Can a guy get hard if he’s not attracted to the girl


20 Signs a Man Is Attracted To You Sexually: He Really Wants You

So you’ve met a man you are drawn to, but you’re not sure how he feels about you. You’re looking for signs a man is attracted to you sexually to figure out if this guy has the hots for you.

Let me just save you the trouble: he does!

No, seriously, I understand that you want empirical evidence that he is secretly attracted to you because then you’ll know how to act around him. Am I right? Well, I’m going to give you 20 signs a man is attracted to you sexually so there’s no doubt in your mind that he is!

Why Sexual Attraction Matters

You know I like to nerd out sometimes on science, and for good reason! It explains so much about dating and attraction. When you consider why sexual attraction matters, you’ve got to go back eons: we’ve always been attracted to people who seem like, genetically, they’d help us create strong and healthy offspring.

While you may not be interested in reproducing with the guy you’re chatting up in the bar, you still will be sexually attracted to him, thanks to your genetics.

You Don’t Have to Be a Supermodel for Strong Physical Attraction

Many of the thousands of women I’ve coached on dating and relationships have told me, “Adam, I’m not pretty enough to attract a hot guy.”

I always tell them: it’s not about you being a supermodel. It really isn’t. It’s about finding someone you’re physically and sexually compatible with. Let’s look at science to explain.

There’s this concept called associative mating that says that people choose mates (or are attracted to) people with “correlated attractiveness levels,” according to University of California, Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick.

So while you’re making eyes at the guy who’s just a tiny bit overweight and balding, don’t assume he’s going for the twiggy angel in the corner. He’s more than likely into you, if you just pay attention to those signs a man is attracted to you sexually.

Sexual attraction, actually, is as much about your personality as anything else. Think about it: have you ever met a man who was unbelievably gorgeous and maybe you were physically attracted to him from a distance, but once he started talking and you realized that his head was completely empty, that attraction disappeared?

Or maybe you met a guy you weren’t attracted to off the bat, who, after making you laugh so hard you peed, you found yourself drawn to physically?

It just goes to show that there are a million factors that go into sexual attraction.

20 Signs a Man is Attracted To You Sexually

Now let’s look at those signs a man is attracted to you sexually! Keep in mind that the man you’re interested in may exhibit some of these signs of attraction…or others. Everyone has different “tells!”

1. He Stays Really Close to You

When you talk, he’s on you like glue.

“That’s so interesting,” he rumbles, “Tell me more.”

He’s standing just inches away from you when he says this and is just this side of being a Close Talker. Still, you like him being in your orbit.

A man who’s not attracted to you sexually will create distance between you two, and he may cross his arms or display other body language that communicates “not interested.”

But this man can’t seem to get enough of you! Take it as a good sign.

2. He Sits With His Legs Spread

This is an interesting sign a man is attracted to you sexually because what it communicates is his manhood. Studies show that men want to establish their dominance, especially around the ladies, and may sit or stand with their legs apart. Think about what’s between those legs, and it’s no wonder he’s posturing!

A confident man may even be hoping you’ll peek at what’s happening between those legs. It’s completely up to you whether you take the bait or not.

3. He Blushes

Okay, so not every guy is an over-confident bro who’s showing off his junk like a peacock. Some guys, particularly the shy and awkward ones, may simply blush when they’re around you. Maybe he feels like you can read his thoughts, and is embarrassed at the idea.

If you’re into the silent and shy type, look for less subtle signs a man is attracted to you sexually, because you might miss these hidden clues if you’re not paying attention.

4. He Touches You Often

Now, I’m not talking a pervy ass-grab here. A man who wants you will find any excuse to touch you. He might lie and say there’s an eyelash stuck to your cheek so he can “get it” with his fingers.

He might graze your back with his palm when holding the door open for you.

He might “accidentally” bump your knee with his…and then leave it there.

Again, if this guy wasn’t into you, he’d go out of his way not to touch you.

5. He Makes Great Eye Contact

Intense eye contact is his specialty!

