the least about? Sleeping. I would get so angry because I just wanted to yell at someone and say, ‘Well, good luck getting me to a yoga class considering I have no way to get myself out of bed!’”
Evelyn further explains that it’s more of a psychological challenge than a physical one. “It’s not that my body is broken or my legs won’t move… it’s just that I know that as soon as I get up, I have to do stuff. I have to brush my teeth. I have to get dressed. I have to go to work. I have to talk to people. I have to pay bills. I have to meet demand after demand after demand, and when I’m depressed, I have zero interest and no energy to do any of that. So I just go back to sleep. I don’t have to think about it then.”
Mental health professionals report than hypersomnia is linked to avoidance, which is exactly what Evelyn has described. Avoidance, a negative coping mechanism, makes you feel like a victim who just can’t cope with the day-to-day requirements of life. This kind of escapist behavior digs you deeper into depression and pushes you further away from recovery.
If you are living with depression and are staying in bed all day because of it, here are five tips on how to get up, get moving, and get on the road to recovery.
1. Take action and get up.
Regardless of how you feel, the first step – getting up – is the hardest. Healthy people can hit the snooze button once or twice without it having a detrimental effect on the rest of the day; you hitting that same button may cause you to stay under your duvet for an undetermined amount of time.
We’re not going to sugar coat this. It’s not going to be easy. But you know, even if your depressive state, that waking up – just waking up – is a way for you to become productive, and gives you that edge over your illness. But there are some things you can do to help you get out of bed when you’re depressed.
Try one of the following:
Set your alarm and stick to it. We know – setting your alarm isn’t some magic spell, and just because you’ve set a time doesn’t mean you’ll adhere to it. But make a promise to yourself that this is the one thing you’ll commit to for the entire day. If you can’t brush your teeth today, fine. If you don’t want to wash your hair today, that’s okay too. But set your alarm and get up.
Here’s another little tip: search a retailer for a unique alarm clock that is designed to help you get up beyond just delivering an irritating, blaring sound. Some alarm clocks mimic rising sunlight over 20 minutes, so it makes you feel like the day is slowly starting. Other alarm clocks are on wheels and roll off your night table and onto the floor, so you have to get up out of bed, chase it around your room, and turn it off. Ingenious, right? That should work, but make sure you don’t turn it off and crawl back under your sheets.
Ask a friend to keep you accountable. Instead of an alarm clock, ask a friend (preferably one who’s an early riser) to call you every morning. He or she can cheer you on in the morning and remind you of all the great things you’ll be accomplishing today (even if that’s only to get dressed and have three well-balanced meals). Besides your friend being your human alarm clock, it’s just nice to hear the voice of a supportive friend, especially when that voice represents the start of a new day.
“My sister is my wake-up buddy,” Evelyn admits. “When I’m having a really tough morning, she’s gentle and firm, but she always manages to get me up. On less difficult days, she’s really cheerful and we talk about how when we were little girls and what our morning routines were then.
“It’s important to have a friend who gets you, who’s not going to frustrate you when they’re supposed to be helping you. My sister recognizes what I need the minute she hears my voice. Maybe it’s intuition, maybe it’s just kindness, but whatever it is, it works. Even when I’m not depressed, I’m grateful for that call.”
Give yourself an awesome reason to get up. If you’re going to bed the night before dreading the morning, it will definitely be a challenge to get out of bed. Think of something you can look forward to -when there’s something pleasant attached to your waking hour, you’re more likely to want to stick to it. When you have a fun, exciting reason to get up, you’ll be less likely to avoid waking up and getting out of bed. We know this is going to be a challenge too, but we’re not asking you to climb any mountains or anything extravagant. What is something you used to enjoy? It might be hard at first to get back into it, but chances are you’ll fall in love with it again… and you’ll be really happy you got up to do it.
2) Don’t focus too far ahead. It’s a suggestion made in many support groups – take it one day at a time. If you focus on the current day, as well as the goals you have for that day, it’s much more likely that you won’t feel so overwhelmed. Taking it one day at a time enables you to cultivate the skills to manage what’s going on at the present moment, instead of feeling exasperated or scared of the future, or regretful and sorrowful about the past. If you want to simplify even further, focus hour by hour. This will give you structure and helps you move through the entire day in bite-sized chunks. As you complete a goal per hour (it could be that by 9 a.m. you would have taken a cool, invigorating shower, or made an appointment for a therapy session by 10:30 am), you’ll feel successful and active.
“When you’re depressed, it feels like everything is just too much, all the time,” shares Evelyn. “I can’t even wrap my mind around what I’m going to do on the weekend if it’s a Tuesday and I’m laying in bed staring at the ceiling. But if I think, ‘Okay, it’s Tuesday, and today my goal is to take the dog for a walk,’ it doesn’t feel so big and scary. It feels doable. It is doable.”
Mindfulness – the act of being conscious or aware of the present – is a powerful tool to combating depression. It helps you be aware of your current state and your current feelings, and helps you tune in to the now instead of returning to the past or picturing the future.
3. Sleep with the blinds and windows open. For insomniacs who are unable to sleep, it’s recommended that they draw their curtains and buy blackout drapes to keep out any kind of light. For someone like you, who has no difficulty sleeping, it’s a good idea to do the exact opposite. Buy sheer curtains that let in the moonlight, and block out none of that brilliant sunshine during the day. If weather and safety permits, consider keeping your windows open, so that when you wake in the morning, you can hear the happy noises of life – birds chirping, lawnmowers starting, and children laughing on the street – come into your room and into your consciousness.
“One of the recommendations made to me when I’m having an episode is to volunteer where people need me,” says Evelyn. “The point of that is to take the focus off yourself and realize that other people either have it worse off than you, or are struggling like you. But the point is that that works because it reminds you that there is life outside of you and your pain.
“Sleeping with the windows open so that you can wake up to the sounds of life outside seems so trite, but it’s really not. It reminds you that the world is still turning. There’s joy, there’s stuff to do, there’s movement and living and something more than a bed and your fear. This point is really hard to get to, and from one depressed person to another, I’m telling you it’s not easy and you might need a whack of therapy and pills to get there. But life does go on, and you’re part of it.”
4) Take a bath or shower. Cleansing yourself first thing in the morning will allow you to start the day off with a sense of accomplishment. Feeling clean and fresh at the start of the day will leave you feeling just that – refreshed and new.
There are several scents that are said to promote a heightened mood and better productivity. Look for soaps, shampoos and body washes that contain lemon, jasmine, cinnamon or peppermint; these smells are reported to encourage energy and alertness.
Some experts also suggest investing in a new showerhead. Some showerheads provide a soft, steady stream of water, mimicking a waterfall, while others push out a harder flow, which can feel like a massage.
Evelyn says that as difficult as it was to get out of bed, sometimes it was equally as hard to jump into the shower. “I’d think about getting my hair wet, having to turn a knob, having to figure out what wasn’t too hot, or what wasn’t too cold… ugh,” she says. “It was too much!
“But once I was in there, it really did feel like the best place to be. So I started pretending, with every shower, that I was washing away my hurt.”
5) Focus on your responsibilities. Think of the people who depend on you. Think of the people who love you. Think of your coworkers who support you. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teaches us to change our patterns of thinking, and in so doing changes the way we feel. When we are depressed, we tend to forget that there’s a world that exists outside of our sorrow.
When we’re supportive of others, we turn our attention away from ourselves and what we’re going through. By helping others and being compassionate for others, you’ll find relief from your sadness and improve not only your relationships with other people, but also your relationship with yourself.
A simple, effective, and wonderful trick is when you find yourself wallowing or thinking too much about yourself and your pain, take a pause. Pick up the phone and call someone you love. Ask them about their day. Encouraging someone else and supporting them will not only make them feel good, it’ll make you feel more alive too.
If you’re depressed and are having difficulty getting out of bed, contact us today to get in touch with a supportive, compassionate mental health professional.

