Reasons Why Singles Are Not Dating in Singapore
This article is featured in AsiaOne online magazine
1. Lack of Confidence
Have you ever woke up early in the morning, looked at
yourself in the mirror and wonder, “Who will ever
love me?” Low self-esteem and fear of rejection
can cause such episodes to cripple anyone’s love
life! As long as such thoughts are foremost in the mind,
singles will be unable to take the all important step
to initiate a date or accept a date.
2. Clueless In Love
Gone out with a date who looks like he just woke up,
hasn’t brushed his teeth, doesn’t open the
door for you and picks his nose at the table? You’re
probably not alone. Lack of grooming, communication
skills, social and dating etiquette can spell disaster
for any potential social opportunities. Want to network,
impress someone on a date or connect with anyone in
a relationship? Better pick up a copy of Grooming and
Etiquette for Dummies.
3. Denying the Coming of Age
Mommy’s Boy and Daddy’s Princess. These
big kids can’t face up to the fact that they are
adult and of marriageable age. They prefer to remain
pampered as mummy’s boys and daddy’s princesses.
Either too spoilt or too sheltered to take the next
big step, better go buy a lottery ticket if they actually
decide to settle down.
4. Wa Bo-Chap! (I Can’t
They think it is cool to “act cool” about
their marital status. When their motto is “Singles
have more fun!”, there really isn’t any
impetus to get out of this single’s comfort zone.
And even if they do want to get attached, they really
expect their other half to accept all their bad habits
wholesale. Don't expect them to change or compromise
5. Consistently “Not Ready
The most commonly heard “default” reason
for the “un-dating” singles. These singles
are “Not Ready for a Relationship” and they
are reluctant to do anything constructive to get themselves
ready. The thing is, as long as you’re not ready
for a relationship, you’ll never find yourself
6. Kia Pai-Seh lah (Scared to
Another addition to the popular Singaporean syndromes
of being Kia-Su and Kia-Si is Kia Pai-Seh - the fear
of “losing face”. Sufferers of such a syndrome
won’t be caught dead dating someone or attending
any singles events or courses on dating etiquette. To
them, it is like announcing to the whole world that
they are desperate to get out of single hood. Grow up!
There is nothing wrong with wanting to get hitched.
Human beings are born to procreate. Be proactive about
our dating lives! It is more practical to attend social
events to get to know more singles friends then sitting
around waiting for a life-partner to drop from heaven!
7. Being Commitment Phobic
This phobia is the inability or unwillingness to share
their life with someone else or absolve themselves of
past hurts. While it can be a valid and emotionally
debilitating phobia, a lot depends on whether the single
in question recognises the phobia for what it is. Once
the phobia is recognised, there are life coaches, counsellors,
self-help books, forums and informative websites that
singles can turn to. The trick, as always, is to first
recognise that you do have that problem!
8. No Money
For the financially insecure, we can understand when
men lament “No money to buy expensive dinners,
how to date?” or when a girl said “No money
to buy little black dress, how to impress any date?”
Well, the good news is dating is about fun. There are
many ways to create fun without having to spend lots
of money. Fun is all about looking into each other’s
eyes and laughing together!
9. Too Busy
Drained after a hard day’s work and other commitments,
is there no more room for romance? Find the well-spring
of strength and stamina that is inside everyone. The
youth in Hong Kong work as hard as Singaporeans, and
their lifestyle is as stressful than ours. But they
adopt a work hard, play harder mentality which makes
them such a vibrant population. Their singles are still
able to make time and
effort to date. How much is companionship worth to you?
10. Haven’t met someone
There are 600,000 singles out there in Singapore! If
I had a dollar for every single out there, I’d
consider myself rich! 600,000 singles and not one suitable?
I am sure you can find one that can clique well with
you. The question really ought to be “Are you
making the effort to meet them?”
11. Am I a Homosexual?
You mean you’re still unsure?! Well, for those
who are still unsure of their sexual orientation (even
now!), I would suggest they see a counsellor first…
I definitely wouldn’t want to date someone who
is still wondering if he is a gay!
Given the above 11 reasons why singles
are not dating, I would like to salute everyone who
is attached or married for their courage to change,
to give love and to receive love.
Especially to those have attended singles
events and coaching sessions; I am very proud of your
confidence to face your single-hood, and to have the
wisdom to be open and proactive enough to participate
in enriching your lives. These are very attractive qualities.
Keep it up!
For singles who have taken a lifetime
vow of celibacy, we respect your decision and wish you
all the best. May the love and strength of your God
be with you always.
For the singles who aren’t dating
and wish to start somewhere, Wow-Her.com has the expertise
to equip you with all the skills you need. From customized
coaching and courses on attraction, dating etiquette
and grooming and fun lifestyle singles events, to forums
to post your queries to, we are committed to bring out
the “Wow” factor in you!
~ Lydia Gan