You can’t remember any guy ever making such dedicated eye contact with you! Eyes communicate a lot, so pay attention to how often his lock with yours.

If you start to feel awkward at the prolonged gaze, have a little fun. Raise your eyebrow or even wink at him, and see what his reaction is.

6. He Notices Other Men Checking You Out

Men are territorial, and whether this guy is looking just for a little fun tonight or something more long-term, he isn’t going to like it if someone encroaches on what he has staked out as his (that would be you). He will be hypersensitive to any man in the room checking you out.

He might point it out to see what your reaction is. Naturally, he wants reassurance that you only have eyes for him.

7. He Talks in a Deeper Voice When You Are Near Him

You swear this guy’s voice is normally a pitch or two higher, but whenever you’re around him, he pulls out the Barry White. Once again, science explains this. A deeper voice can indicate a good partner for producing genetically healthier children, and a man with a deep voice should live longer.

Be warned, though: studies indicate that deep-voiced men may be more prone to cheating and otherwise be untrustworthy.

8. He Flirts Hard

One of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually is that he steps up his flirting game. He wants you to know, in no uncertain terms, that you have captivated him. If his interest is more physical than emotional, his flirting may lean more toward physical flirting than any other type (did you realize there were different types of flirts?). He may gently pull a curl and tease you about your hair.

He may give you some cheesy pickup line like, “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night!”

He’ll find any way he can to let you know he finds you irresistible. Enjoy it!

9. He’ll Smile a Ton


You know that when a guy smiles at you a lot, he’s interested. It’s as if he knows that 71% of women list a nice smile as their most desired physical trait in a man. But more than that, it’s how he smiles at you.

Does he give you a G-rated Boy Next Door Smile…

Or an I’m-Imagining-You-With-Your-Clothes-Off Smile?

There’s a big difference between the two, as you can imagine.

10. He Stares at Some Very Inappropriate Places on Your Body

C’mon. Every woman has noticed a man staring not-so-subtly at her cleavage…or her butt. I’m sorry, but we’re not known for our subtleties! Plus, sometimes a guy wants to give off obvious signs a man is attracted to you sexually so he knows that you know.

If you’re fine with this kind of attention, lean forward if he’s staring at your chest. You could say something flirty like:

“See anything you like?”

“Hey, eyes up here, buddy.”

If you get up to go to the bathroom on a date, turn around to see if he’s checking you out from behind. If he is, you know he’s lusting after what you have to offer.

11. He Finds Excuses to Smell You

Okay, there’s definitely a subtle way to do this and then there’s the guy who leans over and deeply inhales your neck or hair. Either way, be flattered (or run): scent plays a big part in sexual attraction. While scientists are still trying to get to the bottom of this fascinating fact, the pheromones you’re putting off can make a man crazy.

While your own natural scent will do its job, enhance it with a perfume that you think makes you smell even more fab.

12. He…Um…Adjusts Himself When Near You

A man who is sexually attracted to you may…erm…rise to the occasion without meaning to, even in public. So if you notice him shifting his pants around, sitting down suddenly, or covering up his package with something to hide what’s happening, you know you’ve found one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually.


13. He Touches His Chin a Lot

One of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually is he touches his chin often.

I’m not really sure why men do this…but it’s definitely one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually. If he’s got facial hair, he may be making sure nothing’s out of place with a little unconscious grooming. It may also be a nervous tick.

Pay attention the next time you’re around him and see how often his hand wanders to his face.

14. Your Conversations are Drawn Out

You: “Excuse me, could you pass me the napkins please?”

Him: “Sure. Oh, hey. Napkins. Yes. Here they are. They’re nice, don’t you think? I like thick paper napkins…”

If he’s finding an excuse to linger and talk to you more, he’s into you. This applies whether it’s a guy you’ve never even met (like in the napkin example) or a guy who can’t seem to let you go at the end of a date. In the latter case, he may be hoping you’ll invite him in.