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Can’t Get Out of Bed: Why Do I Feel Like This and How Do I Get Better?

We all feel sleepy from time to time, and it’s normal to crave a few more minutes under the covers when early rises are the norm. Maybe we have a lot on at work, we accidentally (or intentionally) over-cooked it over the weekend or simply got carried away binging away until late on our fave Netflix series…

But the point is, there’s normally a reason for it.

Feeling cosy in bed can make the prospect of leaving it a scary one – for all of us. But when we start dreading getting out of bed (and I mean, really dreading it), both physically and mentally, there might be something more at play.

Exhaustion and feeling like you can’t bring yourself to get out of bed becomes a problem when:

  • There’s no explainable reason for it.
  • This struggle feels overwhelming and is happening to you frequently.
  • It doesn’t get any better i.e. it’s not just a patch of tiredness.

If you can’t get out of bed because you feel there’s simply ‘no reason’ to, and this dissatisfaction with life is clouding your days and daily enjoyment, then it could point to something deeper. Depression can make you feel as though you’re wading through mud, and things most people take for granted like getting out of bed can feel like an giant upheaval for someone suffering from depression.

But wouldn’t I know if I was depressed?

Most of us have a one-size-fits-all understanding of depression, but not all depression manifests as major depressive disorder – the type many of us are most adept to recognise. It might be difficult to get our heads round it, but it’s also possible to be depressed and not know it. Unfortunately, lack of education means that many of us don’t necessarily recognise the signs and symptoms of depression.

“Smiling depression” manifests exactly as the name implies; it’s a form of depression with ‘atypical’ features where someone appears happy and OK on the outside but is struggling a lot internally. Consider it like wearing a mask. Someone with atypical depression could be functioning alright; holding down a job (though probably finding it a struggle) and carrying out their daily tasks – but feeling tired, disillusioned and probably experiencing a lot of pain underneath it all.

And because they feel like they’re able to push through, a person with atypical depression sometimes won’t even realise that they’re depressed.

Atypical depression tends to be chronic and cyclical, coming in dips and dives. It’s marked by the fact that someone might experience a relief in their symptoms occasionally – such as when they receive positive news or something good happens in their life. Because of these moments of relief, it’s easy for atypical depression to go undetected. Someone with atypical depression is probably more likely to blame situations they find themselves in or people in their life when they feel depressed.

Other markers to look out for:

  • Over-sleeping a lot and waking up feeling unrefreshed.
  • Increased appetite (in contrast to major depressive disorder where loss of appetite is more common).
  • A history of troubled relationships.
  • Heavy sensation in limbs, physical tiredness.
  • Over-sensitivity to criticism and low self-worth or a feeling that you’re not ‘good enough’.