15. He Fidgets with Things

On your date, he plays with the ice in his glass. The fringe on your purse. The coaster. You think it’s a sign that he’s completely bored, but in fact, the opposite is true. It actually is an indicator that he’s physically drawn to you and is nervous fidgeting as a result.

16. He Takes a Deep Breath When He Sees You

You know how peacocks puff out their chests and then shake their tailfeathers? Well, this guy may not have tailfeathers to shake, but he can puff out his chest in a subconscious way to make you more attracted to him. All he has to do is take a deep breath. Instant upper body showcase.

17. He Hints That He Wants You

He’s not that subtle about his attraction to you.

Some guys are less subtle when it comes to demonstrating signs a man is attracted to you sexually. He may drop rather large hints. Let’s say you’re texting and he asks what you’re doing. You tell him you just got out of the shower. His reply?

“Mm. Now you’re making me jealous.”

Or you tell him you’re going to bed, and he says:

“Great. I’ll be right over.”

He’s using the element of humor to test the waters and see what your reaction is. You can shut him down by diverting the conversation, but if you want to reciprocate, play along.

18. He Tries to Make Plans That Don’t Involve Going Out

So you’ve gone out a few times, and maybe you’ve kissed on the last few dates, but nothing further. Now, instead of planning another dinner and drinks date, he’s inviting you over to binge watch Stranger Things. Get a clue! If you come over, no more than 15 minutes of the first episode will be watched.

Either that or he makes the classic “wanna come over to my house for a nightcap?” move. Who has nightcaps? People who plan to have sex, that’s who!

19. He Licks His Lips a Lot

Another way a man shows you he is secretly attracted to you is in how often he licks his lips. He may be priming them for a passionate kiss with you…or thinking about what else he’d like to do with those lips.

20. You Feel it

The truth is, you don’t need a roadmap to identify signs a man is attracted to you sexually. There’s a sort of electric energy that happens when two people have chemistry, so trust your gut on this one. I guarantee you’re not wrong.


There’s no question: he’s got the hots for you!

Now that you know this guy wants you, the question is: what are you going to do about it? If you’re also attracted to him physically but aren’t ready to have sex, draw out the anticipation. Let him know through your own signals that you’re receptive to his advances, but let him know that you want to roll slow. Anticipation is half the fun!

The important thing is feeling safe and not rushed when it comes to having sex with a man. Do so on your terms, not his. And remember; if you want this to turn into something meaningful, it may do you good to wait to have sex.

So talk to me. What signs a man is attracted to you sexually have you noticed? Share them in the comments below.

There’s nothing more sexually attractive than a confident woman. to learn exactly what men want from you.

Ten Erection Disappointments That Are Not “ED”

Men, women, and couples come to my practice each week talking about “ED”—erectile dysfunction. The term apparently refers to anyone who can’t get an erection when he wants to—once. This, of course, implies that penises should behave like ATMs—ready to do business 24/7, rain or shine.

But that’s not how penises or the human brain are built. Penises actually need a lot of conditions in order to do what their owners, or their owners’ partners, want them to do. Those conditions can involve emotions, environmental issues, or features of the partner. If one of those isn’t quite right, even the healthiest penis will stubbornly stay small and soft and quite calm.

So here are 10 common situations in which penis owners—or their partners—often expect or demand an erection, and don’t get one. Such cases are examples of unrealistic expectations, not ED.

1. You’ve been drinking a lot.

“A lot” might be as little as a couple of drinks. You don’t have to be drunk in order to be compromised by alcohol. You know how drinking slows down your reflexes for driving? It also slows down your erection reflex.

2. You’re really tired.

Sometimes sex is available exactly when we’re most tired—and worse, we may fear it won’t be available when we’re rested (or a potential partner has had a chance to think things over). Besides, many people leave sex for the last thing at night, when they can no longer do anything productive. When we treat sex so disrespectfully it’s no wonder if our bodies don’t respond.

3. You’re afraid sex will lead to pregnancy (or an STI).

Even if you’re telling yourself over and over “it won’t happen,” or you’re repeating to yourself “don’t forget to pull out,” that can be pretty distracting.