If you’re struggling to get out of bed, and you’ve been experiencing at least two of the above symptoms for an extended period of time, then it’s important to seek professional support.

And let’s be clear, it’s not ‘all in your head’

A study in 2013 which looked at the brains of people suffering from depression found various factors that disrupt sleep, and contribute to the relentless exhaustion someone might feel when they are depressed. When it comes to sleep, the study showed that depressed people are more likely to experience the following:

  • Disrupted circadian rhythms.
  • Taking a long time to fall asleep.
  • Waking up multiple times throughout the night.
  • Less sleeping time as a whole.
  • Waking up earlier and struggling to fall back asleep again.
  • Fewer stages of deep sleep.

So waking up after what seemed like a ‘full night’s sleep’ shattered and unrefreshed is not in your head. Your mind and body simply wasn’t able to replenish itself in the way it needs to feel properly rejuvenated and fresh for the day ahead.

Unfortunately, these kinds of patterns can lead us trapped in a vicious cycle. When we’re depressed we don’t get enough good quality sleep so we feel tired, and when we’re tired we lack energy which makes us feel low, and leaves us lacking when it comes to getting up and doing things the way we might normally do.

But you can break free. Please remember that depression is one of the most treatable mental illnesses. There is light, and you can make a full recovery.

Some tips for when depression means you can’t get out of bed.

The internet is awash with articles promoting a fast-track to recovery – ‘5 tips to beat depression!’ or ‘10 SIMPLE ways to overcome the black dog’. But anyone who’s been there knows full well that most people know what they need to be doing – but the very symptoms of depression prevent them from doing those things. There’s no one trick to making morning times a breeze when you’re not feeling well. But there are a few steps you can take to make a difficult day that much better:

1. Make sure you have something to look forward to in the AM
It doesn’t need to be anything grand. It can be as simple as getting coffee from your favourite coffee shop with that friendly barista, or making sure you have a tasty breakfast ready and waiting for you in the kitchen. Depression feeds off physical stagnation, and moving your body (no matter how small) can distract you from negative thoughts.

2. Write down 3 things you’d like to achieve during the day.
Creating a list helps to create some structure, and when you tick something off it will provide a sense of achievement. Try not to make it anything too challenging if you’re low in energy. It can be something as small as having a friend over for a cup of tea or simply taking a bath with a few drops of your favourite essential oil.

3. Have some comebacks ready and waiting for your inner critic
We all have an inner critic, but if you’re suffering from depression you’ve probably got a hefty ol’ one that’s difficult to budge. Have some answers ready for when the negativity starts to creep in. It could be something as simple as, “Yes I feel tired, but I’m doing my best and I’m getting out of bed because today is a new day”.

4. Take it one step at a time
Instead of trying to throw yourself out of bed, take it one step at a time – and give yourself an easy get out clause. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do anything. Start by saying “I’m just going to go to the bathroom”, then maybe “I’m just going to make myself a cup of tea”. Small goals, and zero pressure.

The main thing to remember is that wherever you are today, however you feel – that’s fine. There are good days, and there are bad days for all of us. Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up or put any pressure on yourself. Depression has a nasty habit of doing that for us. So practice as much kindness with yourself as you possibly can.

When should I seek help if I can’t get out of bed?

If you believe you (or a loved one) is suffering from depression then it is important to seek support from a mental health expert. Depression is very much treatable, and a qualified therapist can help you navigate out of any unhealthy thought patterns that are holding you back.

A therapist can support you by:

  • Helping you identify and challenge negative thoughts and behaviour.
  • Support you in realistic goal setting, taking it one step at a time.
  • Talk through past experiences that might be holding you back from becoming your best self.

Never be afraid to ask for help. The simple fact that you are here right now seeking change is powerful all in its own.

Remember the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson,

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day”.

Please note: feeling overly tired for a long period of time is not a symptom that is confined to depression. There are also a number of physical disorders that can cause extreme lethargy, such as: issues with your thyroid, anaemia, sleep apnoea (amongst many others). Always check with your GP or a qualified medical professional if you have any doubts.

What do you do when you’re too depressed to get out of bed?

When I am very depressed to the point of not caring about anything, even myself, I never willingly got out of bed. Bed was my safety zone, it was peaceful and quiet and my bedroom was a dim cave. That was all I wanted.

But, nature calls and I have to get up. The bathroom won’t come to me. So, after putting it off as long as I could, I had to finally sit up in bed and get going. I found my slippers and off I went.

Once up and moving around, I would then look for something to eat, because now my stomach needed attention. Whatever I ate, it had to be quick and something sweet. So that usually meant a big bowl of cereal and milk. Then I would take this back to bed, eat and go back to sleep, with my TV on.

Sleeping is Escapism for the deeply depressed. While our outer bodies are getting fatter and more unfit lying in bed, sleeping takes us out of our misery and passes time.

The only thing you can do when you feel like this is continue to take your medication and keep in touch with your doctor. If things don’t improve, then the doctor needs to adjust your meds to see if that helps.

I think a depressed person is only able to leave their bed willingly when their mood is lifted somewhat. A tiny ray of sun enters your life, and you are able to see that there may indeed be life away from your bed.