4. You don’t really want to have sex with this person.

Sometimes it’s a long-term partner we’ve lost interest in, but we have sex in order to prevent conflict. Sometimes it’s a casual partner that we’re not that attracted to—but hey, it’s sex, right? Actually, wrong.

5. The stuff they’re doing isn’t sexy to you—in fact, it hurts.

Long, long fingernails where you don’t want them, too much teeth, thrusting or bouncing on your penis in a way that scares you—these can all chase away an erection. And a look, a phrase, or lingerie that she thinks is sexy but just strikes you wrong can also get in the way. Turns out men are more sensitive than some people give them credit for.

6. She’s (or he’s) sloppy drunk.

Why you’d want to have sex with a drunk woman (or man) is an important question. Among other things, it’s hardly ethical (although I understand that you both might be). But once you’re into it—or trying to be—it usually turns out to be way more trouble than it’s worth. Most penises don’t find a sloppy drunk person to be a pretty sight.

7. She doesn’t want to have sex.

Trying to talk someone into it—or roughly pushing them into it—gets some men excited, caveman-style. Most men are simply too human to enjoy it. And no matter how desirable she (or he) was before she (or he) said “no,” once someone says “no” it’s hard for most men to keep their self-respect if they keep pushing. And erections usually leave when dignity does.

8. You’re in a big hurry.

If you’re in a big hurry, you’re either thinking about the thing you need to do next, or you’re worried about being caught (or simply running out of time). Not conducive to erection.

9. You’re just not in the mood.

Many men have been told that since women control sex, a man doesn’t have the luxury of not being in the mood when sex is available. If you’re not in the mood but proceed anyway, your penis may reveal the truth by refusing to participate.

10. You still haven’t gotten over the argument you recently had.

That argument hurt, didn’t it? And even if it didn’t, it made you feel separate from your partner, right? Besides, a productive argument actually gives you something to think about afterward. If you’re thinking about that, that’s good—but it may not leave much of your attention available for sexual interest.
Why does it matter what we call a situation that may be, variously, aggravating, embarrassing, confusing, or shocking?

For one thing, getting beyond the narrative of ED means the lack of erection may not mean a lack of desire, arousal, or affection. For another, it means that the lack of erection may be quite temporary—as soon as the right conditions are arranged (an hour later, a week later), an erection may be quite available. And finally, it means that erection drugs may not be the right approach to getting the desired erection.

As in so many things sexual, honesty with oneself and communication with one’s partner are frequently the first steps toward improving your sexual experience—in this case, getting more reliable and drama-free erections.

The One Sentence That Can Ruin Any Relationship Before It Even Starts

Olga Ush

Ladies, I’m going to burst some bubbles right now and while I would apologize, I think it’s much better you know the truth.

If Casanova isn’t getting hard thinking about you naked, it’s never going to happen.

The friend zone, while a terribly one-dimensional term, is real. Real in that if he doesn’t have an inner desire to sleep with you, he never will. His dick won’t have a change of heart after getting to know you – the real you. Your personality, as dazzling as it may be, won’t change a damn thing.

Bummer, right?

In the most unsurprising news ever, men have a tendency to place a greater emphasis on physical attractiveness than women do. Now, that’s not to say women don’t place any importance on looks, or that you need to be a Kardashian to get a man’s rocks off. But it does suggest if he’s not feeling you at first glance, he’s probably not going to later on.

However, that’s not always the case for women. Women have often found attraction that doesn’t exist at first can still come later. While having drinks with my girlfriends, I decided to put this theory to the test and ask how many of them have experienced a change in attraction after hanging out with someone for a bit.

All six said they had.

“I had classes with a friend and never, EVER thought of him in any sort of sexual-romantic way. But as I got to know him more deeply, I found myself looking at him differently. He was so hilarious. Like, had me doubled over laughing,” My friend said, explaining how she started eventually hooking up with a guy off-and-on for a year.

My friend Bridgette chimed in, “I’ve been on dates with men I didn’t find physically attractive at first, but after they kissed me, I was.”

So what does this mean? That my friends are horny and willing to give anyone a chance? Or, does it mean for women, attraction is a multi-layered thing?

I called two of my male friends to see what they had to say. I posed the same exact question.

“Have you ever experienced becoming sexually attracted to a woman that you were not first attracted to?”

Both said no.

“I’m gross and want to fuck most people I see though,” Brandon so eloquently stated. He went on to say if, for some reason, he was not sexually attracted to a woman, he wasn’t going to be later on. He said it wasn’t so much a superficial thing as it was based on chemistry.

“I mean, isn’t there some science behind it if I’m not sexually attracted to a girl? Like that maybe she’s somehow related to me and if we procreated, our children would be incredibly fucked up? My body is smart, it’s not trying to have a Cersei and Jaime Lannister situation going on,” Brandon continued.

Are women just more complicated than men? Or, do men have it figured out? Do they rely on the biological instead of the emotional?

Do I know? No. My name is fucking Kitty, do you think I’m going to have a doctorate in this shit? But what I do know is if a man tells you he doesn’t see you that way, Babe, repeat after me:

He. Doesn’t. See. You. That. Way.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, horny salmon that would be THRILLED to swim up your stream, so don’t sweat it too much. Go forth and find another dude who gets erect at the mere thought of you. You deserve it, girl.

The big issue is that he will barely discuss it with me. Naturally, he is very defensive, saying there is nothing wrong with his dick and won’t acknowledge it. He’s a very old school Aussie male, raised in country Queensland, where men were men and traditional roles maintained. He doesn’t acknowledge it (he is a caveman emotionally). There was one occasion where he said, “Oh, I’ve lost my hard-on”. But he didn’t do anything about it, and I think we just went to sleep. Sadly (and yes, I am desperately sad, although very angry too) it has become a big issue in our marriage. There is now so much pressure about the sex that we are NOT having! I find myself looking at other men all the time, wishing I could have an affair just for the sex.

I think I am a relatively attractive woman for my age, and want to be attractive for him. I wax regularly, keep fit, go to the hairdressers, try to maintain some personal style and sexiness. The strange and awfully ironic thing is that when I speak to most of my close girlfriends they don’t seem to want sex, and have no desire to have sex, unless it’s a ‘special occasion’ like birthdays or Christmas. Maybe I am speaking to the wrong women. I really don’t know what to do… and can’t see myself spending the next 20 years with someone and not having good sex again.

Shelly Horton then spoke to relationship psychologist John Aiken about this situation to get some advice.

If she’s having thoughts of having an affair, she needs to get herself to a counsellor immediately. Forget about the husband for now and go and speak to a professional fast.

It’s important to not make decisions now that she will regret. They can put together a plan of action that will stop her going down that path because if she is unfaithful, she’ll never be able to take it back. Impotence is a difficult issue but it can be managed. She’s been trying to overcome the problem without any tools or knowledge.

A psychologist or relationships counsellor can give her those tools. Just don’t go outside the marriage, because it adds another level of stress to an already stressful situation. There is a chance they can turn it around and save their marriage. I think she’s got to realise that impotence hits at the very core of a guy’s masculinity. He wants to be virile and strong, so to not be able to get it up is a real blow to his self-worth. There’s a stigma of being a strong Aussie bloke – he may not have the communication skills that she’s got. How he was brought up, and his role models, will all come into how well he can manage any issue in a relationship. He may do what he’s always done and lock it inside.

It’s a man’s problem, isn’t it? Certainly it is. But it’s a woman’s despair especially because, says Fiona Hanlock, very often there is much more lost than just the obvious.

Women have four different reactions to a man’s impotence, says Margaret Ramage, a sexual relationship therapist. First is a feeling that she is not attractive enough or sexy enough. Second is suspicion, the conviction that her partner must be having an affair. “I was sure my partner was seeing someone else,” said 30-year-old Susan. “We’d always had a great sex life and then suddenly it stopped, just like that. I was always accusing him, and he would promise me that he had nothing on the side, but I honestly couldn’t believe him.”