How to Get Out of Bed When You’re Depressed

This is when it is good to make a simple plan to start the day, nothing too ambitious or stressful. Mine was to get up, drink coffee and have breakfast in the living room in front of the TV there. Afterward, get a shower and clean my teeth. That was a big one. I, like many others, have spent days in my same PJ’s without showering or cleaning my teeth. Once I got that accomplished, I felt like a much better person. Then, I would make my bed.

True, it might not be long until I crawled back into bed to sleep again, but at least I had moved around, eaten, cleaned my self up and sat up a while.

The thing that most people don’t understand about deep depression is that you are unable to make that connection between being in the deep dark pit and actually doing something, no matter what it is. The path that you would take out of the pit has been erased. There is no path, no sign post. Until your mind is ready to make the connection again, there is no motivation to do anything.

My only way of getting out of this kind of depression is through the right medication. As I am treatment resistant, this makes it difficult to come up with “the right stuff” so that I can get my life in gear again.

There are some good tips in the above article to get you moving, I hope something there, or something I have said helps you. Good luck.

Why Get Out of Bed?

Source: Photo: Jennifer Haupt

Why Get Out of Bed?

Because that’s what people do; it is the healthy thing to do.

Because I have to pee.

Because there’s a sour film on my teeth.

Because I should clip the hangnail on my right index finger.

Because the dog needs to be fed, there’s a load of laundry on the bathroom floor—not to mention my job. There is work to be done. It is what is done.

Because getting out of bed is the right thing to do; it is the responsible way to live. But what if I did not do the right thing when I open my eyes in the morning?

Because it’s a little scary when I lay in bed and ask myself this question. I imagine there is a choice as I slap the alarm and roll over and wonder: Why? What would happen if I didn’t rip back the sheets and slap one foot on the floor and then the other, and then keep on moving all day long?

Because if I decide it’s okay to sleep in for an hour or two, then what’s to stop me from choosing to sleep until noon, two, dinner time?

Because I might decide to turn on the radio or TV. I might decide that “Judge Judy” and “Oprah” and smelly sheets are preferable to feeding the dog and laundry and sitting at a desk being semi-productive for eight hours. Fuck being responsible.

I mean, really, why haul my ass out of bed in the morning?

Because now I really have to pee and the dog is barking, and this sliver of a nail is digging into the palm of my hand.

Because people will worry. My husband, Eric, will worry and my sons will worry. My dog will just be pissed off. My boss will fire me if I don’t show up, maybe not the first day but for sure the next. My friends will think it’s just plain creepy if all of my Instagram posts depict a mussed-up, stony-eyed version of me in bed.

Because if I stay in bed all day, then I’m not just suffering from “mild depression” as my therapist classifies it. Functional. That’s the key word that defines my well-being.

Because if I don’t get out of bed in the morning, then I’m full-tilt over-the-edge Depressed.

Because Major Depressive Disorder is defined by inappropriate “sickness behavior.”

Because Eric will come home from work to find me unwashed and watching reruns, eating popcorn and sucking down Dr. Brown’s cream soda. Because, I will tell him, today my biggest joy has been the way that the kernels soak up the sugar and melt in my mouth.

Why get out of bed this morning?

Because I hear Eric scooping chow into the dog’s bowl.

Because there’s the sound of the shower turning off. My son, Drew, is humming as he walks back to his room.

Because there is the release of a pinpoint of pain as I unclench my hand and kick one leg over the edge of the bed.

Because gratitude kicks in as I sit on the toilet and I empty my bladder, and Eric yells down the hall before leaving, “Love ya!”

Because I do, thank God, have the choice to get out of bed one more morning.

(A version of this piece was originally published in the August 2017 issue of The Sun Magazine.)

Five reasons I get out of bed in the morning

Del Hershberger is the director of Christian Service for Mennonite Mission Network. He lives in Hesston, Kansas, with his wife, Michele.

One of the dangers of offering up a list of things that get you out of bed in the morning, is that the order can make it seem as though you’ve prioritized them according to how important they are to you. My disclaimer is that these are all things that get me out of bed, but please don’t mistake the order for what is most important.

1. Coffee and the newspaperI know it seems like such a trivial thing, but I have a love affair with dark roast coffee and my newspaper. I’m not one of those who has caffeine headaches when I don’t get my coffee, but I just love to sip a bold cup in the morning. I almost never drink coffee after 8 a.m., so people I work with almost never see me drinking coffee.These days, almost every aspect of our lives revolves around the Internet, but I can’t seem to make the break from having a real, hand-delivered, paper newspaper. The first hour of the morning is the most relaxed of the day with unhurried coffee and a methodical perusal of the paper. (I used to do the Sudoku puzzle after the comics, but since Michele, my wife, became addicted to that, it is no longer mine to do.)

2. My best friend, MicheleI have no idea how I got so lucky as to get to live with my best friend for almost 33 years now. And one of the ways I get to show my love is to get up and make sure the coffee is ready when she gets out of bed. There are other things that I do for her, too, but having her coffee ready is definitely something worth getting out of bed for.

3. The outdoorsI love the mountains and have great memories of hiking in the forests and mountains in Oregon. Now I live in Kansas, so I can’t say that the mountains get me up. I do, however, still enjoy sunrises, sunsets, gardening and, in general, puttering around outside. Even though I have experienced God’s presence in many ways throughout my life (including spacious cathedrals), the most profound and consistent places have been on forest trails, under canopies of tall trees or mountain ridges that peer down on icy-blue glaciers. I have often found myself walking on the edge of the path as if to give room to my unseen companion as we walk and talk together. I wish God were more willing to weed the garden with me, but maybe that has more to do with me than with God.

4. My work and co-workersI often love my job—and my co-workers, too. You might not think that is enough to get out of bed for, but I think, on the whole, the work I get to do is energizing and my co-workers are great people. In fact, I would say that I count them as my best friends. In my adult life, I have had three jobs: I sold school buses for about seven years; I was a pastor for seven years; and now I have been working at Mennonite Mission Network for almost 19 years.In my work, I get to encourage people to think about how they can join in God’s big project of reconciliation. Christian Service programs are an excellent way to explore what God is up to, and how we as a church can work together to be the hands and feet of Jesus as we follow him. I’m also excited to network more and more with immigrant and Racial/Ethnic churches to see how we can strengthen each other for the purpose of becoming a multicultural, Pentecost, church.

5. A future with hopeEarlier in my life, I suffered with depression. Day after day, I woke up curled up in bed, clutching my sheets, with no desire to get up. My heart aches for people who live with chronic depression, and I’m grateful that I haven’t dealt with that for quite a few years. I think it’s hard for people who haven’t dealt with severe depression to understand how hard it can be to just get out of bed, but that is my final answer to why I get out of bed – because I can.

51 Perfectly Valid Reasons Not to Get Out of Bed at All Today

If your bed isn’t your happy place, then you need to reorganize your priorities and maybe reexamine your general outlook on life. During winter especially (I know, I know, it’s technically still fall, but it’s also intensely frigid outside, and I bet you’ve been using your heater and wearing your warmest coat, so it’s basically winter), our bed is the safest place we know. Its blankets, sheets, and pillows cocoon and shield us from that harsh reality outside our bedrooms. Which is why we should frequently dedicate entire days to staying in bed, at least once every several months.

Maybe you’ve spent the day in bed while sick, but I’m talking about purposely keeping yourself in bed for one whole day. Like really soaking up your bed’s comforts and joys, sprawling until there is no tomorrow, and putting yourself first. I think there should even be a (paid, obviously) holiday dedicated to staying in bed. Imagine how much happier every single employee in the world would be after a wholesome day in bed doing nothing (or everything)?

Can you imagine it? Here’s 51 reasons why staying in bed all day is a really, really excellent idea:

1. Your bed feels like a cloud made of soft cotton, heaven, and baby cheeks

2. You’ve been meaning to read that one book that’s just hanging out on your bedside table all lonely and untouched

3. All six seasons of Gossip Girl are on Netflix, hello?

4. Writing poems in bed is the best way to write poems (or stories, or whatever you want to write)

5. It’s really, really cold outside

6. Can you even process the thought of braving the cold just to get to work?

7. Speaking of which, you need a break from work

8. So you can online shop

9. I mean, so you can online shop for other people, since it’s the holiday season

10.You’ll get hungry, but that’s why delivery exists

11. And you don’t even need to talk to humans anymore to make this happen—you can just order online because technology FTW

12. You get to wear sweatpants all day

13. And that comfy, oversized sweater that is slightly too dingy for the outside world

14. And your UGGs (you have a secret pair, admit it)

15. And your fuzzy socks because obviously

16. You don’t have to put on a bra

17. You can finally give yourself the DIY mani-pedi you so deserve

18. And you can do so while enjoying a fine glass of chilled white wine—OH GOD YES

19. Because you haven’t played Sims in a while and who knows what kinds of shenanigans the humans you created are up to. Time to do some maintenance and feel like god.

20. You can make a new playlist on Spotify or iTunes and it will make you feel like everything is in its right place

21. Because you haven’t spent two straight hours hate-stalking someone in a long, long time. Time to get on that.

22. You get to eat soup. In bed.

23. If you don’t get out of bed, then you don’t have to make it. Ha!

24. You can call someone up and be all, “Come over and snuggle your body against my body.”

25. And/or you could have warm sex in bed

26. If you start to feel gross and lifeless, you can just YouTube a yoga video

27. And while you’re at it, you can look up some cool life hacks so that you can become a more prolific, crafty human being

28. You have Gmail and Facebook chat to get your socializing in

29. Or not. People are annoying.

30. I bet you’ve been meaning to organize your e-mail inbox

31. You can conveniently take a nap whenever you want

32. You don’t have to bathe

33. You can meditate, because meditating is good for your soul, probably

34. Because Tumblr

35. Staying in bed is the perfect solution to not run into people you don’t want to run into

36. You also won’t have to drive anywhere. Driving in winter weather is stress-inducing and awful.

37. Brushing your teeth is optional

38. So is wearing deodorant

39. If you’re a regular wearer of make-up, you get to give your skin a much-needed break

40. You can have a several hour-long heart-to-heart with your mom or dad (or both)

41. Having your groceries delivered IS an option, after all

42. Or you can just put off groceries and eat Chex Mix and peppermint bark ice-cream for dinner. No shame in that.

43. Staying in bed is especially great if you’re on your period and have satanic cramps

44. Your body probably needs the rest, let’s be honest

45. Because when’s the last time you just hung out in bed and did absolutely nothing with your brain or body?

46. OK, fine you can scroll through Twitter

47. And feel pure bliss when you see that the people you follow on Instagram have to trudge through the snow and the cold. Ha! Suckers. No matter what filter you guys use, you can’t hide the misery that is outside.