Third is the feeling of relief if the woman never enjoyed sex in the first place. “Sometimes it can be a relief for both partners,” says Margaret Ramage. “Some people are no good at making love and never have been and struggle with it throughout their married life, thinking it has to be done because that’s what’s expected of you in a marriage.”

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And fourth is the feat that there’s something seriously wrong with her man – that he must be suffering from diabetes, or working too hard.

“My husband’s been to see three sex therapists,” says 49-year-old Jane, married to a man who has been impotent for eight years. “None of them ever wanted to see me, despite the fact that impotency is a joint problem suffered by both partners, not just one. One doctor said to my husband, `Well, she’s 49, so why is she bothered?’ Can you believe it? I have felt so terribly rejected. I would cuddle up to him and make all kinds of efforts, but was just pushed away. I didn’t feel feminine any more. I’m a businesswoman and I can take most things but this really floors me. Most people don’t realise that impotency doesn’t just mean the inability to have intercourse. My husband has also lost all desire. So kissing is not even sensuous.”

“It’s extremely important that both partners come for counselling,” says Margaret Ramage. “Often the women are more in need of it than the men, but men are against their partners coming to therapy or counselling because they feel so ashamed and feel it’s something they have to deal with on their own. They don’t realise that sex has a lot more to do with intimacy than an erect penis or even bed. One couple came to me saying they had no sex life and yet they were sitting close, making eye contact, flirting and talking about things they used to do in bed. I said, `What do you mean you have no sex life? I can see it happening even now, in front of me. Just because you don’t achieve penetration doesn’t mean you have no sex life.’ It’s the partnerships in which all intimacy is cut out that often break up, not because of the lack of an erection.”

Part of the problem is that some men, most of whom see sex in terms of performance, cannot understand that most women see sex in terms of their relationship. So to start with they may try to make love and fail, and then they get so discouraged and anxious that they cannot bear to be cuddly or even kiss for fear it will lead to sex and another failure.

“My man eventually withdrew completely,” said Paula, who lived with an impotent man for a year. “First he refused to cuddle up, then he refused to kiss me, then he’d just sneak out of bed in the morning as quickly as possible to avoid any kind of contact. Then he started getting dressed and undressed in another room so I wouldn’t see him naked. He stopped holding my hand and he even stopped calling me `darling’.” Finally there was no intimacy left at all because he obviously felt that any kind of closeness might lead to a failure in performance, which he couldn’t bear. We split up at that point. A therapist I saw said I was taking my man’s anxieties on to my own shoulders, and it was his worries about his sexuality I was experiencing, not my own. But I did feel that up to a point I was having to damp down my own sexuality in the face of my partner’s lack of potency, and that made me feel even more unsexy and resentful.”

Nearly all men have periods of impotence after the age of 45. With long- term problems it’s found that many cases of impotence have a medical basis, so partners are often right to worry that their men are ill. It turned out that Jane’s husband had diabetes, though not before he’d been to one sex counsellor who encouraged him to ask his wife to “dress up in sexy clothes and have sex in unusual places, like in a country lane”. It made me feel sick. He was then told to stop all caressing and touching for 10 weeks and then gradually to start massaging each other. All I wanted was for someone to actually talk to me. I was going through hell and back. The partner in impotence is totally ignored and any trauma you may be going through yourself with feelings of total rejection, isolation, lack of love, are just left for you to deal with. And what is worse is that because it is such a personal problem and you want to be loyal to your partner, you can’t talk about it to anyone, not even family or friends.”

What about other ways of having sex? Unfortunately, an impotent man is often reluctant to try this because any hint of sex reminds him of his failure and therefore, however kind and unselfish he may be, he can’t bear to give his partner sexual pleasure manually because he believes that penetration, erection and orgasm is everything. “Anyway, other ways of having sex are not the same; you want to feel wanted,” says Jane.