48. You get to send your friends Snapchats of you hanging out in bed. Bwahaha.

49. You get to just sleep, because sleep really is the best thing there is.

50. Because lighting up some candles and chilling out is incomparable

51. And because the world is a cruel, cruel place. But your bed is a haven filled with warmth and positive vibes.

Images: One.Jupiter/Flickr; Giphy(17)

What is Dysania?

We all probably find it hard to get out of the bed in the morning, sometimes waking up can be one of the hardest things. Dysania is most likely a form of chronic fatigue syndrome but I am sure we have all suffered from Dysania at one point in time. The condition isn’t formally recognized but if you or you know someone who is suffering from Dysania then you should look into if you are suffering from some sort of anxiety or depression. It can also not be related to any one of those just a matter of getting more motived for your day.

What is Dysania

Dysania is the state of finding it hard to get out of the bed in the morning. Dysania is also known as Clinomania, from the Greek clino (bed) and mania (addiction) which means you are literally an addicted to your bed. This might not be totally a bad thing, there is nothing better than waking up in a warm bubble after a good night’s sleep and procrastinating about getting out of the bed in the morning.

Dysania as a condition isn’t formally recognized but it is used to describe someone with extreme difficulty with getting out of the bed in the morning. Just because it isn’t formally recognized doesn’t mean that it’s not a condition or that is shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Dysania vs Tired

Well one my think that everyone is sluggish, tired, lethargic or even exhausted when you first get up in the morning, especially before the first cup of coffee. What really separates someone with Dysania and from actually being tired is that they might suffer from some form of anxiety making it extremely hard for them to get out of bed in the morning. If you are just waking up tired or frustrated then you probably are just like the rest of us and don’t suffer from Dysania but are just tired. When getting up is stressful and making you feel anxious and other strong emotions then you probably do suffer from Dysania. It is recommended if you do suffer from Dysania to consult a doctor to see if they can offer any coping strategy’s

Tips for Getting out of bed

If you do suffer from Dysania here is some tips to help you get out of the bed in the morning:

#1 Get a good night’s sleep – this one is rather simple but it is true if you aren’t getting a full night rest you are definitely going to find it hard to get up in the morning.

#2 Stop Procrastinating – It is always easy to find an excuse to hit the snooze button one more time but you have to get out of bed, eventually don’t you? So, stop procrastinating and just get out of bed and don’t hit the snooze one more time.

#3 Stay Hydrated – Make sure you are hydrated, being dehydrated can lead to not getting a proper night’s sleep, which in turn makes it all the harder to get up in the morning. Also, hydration leads to more energy levels throughout the day.

#4 Motivation – Stay motivated, when you are a kid on Christmas do you ever hit the snooze button and be like “nahhh I’ll get my presents later” no you wake up out of your bed and torture your parents until they wake. Being motivated for the day ahead will help you get out of bed in the morning life is a gift just have to learn how to use it.

#5 Breakfast – As they say it is the most important meal of the day but having a good breakfast will help you wake up and get your body started, also if you have no plans for the day this might be something you can look forward to. A good breakfast might be that motivation to help you get out of bed in the morning.

As mentioned before if you do suffer from Dysania it is best to consult a doctor in order to better understand your condition.

I can’t get out of bed

Sometimes the outside world seems too overwhelming, especially when it feels hard enough to be in your own head. It can feel like something is physically preventing you from moving or like there’s nothing worth getting out of bed for. Maybe there’s too much to do or the world is too loud or you don’t belong. Shame, obligations, work, school, or relationships can make you want to sit out of everything. When you’re feeling and thinking these things, it makes sense that you would want to stay in your room or that you’d feel unable to get out of bed.

Isolation, exhaustion, and lack of motivation or interest in life are common experiences of individuals struggling with stress, depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. Almost everyone experiences these to some degree. Hearing this doesn’t always help or make things feel easier, however.

Even if the thoughts and sensations feel like the only thing in the world right now, know that eventually they do pass. You don’t have to feel guilty for having a very human experience or struggling. Sometimes the very best we can do is get through one minute at a time under the blankets in our rooms.

Tips for coping with feeling unable to get out of bed:

  • Reach out to a friend. If you need support, text or call a friend or someone you care about to make plans. Even if you don’t want to share what you’re struggling with, sometimes that helps to get a foot out the door. You could also invite friends or family to come visit you, too.
  • Text or call for support. Connecting with other people is important, especially when we’re struggling. You can reach out to share what’s going on with you. Lots of people do not reach out because they feel like a burden, but many people say they would love to support someone who reached out to them. If you’d rather not talk about what’s happening, that’s ok, too! Even sharing videos and memes unrelated to what we’re experiencing can help.
  • Run errands or complete small tasks. When it’s hard to leave your room, small tasks tend to pile up, leading us to want to stay in our rooms even longer. Think about some of the things you could take care of – like doing laundry, cleaning your room, going food shopping, sending emails, ordering things online, etc. You can set a specific timeframe (5 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour) to do something that might feel hard but is realistic. Once you start, it’s usually gets a lot easier to keep going.
  • Reach out to your support team or a professional. If you find you are unable to get out of bed for an extended period of time, think about reaching out to people in your network or a professional to talk about what’s going on.