There are many more medical treatments on offer than there used to be. Injections can cause erections and even enable the man to ejaculate; vacuum pumps are more difficult to use, but they can often work successfully – they can make a man have an orgasm but not ejaculate. But many couples find them distasteful until they get used to them.

“The problem is that these treatments are not providing the cure they should,” says Margaret Ramage. “They simply address the erection problem, when in fact women’s anxieties should be addressed as well as men’s.”

How To Make A Guy’s Penis Hard Without Even Touching Him

Yup. You heard us.

If you are a straight woman wondering how to give a guy a boner, I have good news for you.

It is very, very, very easy.

In fact, even as I am typing this and you are reading it, there are dozens, hundreds even, of desperate men whose penises are riddled with hard-ons!

For some men, the answer to how to ‘give a guy a boner’ is as simple as “look at him” or “have him ride a bus.”

For other men, the answer to how to make a guy’s penis hard is a little more complicated but usually still ends with “put your mouth on his penis.”

The real challenge (penis-wise) is figuring out how to give a guy a boner … without laying a finger on him!

It can be done, and I’ve got some surefire tactics for you to try below!

Godspeed, and enjoy the process, ladies. .

1. One word: cleavage.

Look, guys love boobs.

Do some guys prefer butts to boobs? Sure.

But you know who is going to complain when you wear a low-cut top and make sure he’s getting prime optics on ’em?

Not one single straight man on planet Earth.

If you can, go braless is a shirt that is ever so slightly see-through.

Nothing excites a penis quite the way an illicit nip slip does, and you can take that to the bank!

2. Invite him to watch you shower.

You might be noticing a trend here. The trend is be naked but don’t let him touch you and don’t you touch him.

The key here is to be standing at a flattering angle as water cascades over your naked body and you fondle yourself.

It’s less about hygiene and more about becoming living porn.

3. Let him “catch you” masturbating.

This is hot for multiple reasons, for one, you get to have an orgasm while giving him a boner.

The second reason this is hot is because it’s a pretty common scenario in porn: girl masturbates, girl gets caught masturbating, guy fucks girls for making him horny.

It’s not exactly, you know, evolved, but it’s hot as hell and an almost guaranteed erection.

Just, you know, make sure it’s the guy you’re in a relationship who catches you and not like, your landlord.

4. Whisper your dirtiest fantasies in his ear.

First of all, guys get chills when a woman whispers in their ear. It’s just biology.

Those chills will rapidly turn into boners when you start telling him all of the things you want him to do to you.

His penis will become as eternal as the Washington Monument if you also let him know about all of the girls you want to have sex with … alongside him!

5. Perform a sexy striptease.

Annnnnd we’re back to getting naked.

Not all of us are born dancers (hi, hello, I cannot move my legs in a manner that is attractive or beguiling) that’s why I gave other options.

But if you ARE a dancer and you have a booty that won’t quit, become his private dancer.

Bonus points, because you aren’t actually a stripper and he isn’t a client so it isn’t gross if he pops a boner and begs you to touch it.

Check out this video to find out even more things women do that turn guys on!

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.


1. Slip into your lingerie and then casually walk around the house while wearing it.

2. Or walk around completely naked. It’ll have the same effect.

3. Seductively reach until his pocket, pull out a condom, and hand it to him with a smirk.

4. Take a nude picture, but don’t send it to him right away. Wait until you’re out at dinner, so you can make him hard in public.

5. Sit on his lap and wait to feel his boner pressed against your ass.

6. Or sit next to him on the couch and casually rub his crotch while you keep your eyes straight ahead, focused on the television screen.

7. Before you leave the house with him, lift up your skirt to show him you aren’t wearing any underwear.

8. Sit on the couch in a seductive pose that emphasizes your cleavage or shows off your ass. Or you can just make things obvious and spread your legs.

9. Make a subtly sexual comment and then give him a wink to show him you knew exactly what you were saying.

10. When he’s about to take a shower, follow him into the bathroom and get undressed with him, so you can join.

11. Relax in bed with your vibrator turned on, and wait for him to come inside to catch you in action.

12. Leave a pair of handcuffs or a container of lube in plain sight on the bed, and then wait for him to find it and use it.