A woman on ProjectBeyondBlue.com, my depression community, recently asked me this: “You exercise daily and eat the right things. You research and write this stuff for a living. But what about those of us who can’t get out of bed in the morning? What about when you are too depressed to exercise, eat right, or work. How do you simply get out of bed?”

The honest answer is that I don’t know.

My bed has never been a sanctuary. Not because I’m disciplined, but because I have very painful memories of my mother’s severe depression — her living in her bed — that I experienced as a grade-schooler. When I was much younger than my kids, I woke myself up for school, made my breakfast and lunch, and walked to school. When I returned to the house, around 3 pm or so, sometimes she was still in bed, oftentimes crying.

I don’t fault her for her depression — I have cried hours and hours in front of the kids and wish I could take back those memories. However, I promised myself somewhere in that pain that I would never use my bed as an escape, especially when I had young children. The thought of a pajama day even today makes me ill.

Therefore, I posed the how-do-you-get-out-of-bed question to my community and to an expert. Here’s what they had to say.

1. Be Depressed Upright (or Prepare For the Voices)

Robert Wicks, psychologist and author of the bestselling book Riding the Dragon, has debriefed professionals in Cambodia following years of torture and was responsible for the psychological debriefing of relief workers evacuated from Rwanda during the country’s bloody civil war. I figured he would be a good one to ask about the bed debacle.

“A depressed person did say to me, ‘I couldn’t do anything you asked in our last session. I was too depressed to get out of bed,’” Wicks told me. “I said, ‘Ah, that is my fault. I should have cautioned you that those voices would be there and to respond by saying: Yes, I am depressed but I am going to be depressed outside. Activity and depression don’t like to live together.”

When I really don’t want to do something, I try my best to stop the cerebral activity known as thinking, put myself in automatic mode, and “just show up,” as a running coach once told me. Preparing in advance for these thoughts is also helpful, like Wicks said, so you won’t be taken off guard when they try to manipulate you to stay under the covers. And once your body is in motion, it is much easier to keep it in motion.

2. Just Make It to the Shower (or Break Things Down Into Tiny Steps)

My standard words of advice to anyone who is heading into the Great Hole of Depression is this: “Take it 15 minutes at a time. No more than that.” Because every time I do just that — think about only those things that need to be handled in the next 900 seconds — I breathe a sigh of relief and can sometimes even touch an edge of hope.

Michelle, from Project Beyond Blue, uses the same system to get herself out of bed. I thought her self-talk was worth passing on to others:

“What works for me on bad days is to break things down into tiny, tiny steps. So I started saying to myself, ‘I don’t have to go to work, I just need to get into the shower.’ Then, ‘I don’t have to go to work, I just need to eat some breakfast.’ Then, ‘I don’t have to go to work, I just have to brush my teeth.’ Then, ‘I don’t have to go to work, I just need to get on the train.’ It made me feel like I could back out as soon as something became too much, and I would usually end up at work by taking it slowly like this. It sounds insane and overly simple, but it did make a big difference for me when I struggled to get out of bed.”

3. Bribe Yourself

Laurie, from the community, gets herself out of bed by reminding herself how much better she’ll feel after coffee, and by recalling how much she loves to listen to music on her iPod on the ride in. Her wisdom reminded me of the tricks that Ben, my 85-year-old running buddy (I’m a slow runner), used to pull out to get me to jog 18 miles as we trained for a marathon. An hour or so before our run, he would plot out the course and hide bonbons and refreshments behind the trees every two miles. Toward the end, when I didn’t think I could run any further, all I had to do was visualize the watermelon Jolly Ranchers at the next stop. And I wondered why running made me gain weight.

4. Get a Reason (or a Purpose)

I apologize in advance for the irate comments this point will probably provoke: “You think it’s my choice to be depressed?” “You think I’m in bed because I don’t have a reason to get up?” Well, no. I know of people with psychomotor impairment who literally cannot get out of bed without help. However, I also know that most of the people who responded to this question — how to get out of bed — told me that they needed something to do to get them vertical in the morning. Even though they hate having to get up at some ungodly hour five times a week for a job they don’t love, they are glad they have the job, because their work gives them the structure that is critical to their recovery.

When my mom was trying to climb out of her darkness, a therapist recommended she get a job — any kind of job — to get her mind off of her sadness. So she became a hostess at nice restaurant, and worked the late breakfast and lunch shift. I believe that was the beginning of her healing process. I know it made for much happier kids. It doesn’t have to be a 9-to-5 stressful job, of course. Agreeing to look after an elderly neighbor or take care of a friend’s pet, or volunteering your time at the Boys & Girls Club can give you a sense of purpose that demands rising from your bed.

Join the conversation “Getting Out of Bed in the Morning” on Project Beyond Blue, the new depression community.

10 Genius Ways To Force Yourself Out of Bed

Waking up is never easy. Unless you’re one of those incredible people who are able to spring out of bed in the morning, fully alert, regardless of how early it is, waking up might be one of the hardest parts of the day.

As I’m sure you’ve already guessed — you’re definitely not alone in this. Americans spend about three and a half months of their lives hitting snooze buttons, according to a Withings study. Don’t waste your time snoozing your life away. Instead, stop wondering how to get out of bed and use these ten tips to force yourself out of bed in the morning and finally say goodbye to that snooze button.

1. Invest in an Alarm Clock That Makes You Get Up

The most common alarm used is no longer the red-lit digital clock with that annoying beeping sound. It’s 2020, and most people just use their smartphones to wake up. The only problem with that is they aren’t nearly as loud or annoying as the traditional alarm clock.

If your phone isn’t enough to wake you up, buy an alarm that literally won’t let you fall back asleep. Try this alarm clock that shakes your bed until you wake up, a ridiculously loud one or this one that rolls around on wheels and makes you chase after it.

2. Try a Special Alarm App

If you still prefer to use your smartphone over a physical clock, download one of these apps that are all but guaranteed to get you out of bed.

  • SpinMe makes you get up and physically spin around a few times before the alarm turns off.
  • Uhp will post to your Facebook or Twitter if you fail to get out of bed, blasting your shameful snooze to your social circles.
  • Referenced as one of the most annoying alarm clock apps, Alarmy Pro makes you snap a picture of a place you previously designated before turning off.
  • Barcode Alarm Clock won’t turn off until you scan a barcode. You can even set multiple alarms, where you’ll have to scan a different barcode for each alarm to turn off.

3. Make It Easier to Wake Up Fast

While this one isn’t technically a way to force yourself out of bed, it’s about getting high-quality sleep in the first place. When you barely slept all night, it’s much harder to wake up than if you had gotten a full, relaxing eight hours of sleep in.

A few things you can do to enhance the quality of your sleep are avoid caffeine during the afternoon and evening, avoid alcohol close to bedtime, finish eating within three hours of going to bed and only use your bedroom for sleep and sex.

4. Adjust the Lighting

One of the number one signals to our body’s sleep and wake cycle is light. For you tired humans who can’t get out of bed, try to expose yourself to light as soon as you wake up. If you wake up during daylight hours, open your curtains or blinds to let the morning light shine through and signal to your body it’s time to get the day started.

If you wake up before the sun rises, turn on your bedroom light or purchase an alarm clock that brightens the room when it’s time to wake up, like this one.

5. Drink a Glass of Water

Keep a glass of water by your bed and drink it right when you wake up. It kickstarts your body, most importantly, your metabolism and brain. We don’t typically tend to think of sleep as something that dehydrates us, but you’re not drinking anything for eight hours, so it’s natural for your body to need water even if you don’t feel like you’re dehydrated.

6. Get Up Immediately

This step is just physically forcing yourself out of bed using your own willpower. It’s important to get up when your alarm first goes off — don’t hit snooze or fall back asleep! When you fall asleep after waking up, your body restarts its sleep cycle. Even though you only fall asleep for five minutes, your body wants more and will produce hormones necessary for deep sleep, not knowing you plan to wake up in a few minutes. You’ll actually be more tired when you wake up after snoozing than if you got up when the alarm first went off.

To encourage yourself to get out of bed, get up and immediately start one of your morning chores. This could include anything from brushing your teeth, making coffee or preparing your lunch for work.

7. Mentally Motivate Yourself

OK, for this one I’m going to tell you it might be fine to hit the snooze button as long as you don’t fall back asleep. You don’t have to get up immediately, but instead wake up and think about what you need to accomplish that day while you’re still in bed. What are the reasons you need to get up and get the day going. Do you have an important meeting to prep for? Do you need to make it to work on time?

Once you start thinking about your to-do list for the day, it’ll motivate you to the point where you can’t stop thinking about it so you’ll have to get up and get started on them.

8. Get Your Body Moving

Wake up, kick the covers off and do a few stretches. Yes, you can do most of them from your bed. Stretching is a great way to get your blood flowing and flex your muscles after sleeping all night. You could wing it based on your favorite stretches, or follow a guide on some of the best stretches to do in the morning.

9. Establish a Regular Sleep Schedule

One of the most common issues with waking up is not getting enough sleep. To make waking up easier, here are a few tips from the National Sleep Foundation to improve your overall sleep schedule.

  • Stick to the same sleep schedule, even on weekends. Yes, this might mean you have to wake up on weekends the same time you get up for work, but getting your body on a regular schedule is incredibly beneficial for a good night’s sleep.
  • Avoid naps. It might feel like you need a nap mid-afternoon, but avoiding them can help you get better sleep at night.
  • Exercise every day. They say vigorous exercise is what’s best, but getting light exercise is better than none at all. It doesn’t matter what time of day you exercise, but any physical activity helps you sleep better at night.
  • Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows. The life expectancy of the average mattress is about 9-10 years. If yours is on the older side, invest in a high-quality mattress and a few comfy pillows.
  • Spend the last hour before bed doing something relaxing. Your body needs time to shift to sleep mode, so use the last hour or so before bed doing something calm, such as reading.

10. Make Your Bedroom a Sleep Sanctuary

Lastly, your bedroom needs to be a sanctuary for sleep. Clean up any clutter, keep the room cool and get rid of any noise or light distractions.

If you’re able to really redesign your bedroom for optimum sleep, paint the walls a cool color such as a gray or blue. Invest in essential oils and a diffuser for sleep-inducing aromatherapy, and use scents such as lavender or jasmine.

It’s also important to use blackout curtains to block any sunlight coming in. Try to avoid artificial light at night, which includes TVs, laptops and smartphones. If you want to watch TV, do it in the living room and don’t even keep a TV in your bedroom — only use the bedroom for sleep.

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