13. Walk over with an innocent look on your face, and then start unbuttoning his shirt.

14. Or walk up behind him to hug him, but then kiss his neck and slide your hand down to graze his cock.

15. Get on your knees. Before you even unzip his jeans, he should get hard from seeing you looking up at him from between his legs.

16. Give him a massage, complete with scented candles and hot wax. Men like to be wooed too, you know.

17. When he comes home, greet him at the door with a passionate kiss that makes it clear you’ve been waiting all day to touch him.

18. Show up at his house in a trench coat with nothing on underneath it, except for a tiny thong and your laciest bra.

19. When you have dessert in front of you, dip your finger in the icing and let him lick it off. It’s even better if you can find a way to lick it off of him.

20. Put on your yoga pants and then bend down to stretch in front of him. Or at least put on some music and dance around as seductively as you can.

21. Grab his hand and place it on your tits or on your clit to encourage him to start rubbing.

22. Straddle him and go straight for a French kiss. Then there’s no mistaking what you’re after.

23. Take his hand and wordlessly lead him into the bedroom.

24. Give him that look. The one that tells him you’re in the mood and hope he is, too.

Sex therapist Joanna Benfield believes ‘millennial ED’ is almost always the result of psychological rather than physiological issues, particularly if men have no problems getting an erection while masturbating, but are unable to achieve one with a partner. ‘We think about the penis as being disconnected from everything else that’s going on in a man’s life,’ she says. ‘In fact, it’s extremely sensitive to stress. If a man is facing work difficulties or financial worries, it’s likely to affect sexual performance.’ Anxiety dulls the nervous system, which is required to spark arousal, and the hormones released when you are stressed, cortisol and adrenaline, can also constrict the blood vessels.

Treatments for erectile dysfunction

This was the case with Mark, 29, who suffered from ED for six months after being made redundant. ‘I just clammed up in the bedroom, which left me feeling emasculated and angry that it was happening to me at such a young age,’ he says. ‘Not being able to “provide” in more ways than one left me overthinking the problem, which of course exacerbated it.’ In Mark’s case, his erectile dysfunction was temporary and things picked up after he found a new job.

For the partner of an ED sufferer, it can be a huge dent to your confidence, especially as we often take on the responsibility for our partner’s arousal. Benfield says it’s important you don’t interpret erectile dysfunction as a personal slight, as this can lead to you pulling away from each other out of fear of rejection. When treating couples, Benfield focuses on the issues behind erectile dysfunction by asking patients to avoid penetrative sex for a few weeks and reconnecting through non-intimate touch, such as sharing a bath. ‘The problem with ED is that it can overshadow any form of intimacy,’ says Benfield. ‘Removing the necessity of an erection allows the couple to rediscover a sensual bond and rebuild their relationships and sex lives from there.’

A female perspective: ‘I felt I couldn’t satisfy him’

Kate’s partner Pete* experienced ED six months into their relationship after a death in his family. Here, Kate explains how they got their sex life back on track

‘Because we’re told as teenagers that sexual attraction equates to how hard a man is, I couldn’t get my head around the fact that Pete was still sexually attracted to me, even though he didn’t have an erection to prove it. I felt that I couldn’t satisfy him. It took a lot of openness before we accepted it was nobody’s fault. Pete would still get turned on, particularly every time I bent over to pick something up, but that arousal just didn’t manifest itself as an erection. He eventually had counselling to work through his emotional issues and treat the ED. Gradually, over a period of weeks, we focused on cuddling and massage, before moving towards penetrative sex when his erections began to reappear. We don’t have any problems any more, but even if we did, we’ve learned that it’s a passing phase. We now have the coping skills – such as ad-hoc therapy and refocusing on non-penetrative sex – and crucially, we talk more openly than ever before, in and out of the bedroom.’

*Names have been changed

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